try to solve this one

watching the wind
fan my fire higher
almost grabbed a newer
book wanted to start
a new chapter
but somehow
talked myself into
finishing this one
stay focused and finish
what has motivated
all along keep on writing
no matter how funny
they look at me
it only motivates me to put
more words down like
my life is a crossword puzzle
who is going to try
to solve this one
without a hidden word or phrase
done that a time or two
and probably again
not here streaming the thoughts
live out in the backyard
late night or what I consider
late night after eight
when you keep the hours kept
started the fire with a paper bag
and a spark burst into
another late night blaze
into another current year...

countless ways

shouldn’t try
to put myself
somewhere I would
probably not last long
enough to make it to
the current year
another to add to the stack
so high it might topple over
but not too high
seeing everything clearer
up above sort things
out and rejoin work in progress
every year since
been solo
been better
in countless ways…

countdown to the current year

last day/night
one month straight
everyday another thought
or the continuation of
one from yesterday
the day before
and the day before that
last night/day
wish I could force
myself to the coast
for a sunrise
can’t guarantee
I will want to wake
before the year’s
first light
last few hours
before it becomes
a new day/year
by the calendar
that we all go by
makes enough sense
not to question
too much more than normal
last few minutes
hoping the fire
will make it until midnight...

couldn't help but notice

trying to twist it tighter
and see what the mind
will produce see how things might
come out a little different
couldn’t help but get noticed
as the beard gets bigger
guess my roots could be
shivite or rasta from creation
this much eye know
trying also to find the loose
ends to tie up before
the new year even if it doesn’t matter
it’s only two days away
what will there be come the current year
when it arrives I will be trying
to twist it around another corner
another year and see if I can
make it make sense
see what the mind might produce
life surrounding produce
couldn’t help but notice…

learn to forget

woke up to an icy ride
wish I could wake to watch
my garden grow
all the more reason
to make a plan
and drop some seeds
wish I still had my
king-man spot
lost it with that
biggest mistake of
my life type of shit
can’t stop remembering
have to learn to forget…

interesting, no?

under the small roof
because the rain and
the cold has returned
hadn’t even noticed that my shoe
getting soaked as my foot
sticks out from under the roof
now the foot is cold
and I have to go inside
to find a dry sock
interesting, no?…

plan my escape

how will this moment in time
be described in the future
how will we know if they lie
about it in the future
and this begs the question
how much of what we are told
actually true not much I am thinking
and so many will call
me skeptical and crazy
or more crazy than skeptical
nothing stopping anyone
from sitting down and proving me wrong
tell me why you believe what you do
how can we be sure history will be accurately
recorded and written
especially since some of us do not believe
history going back merely fifty years
I don’t know why I am such a skeptic
guess I understand that in order
to control people the mind’s
need to be molded to accept
their own enslavement
and maybe I am crazy
but I will rattle the cage
and rage against my own
enslavement and plan my escape...

behind the neighborhood

hard to see the words
under the shadow of my hand
as it skids across the page
out under the clouds
and create some of my own
the only way to figure
the way out sitting
back to the woods
tonight facing
the back of the house
hard to see the words
when there is only
one light on out
behind the neighborhood...

only confusion

if co-workers and family
members don’t count
then I am fresh out
one maybe two on occasion
but most have fallen
off the most recently
seen list long ago
some fairly recent but
not enough to keep
me from perpetual
solitude everything
important is blended
and distorted into
the fata morgana of my mind
no one notices these things
flipped and far away
never mind the huge hump
and I can’t find someone to ask
if co-workers and family members
don’t count what does that say
strange times because
no one ever seems happy
with their situation
maybe they are
and I just can’t tell from
where I stand a lone tree
in the forest silently screaming
no questions answered
only confusion...

really wouldn't mind

coffee before sleep
who does it like this
wake up and wind down
the same style in reverse
somehow a small cup
what’s the difference
been drinking it all day
seems like years
been doing it this way
probably because it has been years
haven’t been to many exotic places
it doesn’t stop me from exploring
all these places in my mind
sounds strange maybe a cop out
or the normal ride down the mind wave
until bed time arrives
it could be earlier than this
and I really wouldn’t mind...

fifty-seven degrees

nearly sixty degrees
two days after Xmas
cleaned the car
so it is a comfortable ride
once I head back to the workplace
nearly sixty degrees
desire to be outside
under the sun visible at last
all the previous night’s clouds
blown away even as
sunlight fades now the air
is still warmer than previous
days cloud filled still no one around
to see the sky change colors
right before eyes stuck in this head
mind circling around ideas
that I won’t let stagnate
or even sit still for hours
still enjoying flowers
picked on the last day of October...

surfing clouds

the clouds look like
a giant is standing
high above blowing smoke
across the sky
and the tops of trees
bending letting it blow
by without damage
while anything not tied
or weighed down will be moved
warmer than you would think
standing inside looking out
the sound of the wind as it approaches
hard to describe maybe a train
pushing air through a mountain tunnel
louder and louder as it approaches
then passes and continues
like waves on the beach
there is another blast
right on the heels
of the last out back surfing the wind
waves without moving closing eyes
and letting thoughts flow...

woke by wind

wind woke me
before light shines
over this part of the earth
and I felt I needed
to sit outside in it
and so I did for about
thirty minutes
the birds know enough
to stay low but even
that doesn’t help
blown from one spot to another
drawn to thoughts that
made the idea of riding solo
more appealing
wind woke me like the calm
of the cold cement
one night in Plymouth
that changed everything
and woke me from a slumber
of a different kind
pursuing something
that never existed
like wind is there
but never stays still
long enough to hold onto
barely able to harness it’s power
and redirect the strength
and realize there is still
sun to shine through somewhere
and at night Orion can be
seen standing strong
reminder to always overpower
any and all weakness
until it is gone…

get up too early to be late

only need a couple
minutes of your time
check out a few words
see my thoughts
drawn out long hand
originally then typed
to be presented
obviously goes without
saying but I wrote
it anyway gloved hands
planning an escape if I had
a place to go or
someone to meet
be there early
probably waiting never
late get up too early
to be late time
to get warm again…

always happening

an hour early
but it’s always
happening
no matter
the time always
ready for action
sit down and chill
reaction and today
just a fraction
of what tomorrow
has in store an hour early
but no one is watching anyway
no one is here to hear
the sigh from behind boxes
ghost whispers from
another artist quite possibly
the smartest one all around
the corner made her laugh
a time or two it wouldn’t be so bad
to turn back time for a few
then jump back to reality
but which one is the wonder
the one perceived
or the one standing being
perceived an hour early
no one seems to mind
as I continue the chain
unbroken…

stars right now

after a great day
to rest relax
and spend some
time in quiet
contemplation
enjoying the sun
just as I enjoy
the stars right now

another new book
to fill everyone
knows what to get me
as a gift blank book
they know I fill them
with my random thoughts
enjoying the stars right now
where I sit four
seasons strong

back to work tomorrow
then another off day
strange change
to the work week
not to mention
the stars right now
but there they are…

