only a few words

even if only a few words
come out here and there
back to hear the sounds
of the city at night
when the 'go' of the day
becomes the 'slow' of tonight
time with my brother
valued time to share
what I have learned
and unlearned absorbing too
what he has each day
building and reconstructing it all
many lessons learned...

when we wake

no faith is real but somehow
I know faith is real
and as far as religion goes
they are probably all right
and at the same time I think
they are all wrong because
they think only they can be right
there is no room for others
to be correct as well
it's not something you can touch
it's not that kind of real but
being brought up in two generations
of faith I can completely respect
it's reality and know faith is real
learning though it can also be dangerous
because the collective mind
seems to stop questioning and learning
and the collective mind is governed
by ideas of other people
not their individual path to truth
connection to the unknown
the architect of all things natural
the song of the pre dawn birds
and until the sunset light vanishes
and the night lights illuminate
isn't it possible that the mind
and the thoughts and the dreams
observations can they be considered
communications with the unknown
the architect of all things natural
isn't it as possible that our own
individual ideas can be just as powerful
as those that call the people
to worship their idea and everyone
else is wrong what if none are wrong
and it's alright because none of us
will ever know or maybe we all know
and we realize it finally
when we wake up...

odd and out of place

not myself today
feeling odd and out of place
wishing for things
and I don't have the answers
only tripping over more questions
daily operation thinking about
my guru trying to find the time
to find him again but I don't
remember him leaving this time
seen new ideas come to light
these pages could fade
out and exposed for too long
under the thought that science
explains everything but logically
not everything makes sense
theories and laws connected
built on theories to create the laws
not quite myself today
feeling odd and out of place...

early drive

spent a lot of time
thinking this week
about the rest of my life
where I will end up
driving to work before
the sun shines
on this part of the world
watching first light
come into view
as if I hadn't ever seen it...

every drop of the night

moved so much wood today
for the backyard fireplace
probably an entire old fence
and a pile big enough to fill
a small dump truck
one wheelbarrow at a time
it was an old one
that my grandfather used to use
big metal wheel served it's purpose well
moved around a lot on days put aside
for rest and finally made it to the ocean
watched it move right to my feet
and then moved on took another drive
back and forth as I often do and some
will still reach out but very few still do
just being honest and even ones who shared
the same space sometime ago
nothing I did or didn't do just the way it is
everyone has their own ride to ride
time goes on and on with or without
any contact back here in the garden
as the sun sets on another weekend
of work no matter been doing it
long enough now to get through
to another orange sky sunset
off beyond eye reach the scent in the air
is fresh and clean beautifully grown and green
a dragon in the garden like a sponge
getting every drop of this night...

out in the garden

out in the garden
as the sun goes out of view
behind the trees
and under some trees of my own
watering all the vegetables
we will soon eat
out in the garden
finding and being peace
as if I never knew it before
never looking forward
to a week of hard work
at peace knowing it will
come and go that fast
just like the two days off
out in the garden
used to be a playground
for all the neighborhood kids
and now everyone is grown
and I have returned...

outrunning my past

find myself out running
my past and winning
the race but sometimes
a reminder will pass
as the day pushes on
conversation or person
not seen in sometime
memory flashes to early days
find myself pausing a moment
to absorb any positive remembered
thought brought then forgot again
find myself glad to be where I am
back where I started for the most part
back in the shoe city where champions
dwell some undiscovered
in the corner of some neighborhood
in the west meadow still wondering
who settled here first before it was built
forty years ago might even stay
another forty maybe missing a lot
without seeds of my own
to sit with at night
maybe balance for sight
these eyes with third eye focusing
more each day
opening doors behind walls
and under floors
outrunning my past...

wet the page

light mist on my neck
not enough to wet the page
as the ink won't stick
to a wet surface no matter how flat
the shifting ocean of thoughts
on the light above clouds
becoming dim now soon
darkness will take over again
soon an unconscious thought
will take over again
wishing I could take a pen
to dreamland some night
wondering if they are really
just left over day time
thoughts or so much more...

drive to the edge

drove forty-five minutes
just to get to the edge
see the waves just a few pictures
back through the narrow streets
to my spot near the woods
man made waterfall and pond
nature made stream and brook
well behind and they say
this area was all a big pond
and marshland or swamp
drove forty-five minutes
to get to the beach
a chance to smell the air
so different down there
third eye wide open
even squinting at the same time
taking it all in walking along
and back foot prints will be gone
by the time I reach my car
there was no sun only light gray sky
to contrast the blue green ocean waves
drove forty-five minutes for that sea breeze
clear the head at the ocean's edge
looking every direction and up
above this flat back staring
as the clouds begin to leak
and drive home with buckets of rain
more thoughts on the brain
drove forty-five minutes
to take a look out over the Atlantic...

virtual digital technological

don't know what to do
with these tears not my own
those around those closest
sister then brother
one day then another
emotion so strong is pours out
strange feeling remember
when Carl died
before that when Nana died
sadness pours out as tears
otherwise pretty numb
no one left to disappoint
with these successes of thought
infected pen poisoning page
after page putting books
on virtual shelves in digital libraries
in this technological age
what else is a thinker to do
who knows what is to come
as the days stack up
how much longer
no use crying usually
unless it is just for
the emotional release...

