rewind to remember

rewind to playback

like an old cassette deck

until the tapes all broke

and there was nothing

left to hear rewind to find

where it all went wrong

what’s right still questioning

the night when everything

changed to force a separation…

rewind to a scene that somehow

makes the rest of this all

make sense which it won’t

and it doesn’t there is no reason

for things to have turned out

like this and eye can’t take

all the blame…

rewind and remember

words spoken in anger resonate

as they are rewound daily

almost by the hour

have had to remove myself

from the equation…

had no idea how

apparently I don’t need

to be upset to be hurt

and I know the decision

to stay away is mine

as well as can be

given the void created

knew sitting in that cell

my whole life had changed

just had no idea how…

knew madness would ensue

thought understanding would come next

lack of respect resulted in anger

and harsh words and hurtful thoughts

and seen as someone to be ashamed of…

not ashamed of what I have done

or become working hard day and night

to support the family I became a part of

but apparently blood is much thicker

than water no matter where it comes from

and new this well is as dry as a bone…

one month like ten minutes

haven’t even unpacked

don’t know where to call my home

lost my spot and some would

say I gave it up but I know

never did I give up for one moment

even when in another room

always put in another room

can’t stay close in separated space

creates the walls that are not easily

dismantled when absolutely necessary

no doubt about the depth of feeling

when one month feels like ten minutes

and still wish I would wake

in my bed next to a the one eye love

and all of this would have been

the worst dream possible

never even crossed my mind

that I would be here today…

sharp pieces

pain as if I did

something to deserve it

up late night wondering

if I made the right call

now complete silence

is eight days old

no end in sight

we all deserve to be happy

having to conclude I

was not the right one

happiness and togetherness

faded away

sad days counting

twenty nine

nearly a month apart

standing alone

with my broken heart

trying to remove pieces without

bleeding to death

somehow still living and moving

from moment to moment…

where is home?

mind out the window

seeing some flowers

catching all the suns light

trying to do the same

with new and different eyes

seeing the road ahead

as positive as can be

given the void created

space to let it all breathe

and try to understand

the cool breeze through

the bending trees

might never see that spot again

never got to say good bye

so many things undone

a life not finished uprooted

and blown apart scattered

in the cool breeze brought

to that place mind now out the window

seeing it from the outside in

for a moment a new clarity

as how eye was seen

as the cool breeze woke eye up

to a whole new world

some things will always change right

in the middle of everyday life

and nothing ever goes as planned

or hoped and tried until trying worked no more

no less than everyday

turned to night before

home could be reached…

same skies

beginning again out of necessity

alone looking to jah eye over stand

everything up to that point

out the weakness remove eye from

the equation no longer

see the same view

sit and think with different eyes

under the same skies…

ready for anything

standing alone again

on the water for the first time

see the sun rise

as it should be seen

now under the same stars

as one month ago

no one saw this coming

a rushing of emotion

while standing under stars

stronger alone finding quiet

much easier now

but nothing will quiet the mind

questioning every action

and reaction to cards dealt

have to be ready for anything…

mind confident battle scenes

painting the sky black

before the day ends

means and all in between

stuck in the mind

confident battle scenes

chaos confronted

sitting alone staring

at the wall knew at that moment

only the wind will tell you

that you are free

embrace that cool breeze

he always knew

but where were you

his arms touched each other

with nothing in between

singing some song with no voice

hated it before living on the water

understand simplicity again

finding again the strength

he knew he had but went unnoticed

distracted by his own quest for happiness

and in a position that did him no good

between feelings of intense love

embarrassment and distrust

a distance that could not be bridged

when needed most met with anger instead

writing the wrongs eye have been again

searching for happiness in the wrong direction

no one is going to write the book for you

you’ve got to put the words

you want

in it

for it to be you…

sit in it

rebuilding again

brick by brick

like the fireplace

had to leave it behind

dismantling what once

seemed strong

need to again find

that strength

and sit in it…