Xmas sunrise

sun begins
to melt the thin
layer of yesterday’s
rain frozen over night
and it changes right
before eyes
twenty-five minutes
of steam escaping
the clutches of gravity
sun begins
to warm everything
around sky is clear
and as blue as it ever
appears not a plane
overhead this morning
sun begins
to melt into smiles
from the youngest
trying to figure it all out
no one truly knows
why but there are many
stories that keep
the tradition alive
this morning sun warms
the page the hand
and the face
painting thoughts
on the wall
and as time passes
like shadows
the paintings change
before eyes all day…

ninety plus years

great night together
with the crew
Italian kitchen Brockton
Xmas eve tradition
many years now
so lucky to have such
a tight knit family
youngest to oldest
spans almost one hundred years
great night
fire dying down
out behind the house
and silence takes over
the city everyone relaxing
with family and friends
not many out
on the slippery roads
great night together
much rest tomorrow…

Xmas eve 2016

almost that time of year
when for one day
everyone gathers
with those closest to them
does minimal or no work
almost that time
when everyone starts
showing up with gifts
for each other
it’s that giving season
bringing in the new year
shortly trying to keep
the string of days
written unbroken
successful so far
even as everyone
arrives to share
Xmas eve dinner together…

one more exhausting day

warmer tonight
wish it
was twenty-four hours
from now
one more exhausting
day…

attainable

elevate the mind
beyond what is normally
accepted instead
exceptional should be the goal
elevate the mind
most goals become attainable
or at least worth pursuing
instead of someone
telling you that it is safe
I remember being scared of
doing new things and
thinking outside of the box
as a child and now I fear
less daily as long as the pen
never stops and the mind
remains elevated
twisting myself around what
I can and will produce
and becomes part of the thoughts
that push this pen
week four of continuous
momentum forward never
again to take a road weak with promise
keep back the self necessary
to keep the mind elevated...

longer days ahead

on the daily working out
with this pen even if
it is cold enough to wear gloves
having my own smoke box
not many join up
hardly a rotation
and will take a break
turn out a few more pages
on the daily
how many understand
and respect the craft
even if solely for the self
improvement that would be enough
respect there but some need
that dollar sign validation
which does make sense
but it cannot be the only
goal maybe it should be a bi-product
of what we produce
original thought on a page with a pen
just like it was 1910
back to the present day
do it again old school
smoke box filled like
no one is looking
and they probably never were
and even if they were
what could they say now
the days start getting
longer today…

make it count

traditionally
everyone gets something
for Xmas and
all my somethings
for everyone
have been collected
to one place
under the haze of my trees
like someone speaking
with a burning bush
so what, I might wear gloves
when I write but it
keeps the fingers from going numb
no one sees me here
out behind the house
pouring my mind into
my books day after day
twenty-one days
straight to the top
of everyday
working out is a part
of my job in general
make it count
or else what’s the pointing
spending the afternoon
with smokey on the porch
out behind where
no one can see
it’s no wonder
we are always alone
and by we
I mean my thoughts & I…

long ride

long ride to visit
an old friend
just like the old days
back to when I had
my own space
created an outer
and inner space
long ride to clear
the head above
all around
day off but went
to work anyway
glad I did
another one in four
days Xmas with the family…

outside in the cold

outside in the cold
still light for
a few more minutes
two days until
daylight increases
again slowly
one or two minutes
a day until warm
weather returns
at last puffin’ tough
even when it’s cold enough
to freeze the breath
mustache frozen
fingertips numb
time for a shower
to thaw out for the night...

obvious to some

listening to the wind
watching the trees bend
it’s amazing they all don’t snap
it’s a mild day today
but the wind has a bite to it
what the wind says that winter
has arrived a few days
early this year betting
on tomorrow being colder
than today and possibly
from now on until spring
sun warms us all
again just keeping
it going probably
obvious to those
paying attention…

snow commute

snow came early
but I got to work
before it got too bad
snow kept coming New England
winter style then quickly turned
to rain by afternoon
made for a soggy ride home
soggy night writing spot
finally got to lay down
a few thoughts
not just to keep the streak going
strong no end in sight
unless I let the weather
beat me down
snow came day after
new tires and breaks
nothing really to slow me down…

split instead

when the days off
from the job are split
instead of consecutive
it makes the weeks seem
shorter but only when
necessary because two consecutive
days filled with rest
are definitely necessary
most of the time
not as necessary as
the employment itself
and although it’s unfortunate
it’s survival and there are ways
out if you can figure it out...

12 lines over three days

another night
under the moon
always alone
tomorrow come soon

seeing the cold
it’s so thick
going to be nearly
zero degrees

spent nearly two days
with the family
tight like a sweater
only worn on Xmas...

enough with the anger

don’t want to be angry
at anyone at all
and take it from today
nothing could bring me down
then the mail came
serves me right for not
keeping friends closer
can count on either hand
empty and not held
don’t want to be angry
because there is no one to blame
me as I sit on the porch
every night rain or not
cold or hot but I don’t want
to be angry at myself
for leaving the only love I knew
for the garbage that took
five years to climb out from
underneath just have to keep
plugging forward
even when angry hoping
this steam blowing
is enough to bring
back some balance...

no one to keep me from my fire

worked today
not usual
sixth day straight
used to do it weekly
before I changed paths
and directions
some decisions
extremely wrong
only one lately
has been right
back to home base
to regroup
worked today
quite usual
out straight everyday
non stop thought
working out the muscle
that has to get me
to the end
work tomorrow
only perfecting the self
I grow to be daily
whenever it might be
no one by my side
to keep me from my fire
burning nightly
nothing to slow my flow
adversely nothing to push me
forward with encouragement
reach down deep for the motivation
so I will not skip a day
away from two weeks straight
to the head with that holy smoke
it helps me hope for a better day
building like stairs
to the highest point...

watch a few rounds

this day and age
it’s easy to look back
to events watched on
the television
years ago
back twenty years or more
watched a lot of boxing
with my grandfather
able to look back now
on fights I watched
with him not knowing
at the time how history
would view some of these
fights bringing back
memories of thunderous
punches and the sight
of two big guys
pounding until only
one man is standing...

snow by morning

the weather report
says snow for tomorrow
just in time
for my drive to work
luckily the snow should be
turning to rain
but usually that means
ice too and none of it
sounds fun but
tomorrow is another day
or so they say
it’s so cliché
right now it’s just cold
and there are many
people so sad because
of a popularity contest
which they lost
and it probably means
very means very little
and the last eight
a little worse than the previous
eight and on and on
if you keep going back
through all the popularity
contests every four years
but what is done in the present
moment on a local level
is probably the only thing
we an try to hold on to
or control or ride out
like surfing on a diminishing
wave that will bring
us to the shore...

figure it out daily

another day becomes
a box crossed off on the wall
count down like a kid
until the day passes
then another quickly replaces
soon to fall from the porch without
this railing leaned upon
upon the highest hill
found climbed and stood up on
a ground found higher than others
made it to this spot
time and time again
pushed out into the sun
before it drifts
away for today
until darkness
opens to tomorrow light
as it arrives
and I will welcome it
everyday is a chance
to figure it out
all over again…

must be

must be crazy
have writing gloves on
so cold on the skin
won’t blow my smoke indoors
try to rethink things a bit
as I keep my hand moving
to avoid more of a chill
must be a little off
balance watch me stand on my head
what else can you do but watch
when it’s flipped upside down
he must be crazy they’ll say
and it will be me sitting here
finger pointed at me
in the cold I smile
at all the laughter...

a day ago

a day ago
right here
same mind
shook up daily
pack me one
love through thought
about it
all day long
until I grabbed
the pen and put
it down one two
three as if there
was a beat there too
like a rock
walkway in the backyard
a day ago
couldn’t find a dry spot
wet up the page
mind shook up
blended with whatever
goes on in it
each day
a day ago
right here as the sunlight
diminishes...

if nothing else

an hour early
to the table
and no one is here
and in an hour
how many will join
at this table
everyday it’s a new
journey refusing
to just flow because
it’s mainstream
if they don’t know me
how do they think they know me
or what I like
or anyone for that matter
who are they who think they know
an hour early but
I don’t have any trouble waiting
patience seems to be a strength
I have developed wasn’t always there
a couple days of rest always good for
strength as well wishers watch
thirty minutes pass quick
almost on time as many
will arrive maybe only in the mind
but they will be here in spirit
if nothing else...

staring down the hermit

have mysteriously become
a hermit again
and it will probably be something
others will tell me I will regret
but I can really get a lot
of work done
becoming an all work and no play
guy making the edge get dull
but the thoughts are still
sharp and daily direction
unknown until first step taken
a reflection or light source
I can’t tell sitting where I do
the light seems quite different
doesn’t matter what they
tell us to believe
everyone can see this for themselves
seem to have become a professional
hermit because I work and do my part
but when chilling I am usually home alone
not the worst attribute to have
but pretty far from the best too
it’s so hard to snap out of it
in order to venture out
and see what is going on
even if nothing
it would be something
to the hermit
it would be something
if I manage to get there…

after breakfast

breakfast with dad
one of my closest friends
sunshine on the table
and the page
and the hand is moving quick
keeping the thoughts
flowing from breakfast with dad
appreciate the friendship
after years of unwavering support
no matter what the midnight call
might have been shift
gears now speaking with an old friend
and the relationship with his dad
completely opposite situation
then we drove by the school
where we met in the 3rd grade
wasn’t even planned…

skinny bones in the cold

sound of the waterfall is back
unclogged the pump of all the leaves
the trees all around around
are skinny bones
in the cold
sometimes sitting in then quiet
is the only thing that makes sense
the chill is deep
the dedication to words
on the page has to be deeper...

cold all around

wet feet
cold all around
snow for an hour
dinner will be soon
and how lucky am I
warm outside under stars
nightly as Xmas lights flash
from all directions
the holiday is only twenty
days away
wet feet cold
might have snow on the ground
by then and then it’s over
new year then it becomes
the current year
just like the rest did
even wet feet
not half bad
mostly good
and the day goes on
until the night takes over
the top of this table
looking down to
wet feet...

ended up going solo

everyday
all day if I could
would should
and then some
head into the stars
as I sip my coffee
out of the big dipper
who is going to tell me I can’t
hang out in the sky early morning
alone with my mind
everyday all day
without a choice
late night alone in the mind
solo like the red cup
but it’s not a throw away
and I wish I didn’t with
so much time I can never
get back everyday
all day took the wrong road
and ended up
going solo instead…

make my own coffee

it’s why I would
rather make
my own coffee
feeling lazy I stopped
at dunkin’ donuts
and ordered large hot
2 cream only
shouldn’t be hard
repeat it back pay
on my way quick
take a sip
and there is sugar in it
serves me right
for being lazy
and not making my own
which is what I would rather do...

always observing

always watching
the sky layered
with clouds as the sun
drifts away down and under
or just around
always observing
and comparing to
what has been learned
and figuring out what
may need to be unlearned
in order to see reality
not this matrix constructed
for all to learn and abide by
watching and hoping
to learn something
from the observation
even if learning is seeing
the ways in which I am weak
and need improvement…

it's really not my problem

never going to not put it down
even if no one picks it up to read
that’s really not my problem
putting it out there
spend the time scouring the entrails
of that mind twisted
only so that the focus is different
than what is told never going to believe
unless seen or felt or connected
with which I am but what if
it has all been a lie
more accurate it would disprove
so many things
never going to let it surprise
me when they can no longer
hide the obvious
behind another lie
everyone is not the same
each unique not forced
into groups someone else
labels for us
we decide
and I am never going
to give up on
leaving something
important behind...

close enough

the clock is right
says close enough
time to puff
last month of the year
my luck is right on now
at times it’s been rough
life and all the usual stuff
no room for any fear
the clock stands still
day ends with best friends
the ones that put me here
the clock moves again
both hands hit four
then move a little more
don’t think I did
still here...

front porch in the rain

the rain forces me
to take shelter
up on the front porch
where everyone passing
can see me off and on like
the Christmas lights
but no one drives down
this far on purpose anyway
three or 4 a day make the mistake
realize the end is dead
or so they say
not a through way
the rain wets up the page a bit
wind in the face no one sees
this happen but that doesn’t mean
it didn’t happen because I
have been here the entire
time the rain has some answers for me
keeps me inside on a day
off from the grind locked
up high time stuck up in the mind
until those answers I find
left and intentional
the rain clears things up a bit
or maybe it’s just the view
from the front porch in the rain...

almost got away

stone wall for a desk
gloves on because it’s cold
more so than it has
been lately
stone wall for a table
cools the coffee faster
as the minutes
push on…

missing in action

seems to be missing
in action even a reaction
would be nice if possible
the smell of some incense
brings about inspirational
memories or memories
of inspirational moments
and all these years later
I still like my own handwriting
and only punching at keys
when editing these thoughts
feeling repetitive and not so inspired
but writing requires writing
and not writing is wasting time
as far as I know anyway
seems to be another rainy night
yet it’s still early but the sky
has gone dark as I try to find
my inspiration…

see through it all

see through all the fog
or is it smoke
from another
mid week blaze
burn one down daily
see right through the rain
watched my fire
survive the rain last night
three days rest
now back to the grind
more rest comes in three
still thankful even
the next day
see through the regularity
into something
to be be thankful
for everyday…

fire beats rain

moved out of the rain
hoping it won’t quickly
smother my fire
hot enough to withstand
first wave of light
rain but now it’s soaking
everything around
but dry where I sit
perched above under a small
roof can perfectly view
the fire from a distance
watch it fight the elements
and survive despite the wet
blanket falling fast
thankful for the day
the food and especially
the family I am a part of
thankful for my health
and security where I
rest my mind and body
recharges for the days ahead
left behind all the footprints
won’t ever retrace some steps
but might create a path
when I get comfortable...

steady movement

a steady movement
of the cold air
warm breath and smoke
mix as one deep exhale
drumming from the northeast
traditional on the calendar square
given to today
early enough to plan a path of thought
straight through
steady movement of the air
inside as well
a warmer version
like a tight shirt underneath
layers to keep out the cold
the steady movement of thought
doesn’t stop proved year after year
despite painful hands
through the delivery
hands full of steady movement
forward no matter
who sees some days
seemingly invisible
someone sees even in this deep
solitude if need be think of these
thoughts as prayers or positive thoughts
pointing in the right direction
steady movement says
keep on walking…

another thankful day

another day
but one to relax
be with those
who are the closest
being thankful
doesn’t require
it’s own day
but some need
to be reminded
to be thankful
really they do
and need the once a year
reminder historically
commemorating some
positive and some negative
facts historically
symbolizing the same idea
being thankful
on another day and today…

pen moves fast enough

green beneath
and behind it all
might surprise you
if given the opportunity
always here lucky enough
to test your luck
when there is nothing
to lose only thought
to gain and everyone
likes a good gain
and I relight it again
as the night remains
cold wood underneath
seated at the table
green beneath pen
moving fast enough...

different turn

took a different turn
already dark and cold
stars almost ready
to put on the night light
march overhead
took that turn that shook me free
from any group thought process
no group here power up and strengthen
in solitude no need for further distraction
coexisted three times done with that
do it pirate style someone else’s ship
good thing I am welcome as they say
took a different turn
and no one followed back to where I started
thirty-nine years planted some deep roots
and the trees have grown tall enjoying
a cold night on a young porch
in an old backyard where I ended up
taking that different turn four years ago
a night in March and never went back...

TodayIsTheDay #16

today is the day
to regain some of the focus
lost in the fata morgana
of my mind not sure
how many know how to unwind
that blurry vision
into the furthest
line beyond our sight
today is the day
sitting out under the night
the blueness of the day
has now turned to clarity
in the black of the night sky...

everyone gets worried

everyone
was so worried
about the reality
the election results
would bring
but somehow no one
expected the outcome
no one speaks of it in the workplace
because of its divisive nature
I don’t think this is necessarily
the right way to participate
in our democratic republic
but what do I know
and who really knows if our votes
are even counted in the way
we intend them to be counted
never had much faith
in a system that taxes us
instead of encouraging us
to prosper and build a strong
national economy fifty-three years ago
he was killed in the daylight hours
head blown off in public
struck fear into the hearts of people
grabbed their attention
and told what to think
everyone was so worried
in reality the days continue
uninterrupted and tomorrows
keep coming until you can no longer
remember to pay attention...

sun drifts off

the shadows on the page
look different this time of year
how many sit outside and both absorb
and repel the cold air
a mini battle to find
the right balance as I write
to find my balance
and three days in a row without
work is a vacation on my calendar
this mid afternoon light
is pretty much evening
considering it will be dark by
five thirty and the skies have been unusually
quiet today no signs of planes
anywhere large small or helicopters
daily alternate overhead but today
it’s quiet maybe it’s a sky holiday
nobody mentioned it
how many actually notice
the day long blue expanse above
without a trace of traffic in the air
it’s only going to get colder as
the sun drifts off...

seasonably normal

outside the sun shines
despite the cold air
seasonably normal I suppose
fire from the twilight
remained hot and smoldering
right through the early morning frost
finally up front and center
with these thoughts
the ones that never seem to stop
no matter how hard the eyes
are closed sleep interrupted
over and over again
wishing I knew the remedy
waking up exhausted still
as if sleep avoided this mind
all night long alone in a semi-familiar
spot but the back yard landscape
is where it seems
to flow from the pen...

woke up earlier

woke up before
light came through the trees
back to a spot like the old days
pot of coffee on the table
just no ashtray now
no one appreciated
what it may have helped
a writer produce
although I would never
give any credit to the damaging smoke
only the holy smoke
sitting for five minutes alone
before being told they no longer
have bagels on the menu
that seems odd
woke up and coffee was already made
dad must have woke early with the dog
then back to rest
short days and long nights
definitely drop the mood
a bit below the horizon
or so we think
with the lights of the sky
see Orion and think of
an old love short lived
but long term memories
knowing she shouldn’t have
gotten away despite reality
and the fault line is one I know
well wishers tell tales
of different scenarios
and where to cast my line
they don’t seem to understand
that I am not fishing
and no one is even watching...

throw my bucket down

listening to the sound
of November in the air
chilled as I am out behind
the house where I grew up
growing roots now here
look to the moon and same stars
this possibility escapes me
trying to focus and take it all in
as well throw my bucket down
with a few coins and a wish
if it counts at all
the sounds blend and become
one hum and then becoming
the silence of tonight...

Write On #9

pick it up
& put it down
forgotten
until found
two thirds
of a year later...

think deep enough

mad nonsense seen
for nearly a year building
climbing to a peak
but how many think deep
enough instead of reacting
with the crowds both
those who think they lost
and those who think they won
what about those who think
not much of the day to day
will change and all change starts
deep within and not from
the mad nonsense going on
in cities that think they lost
the popularity contest
ironically most thought
they would win
and they worried and spoke of
this exact scenario in the opposite
direction from those who now
think they have won
only time will tell now
if anyone on either side
or in the middle wins
in the day to day
or if anything will
change from within...

repeat for 25 years

there are days
and this empty feeling
no thought not a negative
empty but a feeling
of cleansing or reinvention
on a regular basis
to keep the thoughts fresh
not as repetitive despite the process
of repetition spanning 25 years
and probably longer
some days stronger than others
and the fullness of the night thoughts
pour like the rain came down today
there are days when no one else
speaks everyone keeps in their own world
which is powerful to witness
and be empty enough to appreciate
the solitude swimming through
another night without a fire
but plenty of thought
from this empty mind...

a few hours young

watching the rain drops
from a dry spot
out front tripping
over stones still stationary
stained with ink
and memories
might only be
a few hours young
words simple but to the point
watching the rain drops
knowing no one I know
does this and that might be
why I do probably not entirely
but not a forgettable moment
goes unrecorded does that itself
create a reality behind reality
or is it simply words on a page
put there no one special
for no particular purpose
beyond the emptying of a mind
full up with all sorts of thoughts
released watching the rain drops
said to give way to a beautiful day
tomorrow and I can see it
through the rain tonight…

history made

so Donald Trump won
and will be #45
if the system he defeated
lets him live to be sworn in
still one eye watching with
skepticism can truly never
trust the politicians
although this is the first
in modern history
with no political experience
so history was made
and only time will tell
the biggest upset in the history
of American politics
will #45 really be
the people’s president...

degenerate by design

find myself on the other side
back to some different thoughts
college days once thought
broke the conservative upbringing
with an independent lifestyle
twenty years later
independently conservative
still don’t never did believe
control was necessary
the control can be seen
through as the mind type
it comes from mainstream
society progressively becoming
more degenerate by design...

we are awake

is it even our choice anymore
has it ever been really
if it is then
he wins
let me call it now
I know it’s too early
the entire night ahead
and if there is rigging
going on the time is still
available to make her
the first in history
just like the one
sitting there now
part of me hopes it is
still up to us otherwise
the future holds no promise
of change from the control
structure the younger generation
was born into and lives within
this could be historic because
he is not part of their control club
he is right in saying
we might never get this chance again
to elect or select someone who is not
in their club of control
and since it seems that we have the choice
we chose him everyday
let me call it early
save everyone the worry
no let’s hope he is for real
and will improve our daily grind
and admittedly it is hard
to trust anyone running
for that highest office
because there is always that chance
that we are being duped again
so many already fooled into
so many half-truths
and distracted beyond repair
still positive shines
those who are awake
are not going back to sleep...

truth itself stands strong

truth has always been just beneath the surface
is smooth and easily broken
like thin ice to expose
a truth for all to see a
lion pacing back and forth in a cage
you unlocked and open the gate
don’t doubt the choice to unlock the truth
have confidence in the self, the decision
to open the gate to absolute truth
defend the self with truth
it can set the mind free
let all the stress melt away
it can stand alone
loose the grip that others might encourage
it will only stifle and stultify
will to push forward with truth no need to
defend it because it is the truth
itself standing strong...

some get distracted

some will say they hate
politics and those in control
love those people
because they are not paying attention
except to the mainstream
media the fourth branch
of our current political structure
keeping people focused on the things
that don’t matter distracted by so many
different things luckily research is easier
than ever before and if you can find
and make the time you can see through
the lies and how any sensible
hard working American should
oppose the current political
establishment...

under faded light

under faded light
moving the pen
crowd cheers some
team support off in the distance
under faded light
in my spot on this earth
under the stars
awake at 3 am
took a walk outside
see the dark night
and bright starlight
quick walk around the yard
back to sleep still up
before 7 am
under faded light
pensive and lifted
researching the effects
despite the cold of the season
colors amaze
as the afternoon light diminishes
night has given rise
to the temperature
as the wind has ceased
it’s steady movement
northwest in direction
silence has made the correction
thought the light is faded
at best flickering still
until it loses it’s charge...

flickers

the outside desk light
flickers like the fire light
and it’s not quite cold yet
still outside still expecting
absolutely anything at this point
sad news of a good friend
away from everyone
on his born day
hopefully he has a pen nearby
one thing he has is time
the fire can’t keep me warm
from way across the yard
this light won’t reach the page
if I go closer to the fire
have to find the compromise
blasting into the cooler
air all around…

Dad's born day

today is the day
my dad was born
one of my greatest
inspirations hard to find words
to express my love as
first born what courage
at a young age taking
on fatherhood and still the teacher
still the teacher
in retirement teaching now
to relax and enjoy the day
as it is
long walk or short
miss you when you are not here
back now here again
one of my closest friends
happy born day, dad…

illusion of choice

later than normal
thoughts once pouring
from the mind
reduced to a trickle
distracted by the politics
of the day and the coming
illusion of choice
can’t say either side
ever convinced me of anything
this year is not much
different except for the mouth
that will not be silenced
a constant middle finger
to the establishment
power structure
so in twenty days we shall see
if the established power
can be beat and if not
back to the deterioration
of what America once was
agendas that oppose each other
and will continue to shape
society into an apathetic
egalitarian nightmare
media screams
offended by words
ignoring actions
no matter how illegal
or lethal as they have been
later than usual
just trying to let
some of the air out
voice some reason
why is the pen all tongue tied
seeing all my mistakes
laid out before me to walk over
and leave behind…

grown up finally

twenty years ago
saw the world a lot
different than today
grown up finally
I think
most likely mistakes
to be made
with a different mind set
and an attitude so avoidance
of mistakes is more of
a high priority than ever before
twenty years building this
on which I stand lucky enough
heavy everyday
lifetime to lift it all
twenty years ago began
the journey I am today…

one more for KW

one for the mind
and a little balance
Kaleidoscope Wine
always said it
wonder where
know he would agree
based on Colorado Springs
conversations sixteen
year old memories now
raise this glass to the sky
as we did in the garden of
the gods one more for
the highest place ever traveled
one more for balance
and these thoughts on
Kaleidoscope Wine
left behind with
no rewind…

state of demoCrazy

state of the nation is crazy
so much talk and some
get their feelings hurt
only time will tell where
the truth actually lies
exposing all the lies
we have been taught
to understand as truth
will governments always
hide the truth to keep control 

no matter what flavor
government comes in
it’s how the powerful
control the rest
we are the rest and
have a quieter voice
among many and democracy
is majority rules so that’s
some of the truth of our
democracy and freedom
the bi-polar nation divided
over nearly every issue
except one common thread
of all Americans
we are NOT them
the politicians the controllers
the ones who have been lying
to a confused public
for fifty years at least
the state of the nation
is every kind of crazy
less than one month
until a historic election
and that is hoping that
something is real
and everything is not
predetermined by them…

without ink

almost a week
without ink
on the page
just like twenty-five
then fifty push ups
a day throw a few
punches at the air
no one should care
no one gets hurt when
I beat on the pages
with thoughts
and cut buds
from them trees...

all but done

cool night
g.ma back home
relaxing now
hoping to breathe easy
and rest well
ninety-two years
hard to even imagine
cool night alone
only because no one
else is going outside in the rain
papa in his chair probably
halfway through another book
mom keeping that watchful eye
over her mom did she imagine
nurses after retirement
papa ponders while
my mind wanders
it’s my sister’s born day
and brother is probably making dinner
in the tower no one more than
five minutes away
tight knit like the hat
might need it if it gets
any cooler tonight
September is all but done...

little more focus

spinning again
with a little more focus
a clarity watching
as far off things become reality
even if I can’t be directly involved
make my moves on my own
supposing someone wants
me on their team
open to that too
many thoughts
together get bunched
and spinning sideways again
don’t want to lose my spot
no matter what my weak points
might be strong points work harder
as it is evident when truth
is all around...

g.ma on the mind

don’t want to see her there
even though extra care given
those who know
she just turned ninety-two
and lives alone
hoping they let her go home
g.dad seen in a similar room
here one day gone the next
only memories remain
not ready to let go
of the last of that generation
the elders those who have seen so much
and no one truly feels better
until they get home...

notice the calm

fire glows off in the distance
watching the last of the flowers
in the garden reach for the sun
every day cool longer
and the nights will soon give way
to that crispy cold
feeling of fall
for tonight the fire burns
despite the run to humidity visit
master of riddles
used to be visits from
the Miz and JC
mainly han solo
in the stars of September
nights wars rage all around
most of them silent
some spilling over into
real world scenarios
simple fire here
will burn out
any rage and enjoy the relaxation
vibe created enough
for the master of riddles
to notice most everyone
who visits does notice the calm...

mis-perception

some seem to think
not so positive
sometimes expelling
the negative is better
than pretending
or holding it in
and sometimes
it really is non existent
invented and based
on someone’s mis-perception
of who I am
seem to think
getting up five days
a week to work before sunrise
is positive enough
seem to think
watching sunrise when clouds
allow it everyday
is positive enough
seem to think
being negative and alone
as I am would be impossible
without implosion
need to push on everyday
improve on the me
that I see through
these imperfect lenses
open / shut
breath in / breathe out
not a meditation
it’s the daily grind
positivity on the mind...

twice before sunrise

few days of the year
remember tomorrow as one
just want to behead the thought
before it happens
as it occurs revisit
and end it my way
better off a moment of silence
grateful that I survived
that dark chapter
cold hard stare tattooed in the brain
still miss the kids involved
close to grown up now
closer than the old bag
tied to maybe a little longer
maybe not some days will bring
a smile from a fond memory
not tomorrow instead fight off
the horrid thought
and behead that thought
twice before sunrise...

many years

told about a certain
special aspect of being
told by my father
one day inherit
the good fortune of family
enjoying forty plus years
now and then nice
to hear that the family
enjoys as much my company
as I do sit silent by the fire
with my dad the bond is tight
like the bricks on the fire-pit
circle of heat cooler night
nearly perfect three quarter moon
moves into view from behind the tree
it’s the one in the corner
hovering about the waterfall
the pond holds it’s position too
so much to get lost in
enjoyment used to be the neighborhood
baseball field used to have a tree house
and hours of fun even now
those memories still palpable
sitting in the new grass
cool air makes the grass seem wet
don’t even mind this is probably
the best I have felt in years...

never will forget

never will forget
what happened that morning
already awake
and to reality as well
didn’t believe the news then
skeptical to whatever
they presented
never will forget
the fear instilled
still know what they showed
and know what I thought
then not much different
from now after years
of reading and research
don’t believe any of the official
stories presented why would this one
be any different
surely America was attacked
and has been many times
it’s more on a level
that is not measurable
one of fear and control
people are actually starting to see
that those in power
those who have control
lie and lie and lie
and lie about lying
then lie some more
never forget that...

eve of 15 years ago

fifteen years ago
everything changed
as far as the history
being written daily in America
attacked and it’s been war
ever since still unsure
what actually happened
to bring three buildings
down in broad daylight
war from then on
why haven’t we learned
from the past mistakes
and wars that do not end...

pass too fast

days always pass too fast
right back to work
then the week passes
just as fast
return to a couple days
of rest thankfully
like doing my job
get through the morning
and enjoy my afternoons off
lucky to be out early
and get back to the patio
and the low hanging clouds
helps clear the way
for clear thinking
and focus on the most
important aspects of
the in and out breathing thing
we call life
days still pass too fast...

kinda like nothing

kinda like
nothing concluded
all over again
John Connolly was a good friend
wish we never lost touch
chess board collects dust
but we never played much anyway
stood beside me when I took
those vows I ended up breaking
kinda like nothing else
so much has changed
wish we could have caught up
back to the shadows though
shadow living always
suited him best...

sixty days

only about two months
until an important election
or so I would think
first black president
has done his time
didn’t have much hope
for his change looks
like race relations are worse
then ever imagined
in the current year
some still blind to the corruption
of the office itself most
want and continue war
Constitution has been reinterpreted
to be more politically correct
it supports all the right agendas
mostly on the left
and it’s only sad for those who
had real hope for the future
only about sixty days and maybe
she won’t make it
not as healthy as she lies about
last man standing for the truth
is probably the right man for the job
and it might sound crazy
but it’s only sixty days away...

dank night

entering hurricane season
or already there even if
none of them hit us head on
remember all of them
from years passed
always a name
remember Gloria when
I was eight
then Bob when I was 15
Gloria left a crater
in the woods when a tree
was completely uprooted
the hole was the size of a small car
but I was eight so the memory
might be exaggerated
somewhat foggy after a day
in the dank air all around
hurricane air quality
humid with a slight chill
hoping that properly describes
what it feels like on the page
and on my sweatshirt
got another on the way
because I always end up
wearing things out and I want
to have a back up
into the corner of the garden
filled with statues of angels
guarding and all it’s flowers
surviving one season after another...

out of sight

almost too dark
to write without
another light aside
from the screen
and the porch light
lights around the pond
and in the garden
come on as soon
as the sun is
out of sight..

quick thought

can’t describe
the feeling
as if floating
without a purpose
or one I cannot figure out
understand...

fire fades

most of us just pretend to know
and take another’s word
most of us have to operate
like this on some level
in order to get through the day
another step above most of us
don’t have time to figure out
how we really want to spend
the day we don’t pretend
and allow the self to rejoin
most of us already in progress
without end in sight focused
on a fire in the distance
most of us will go to bed early
to ensure proper rest
a full twenty-four extra
unexpected like the common cold
might stop me right where I stand
sit walk and sit again
new table new stones fire fades
in the distance...

open air office

open air to conduct
the business of life
seventy-four days
of hype before a supposed
choice open air office
it is the only way
to conduct business
living life gonna
sleep in for a change
tomorrow...

pull myself up

trying to pull myself up
despite the weariness
brought on by sudden
temperature changes
in the air all around
washed a pen with my clothes
luckily it didn’t open until
on the page below
creating spots like the 102nd
waiting to be picked up
in front of a fire station
somewhere in anytown, usa
beautiful two days
in the middle of the week
still can’t seem to clear the mind
when the cooler air arrives...

cross the river

can’t find the right words always
describing the feelings
and those thoughts
getting cross eyed looking
at the stones under foot
walking along on the ones
sticking up as I cross the river
still in my mind soon to be dreams
still no program or app created
to capture the reality of dreams
but I bet it’s been discussed
in a laboratory setting
how would we know what they
do from where we sit
what is it all about anyway
unknowns still in the current year
how is this possible
to the untrained eye
things look a little bit confusing
but steps back now
and take it a new look
different perspective...

into the darkness

into the darkness
waterfall will
put me to sleep
when I let it
cool night air
hope to encourage flowering
in the angel garden
next to all the vegetables
still producing tomatoes
for days or weeks
plenty for sauce when
we freeze the excess
into the darkness
don’t want to sleep
new pair of shoes
no where to go
into the darkness
as the night hides
all the day’s
imperfections...

necessary stones

lots of improvements
necessary stones
soon to be walked over
new paths made
where they may have
never been
lights above no idea
where they shine from
not even bothered
by the lack of information
lots of stories heard
and the imagination is
just as good as any possibly
better hard to tell from here
waterfall heard with low light
sparkling off of its flow
lots of improvements
in a short amount of time
necessary to keep
everything feeling refreshed
as the feeling while relaxing
in the garden under stars
enjoying the beginning
of so many improvements...

could it happen

could it happen
right before eyes
enough unrest
or another terror
attack put troops
on the city streets
indefinitely enough
unrest to cancel
or postpone the election
seventy-seven days away
could it happen
current president
still has power to declare
or use executive orders
to lay down martial law
and at some point
you might even start
to believe the news again
because it’s the current year
but it’s also nineteen eighty-four
and everything you may have thought
crazy just five years ago is
in your face louder than ever
any agenda
they tell you is socially just
only left as left has always been
don’t let the media convince you
that a criminal should be leader…

never enough rest

never enough rest
even after six days
without work back tomorrow
because only I stopped
everything else kept on going
all around watched a wall
go up and a patio
go down in two days
it’s the summer of change
in the backyard extend
the porch widen back steps
build a stone wall
put down an amazing
patio all in under
two months
never enough rest
even after vacation
but short week
will help me ease back into
the daily grind won’t
get pulled behind
working for someone else
but always for myself as well
only one looking out for me
is me with not enough rest...

waited anyway

probably not going
to make it
just can’t wait
any longer
as tiredness pulls
on the eyelids
but the mind is still going
want to watch the fullish
moon dance across the sky
sometimes the sounds
of a silent night are confusing
not easily proven what sounds
could actually be and
the eyelids still heavy
and moving downward
somehow still pushing
through another cloud
if I give it another five minutes
the bright circle in the sky
will emerge from behind the trees
and stray clouds moving quick
at the same time and in clear view
still awake appreciating
the true mystery…

blow a few clouds

could just put head to pillow
and be out for the night
instead blow a few clouds
and watch as the moon appears
up over the trees
can’t explain the inspiration
simply trying to understand
what can be and is
watch it nightly
not too busy with life
distracted by certain things
jobs and bills and taxes
but it can all melt away
momentarily like clouds of smoke
recognizing the thought
observation a part of time
not a rhyme book but a book
of thoughts just the same
could probably be asleep by now
regular everyday thoughts

keep the pen rolling on…

memory woods

three hours total road time
with only a little bit of traffic
return trip from memory lane
as it turns out found myself
missing the youth time
to see it now through older eyes
as it turns out a builder of happiness
on the solid foundation of
everything bringing me back
after twenty-five years
at least and it doesn’t feel like
two hundred miles away
back to reality now
smart enough to take a few
more days to rest and
appreciate my mom
on vacation in a place she loves
our family’s memory lane
as it turns out
still drinking coffee
closer to midnight
doesn’t seem possible
woke up in the woods of Maine
three hours away
memory woods
as it turns out...

start at the beginning

North Waterford, ME

back and forth between
what I should have done
and what has been accomplished
wonder a little how it might differ
had I started at the beginning
instead of beginning from the end
back in two thousand one
thought enough to drop it
again in two thousand three
it’s okay actually still able
to be exactly who I want to be
and then some
back to this childhood camping spot
so many visit from all over
New England and beyond
even saw some friends
knew only as children
who could have imagined
here now kids of their own
probably spoken of
thirty years ago
as a possibility at least
now idea then what now
would actually be
sitting in silence by the fire
midday meditation
some sort that no one might
understand if they even see
me here or think that far
across the dirt roads
criss-crossing through
the wooded hills by the pond
so many memories dug up
probably because the campground
is exactly how it was
all those years ago...

miles from home

North Waterford, ME

miles from home
only a couple hundred
not too far
sun is finally
burning through
a thin layer of persistent
clouds almost all day
don’t mind the solitude
being a couple hundred
miles from home
people all around
no one know my name
not much to say
nearly thirty years ago
came here as a kid
if I knew then
as I know now
should have come up
with a better plan
maybe would be so alone
right now but maybe
the solitude makes me
who I am
miles from home...

hot night ahead

an oppressive heat
pushing down from above
keep the energy level low
they call it vacation for a reason
not planning on doing any work
if I can help it
nearly one hundred
degree heat with some
intense humidity
hoping that makes sense
not complaining here
knowing as the sunlight fades
the cool air will relieve
some of the oppressiveness
thinking on a trip northward
only a couple days might
help clear the mind
woke early to the sound
of thunder tearing apart
the sky after midnight
worked through the day
with a surprise waiting
at the end
an extra day of vacation
elated and soon to be elevated
always reaching new heights
especially on vacation...

stone angels

three angels made
of stone while I try
to do the same
and it’s almost time
to sleep
the thoughts are not
racing in the wrong
direction as they could be
proving I learn from past
events and falls
that kept me behind
no more carelessness
mindful in nearly every move
even the habitual ones...

thought-over

trying to get outside
before the rain starts
get a few thoughts down
sitting under the light gray
with flowers and plants
all around trying to wake up
shouldn’t be too hard
neighbors mowing lawns
and cars moving about
the city heard much
earlier than now
last night inspiration
found on a random occasion
never go out anywhere
but brother made it sound
as good as it actually was
every time I go out
there is a glimmer of light
at the end of a long tunnel
of loneliness continue to push
through the thorny maze
make my way back
to the front desk
and tell them I want a table…

some things come full circle

might take twenty years
to meet again out of the blue
brother dinner with old friends
brother and sister team
you would never know
twenty years since
hard to imagine time flies
and never changes
actual speed what will
it ultimately take to bring
that focus to the mind
some things come full circle
without being cliché...

NOT with her

some would choose
the one who repeatedly lied
repeatedly supported
constant and unending war
regardless of public
opinion repeatedly encourages
political correctness
repeatedly supports agendas
that are completely opposed
to each other and sees nothing
wrong with this repeatedly lied
about why Americans were killed
in Benghazi and sadly there
exist those who would choose this one
hopefully not as many come
November she is NOT a smart choice…

perfectly elevated

perfect amount of light
brought a table up
still in the corner
won’t be up much later
as stars start to punch
through the darkening sky
small solar powered
night lights didn’t get enough
light to stay lit late night
they would after a bright day
perfect place to be
a vacation spot in the middle
of the city a get away out
the back door still need
to escape a bit each day
to keep a healthy balance
perfect to be surrounded by
daily each one an inspiration
to me personally
help me to know here
is the right place for me to be
and as thick as frustration
does get always worth it
to punch right through
and elevate above it all perfectly…

seriously, another porch

new addition to the collection
of porches that hold me when
and where I write
not that sun or earth importance
but a great new spot just the same
not as dark perfect low light
created low level
one floor higher than
the rest of the yard
fire can still be seen
and watched from
this new perch
ran out of coffee again
most would think it too late
now and then I agree
tonight properly
taking in the new addition
to surroundings
with pen in hand as
night dwindles...

like I never left

it’s easy to plan the day
nothing going on
either end gotta work
gotta sleep gotta eat
gotta shower
other than that
just hang in the yard
like bud on a branch
only wants to grow
there has got
to be somewhere
I would like to go
just not tonight
the only people I see
family and co-workers
which is more than
some I guess
still less than others
where do we all end up
when we have
nothing going on
right back here
like I never left…

20 years ago

twenty years ago
brought rebellious thoughts
times have changed
all of us or else everything
remains the same
still oppose the state
just oppose globalism
and world government
even more and the left
stands for the globalist
social agenda and that
is very dangerous to society
and the average American’s
way of life twenty years ago
we did not know the scope
of the corruption at the top
or at least I didn’t know
the depth of the corruption
running our everyday life
maybe not if we don’t let it
truth’s layers peel off
like an onion and
everything might be a lie...

still awake

somewhat tired
still awake
wondering through
the maze the garden
nightly illuminated
strategically placed
night lights lead
to a bench in every
corner and a porch
to overlook it all
still clawing at a new
book in the dark
scratch marks symbolize
the thoughts as rain drops
slowly start to wet
the back of the neck
and the breeze does nothing
cept blow the hot around…

TodayIsTheDay #15

another hot one
won’t melt the thought
clear sky
today is the day
looking forward to twenty-four
from now will be on a new porch
wet paint for tonight
brand new look combined
levels same foot print but
elevated
today is the day
forward thinking on elevation
with concentration
little hot humidity
lasts into the night
sweatshirt still necessary
because of mosquitoes
and their toughness
here in the shoe city
of champions...

when all is quiet

when all is quiet
and alone with thoughts
ideas drift and twist
like the smoke up into
the moving air cooler
finally string of humid days
snapped this morning
when sun came into view
over the thick tree cover
to the east amazing
what has been created
in a short amount of time
when all is quiet and alone
under the soon to be night sky
blue at the moment
soon to be star riddled sky
moon in view by 10
every twenty-five hours
watching it happen
as night is trying to explain
itself to me and I am here
to decipher and re-organize
idea as they arrive shortly
after the sun slips
from sight...

grab the pen

when they are all elsewhere
here I am in the garden
known by a few at one point
had more around more frequent
now mainly solo like a red cup
in the country song my brother-in-law
likes and I sit on a milk crate
with the day’s thoughts
haven’t designed an app
to capture thoughts yet
still have to pull them out
old school pen and page
at least that’s how I will
continue a slower process
no doubt about it
might always be the way
I do it when no one else
is around almost always
grab the pen...

search the maze for a clear mind to sleep on

one hit
as I hit one
of those patches
like walking through a bunch
of rose bushes
hard not to get
caught a couple times
or more
doesn't help
it's a maze
and for some reason I am
blindfolded
and alone
hit a wall of thorns
and I try to keep on walking
but I am hungry
and after
the pause to eat
would anyone
even know 'cept I put it all here
two hours later
sun starting to fade
out the heat bugs make
that heat bug noise
and not even sure what they
are actually called I could look
them up but I prefer to remember
them as heat bugs
not to mention
I never see them
only hear their sound
as the moon moves into view
over the tree in the corner
with the waterfall
and pond at it's base
although the thorns
will always surround
and I walk into thorny walls blindfolded
somehow just a little smoke
cleared the way
a clearer mind to sleep on...

smelling every flower

when stopping and looking
at everything that involves
me and my day
how could I complain at all
and I don't have a lot
but what I do have is more important
than any dream had or will have
everyday is important
watching the youngest
smelling every flower
stopping and looking at one thing
at a time and doesn't want to sleep
maybe she would miss something
luckily I will try to capture a thought or two
fire low now as the moon slowly
passes overhead wouldn't mind a ride
to fall asleep but don't have a driver
or trouble falling myself sometimes
only minutes until the mind
melts into pillows and sleep takes hold...

halo around the moon

there's a halo around the moon
spent most of the day
around the yard
saw the same sky
last night two nights
two fires change
in the air tomorrow
supposed to be
in the nineties
today was hot
without the south shore
humidity always a shady
spot somewhere around
the yard with the newest
section becoming
one of my new favorite spots
so many chairs
hard to choose just one
tonight the air
has become cool
and there is a halo
around the moon...

shattering dark clouds

the gray hangs in the air
above everyone and every
thing sounds of the city fair
and happiness mixed
with music and sirens
as long as
you don't turn on the news
the gray is only the clouded sky
turn on the news and
a bigger dark cloud appears
above it all
everyone of us caged by fear
if allowed to overcome
only answer truly
to be brighter than all
the dark clouds
and or never take the news
too seriously
there seems to be a high degree
of distraction covered in fear
maybe so criminal elements
of an elite run system stay hidden
behind the fearful headlines
determined to keep the infighting
at the highest level
cop shoots thug/innocent man
sniper/thug shoots cops
who could be right
in a fight someone else created
media/news says it's race relations
actually it's how the elite rich class
creating division using power/media
law/law enforcement shatter
the lower/middle/not rich classes...

walking backwards

walking backwards
through reality
it's 1984
stuck in a matrix style
world working wasting
the day forgetting the life
to be lived everything
has to be business
related reality puts
regular men at odds
with each other when
no matter what color
we are all controlled
we see up as down
because they tell us
war is peace
walking backwards
not allowing the reality
to actually set in until
it's too late
and nothing even
looks real...

through the wrongs I write

everything is sweating
humidity makes the air
heavier or at least
it's how it seems
back here behind the house
even the wooden deck
feels damp to torch or sit upon
finally out under the stars
moving the pen finally after
so many days stationary
next to another Tuesday night blaze
fire until I tire that's been
the conditional response
to the days off even though
ten hours worked
will surely rest later
when work is done
the right thing after years
gone wrong can't go back
or else we all might
makes the same mistakes again
instead keep moving
forward without a pause like a rebel
in eighties hip-hop only
the true heads will know
twenty-five years always
be real always have been
even through the wrongs
I write until the coals glow orange
dimming as clouds
of humidity descend...

now & beyond

another beautiful day
plenty of warmth
sun finally showed
it's face before it went
out west brother come to visit
and work around the yard
can hear him digging
from over here in the garden
he is building a ladder for
the rose bushes to climb
over the gateway to
the backyard
another beautiful night
ahead with so much
left behind
won't rewind
this time is only
now and beyond...

raining over there

drove maybe 5 minutes
westward to a store on
the other side of route 24
and it was pouring rain
sky half black half gray
got back home
car washed sun shining
drying as fast as the drive
back from the other side
dad says his spirit totem
is a butterfly and that's why
he dreams of all his dead relatives
it's probably true
but thankfully his dreams
are vivid enough like
memories alive on their own
what was in the other room
since mom woke him
was it his alarm
that began or ended the dream
at the end of sleep
all over again
right where we began
each day thoughts collected
driving out of the rain
and back into the sun...

update those who care

last the day
without a pause
even if frustrated
feeling lost cause
status update
for those that care
to notice the scent
in the air
summer time all around
girls smile wide
even in this cloud
filtered sunshine
tomorrow will be
another day in the life
of this loner
with a capitol L
if you like support
the cause
at least go see for yourself
no doubt without a pause
in the historical notes through
the eyes of mr. cynical
or mr. think-too-much
hashtag whatever
you want to find
in between thoughts
on the page
you know where to go
and so go
and come back often
still here only steps from
where I started darkness
has put the crops to rest
and the humidity
keeps everything
warm through the night...

stars in the garden

some people do deserve
what they get
including myself
of course not shying
away from misfortune
and loneliness
but knowing how I got here
more important than
how it makes me feel
reminded of things another forty
something might call embarrassing
instead I watch the summer
girls growing in the garden
all the plants grow really high
in the garden and not
embarrassed to join them for awhile
before sun sets behind the gray
and the fire pit glows
into the darkness maybe
sky will clear for a starlight view
if not I know where to look
to see them all...

cannot be trusted

they won't keep you
informed or even educated
closer to confused
and misinformed discovering
more on our own than
they would like us to know
and stand still we know
stationary ground roots below
life above unknown above life
admittedly fearless of the unknown
then they try to make us fear
our own potential
but we cannot fear the unknown
and from this learn they
cannot be trusted...

between St. Francis & the angels

a gray afternoon
without rain
still better than one
that keeps me indoors
rather be out in the garden
next to St. Francis & the angels
looking up and all around
at these signs of life and part of ours
sun burns a hole through the thin gray
seen in the reflection on the table
pole beans reaching high now
above the eight foot pole
its the growing time of year
everything in the garden
nice and green smoke rising from the corner
between St. Francis & the angels
where I sit inspired by the youngest
Ana seeing things others might
not notice but I cannot hide
as she finds me in my spot...

under the light rain in the garden

they all call him crazy as he sees and might
wander down a road of thought
off topic or out of reach for those ho do not think
through until the end but give up if the
equation is too much to handle
after careful scrutiny the
equation becomes pointless anyway
and what was it you saw
eventually it will make sense
build something real build something for you
a spot no one else claims put your
structure there and be who you are
which is more than those who are like the rest
has some one else told you how to be
no amount of instruction will teach me in
relation to that which I discover myself
to be the only
reality I want to know...

tired, almost dropped the pen

fire burns slow
but hot enough
to consume any and every
piece of wood placed there
before dark before flame
brought light only hours later
until hours later
now dark almost time
for the fullish moon
to rise up over the trees
first day of the season
solstice or whatever name used
and repeated like everything else
we think we know for ourselves
just books on shelves
but who flips pages now
in the days of swiping screens
and absorbing that weird blue glow
as if a small TV hand held smarter
then all of us could we even live
without them now what happens
if they all get shut off tomorrow
will be a day of much thought
spread out and theorized no doubt...

retrain the brain

trying to retrain the mind
to find something
to replace the need to inhale
the smoke only that holy smoke
will do and even that can become
vapor book seventy barely been
opened enough to get into
double digit pages and beyond
putting off the urge none rolled
and ready as they would be if I wasn't
trying to start biting my nails again
like I used to when I was nervous
no longer suffer that strange affliction
where do we go from here
where I sit built the fire before dinner
so it would be harder to talk myself
out of it later as I retrain the mind
to switch it up a bit
dad & brother at dinner
mom got more great news today
the family is tight
have to always realize how
important that is...