spinning while standing

waking before the sun
rises above me spinning
as I am standing still
is the feeling I get
looking to the pre-dawn sky
three star belt watched since
childhood same street same yard
didn't notice as much then
didn't appreciate enough
waking before the sun
reaches where work calls
answer all but two days a week
toss up between sleeping in to rest
and getting up early without alarm
and drive east to the sunrise
stopping before the bridge
taking the walk
planting myself in the sand
only staying until the sun
fully emerges from a distance
out over the calm ocean sway...

sense in random

everyone is saying something
trying to hear them all sometimes
confusion surely follows
all day trying to work harder
earn my keep
whatever that means
make enough to not be a burden
on anyone known
then the unknown looms
what do they all think
want to know
it's why this pen moves so much
thought to stimulate thought
and bring about more thought
where will you land
from where it is written
still sitting making sense of the random
even when it doesn't
what's the purpose of the class
that remains in the middle
a life as random as any
and many will keep on talking
might just be walking
right on by...

playground of relaxation

as a kid
this backyard
was a playground
and now
it is a tranquil spot
unwinding here
releasing the day
into the air
watching the sun diminish
light still remains subtle
and when night arrives
it prepares me
for a restful sleep
no matter what
the day can bring...

sleep well tonight

thoughts on freedom
the mind escapes
walks without walls
and cement halls
sleep tonight
most likely the best
in nine months
thoughts on freedom
the mind wanders
far from my own cage
the door is open
theoretically...

full forty

full forty ironically
on the same page
feeling XL for a day
sun and clear skies
same ones looked to as a child
seems impossible in this
ever moving infinite space
feeling the breeze
on the back of the neck
without a hood for tonight
sitting in the hood tonight
meditating on a full forty
a new beginning
some might say
and words I hear
as each new day approaches
closer to another thought
a full forty and beyond
stretching as far as the eyes
can view outward
and eventually inward too...

stay silent

being alone
not being lonely
walking a tightrope
balancing
high above reality
both can be ignored
neither seem to want
to stay silent
not as bad as it may seem
still a balancing act
positivity as my focus
even though it will get blurry...

respect the quiet

respect the quiet of the night
the warm day produces
a chill in the air
once the sun is out of sight
respect of the thoughts of the day
as they climb down my shoulders
eight floors above still see
what we all see maybe not looking
in the same way a little higher up
see a little more of what there is to seen
wonder when everyone will figure it out
respect the knowledge I have yet to find
learning daily on a curve I have never seen
but still respect the knowledge found
and learned along the way
questioning everything
and respecting all that deserves respect
and uncovering the lies taught
re-taught time and again
makes me respectfully question everything...

this type of message

can't stand this type of message
“alcohol is ruining my life
man, I can't lay off
and it's gonna end in tears...
in a bad way”
seriously if you are saying this
it's already that bad
can't say I have been there
won't say I have not felt hopeless
the pen keeps me tame
the herb keeps me sane
can't stand this type of message
sitting in disbelief at the shit
that tends to follow
that first message
have we been here before
what's it gonna take
the kind of message
that nearly asks for help
then leaves me hanging
hours then days
would be weeks
if I don't check back
and then all is well
wonder why I
can't stand this type of message...

full glass

another glass full
the best kind if you ask me
but will you
right here in front of you
without any fear
nothing separates the sky
from where I lie flat back
staring at the night
lights staring back at me
until they move out of view
looking straight up as far as
eyes take me up floating
and taking notes
when I am back
down to earth...

that's funny

rather have the smoke in my eyes
then that poison that so many take
always regretted even a splash
nothing ever tasted good enough
to have more than one sip
sometimes don't even like the taste
must be changing again
like when I switch pens because
this one is too skinny
and the next one doesn't write as smooth
can't win tonight with the penning of thought
if I can't find the right pen
to write might just go back
to the fountain
had it in my youth
and somehow that is funny...

moonlit trees

the moon arrives into view
inching into the observable sky
it will cast shadows
with its night light
blue gray unlike daylight
corner of the room
still crash into the walls
clumsy in sleep
outside now waiting for the moon
to move closer overhead
some things are wondered about
more than others
might get lost in a TV show
but I get lost in the sounds of tonight...

here and I am

minutes turn into smoke
the mirror is not clean
and won't reflect realistically
speaking it's only what we see
and how we perceive objects
and subjects too deep
silence granted wishes allowed
to float and wake in another
reality is only what we see
might not be shown the same
or received similar situations
don't bring about static responses
to letters and calls and whatever
technology throws at us next
time be ready for any and everything
swirls together over the head like smoke
out the negative will only survive
if given the strength to rise above
and float to escape and regroup
outside the shiny little boxes
never fit any collection
larger than ever imagined
myself here
and I am...

sinking state

some might call it
end times or
the breakdown of society
it is also an opportunity
to see the destructive nature
of the state
more laws less freedom
everyone becomes a law breaker
just living life and trying to be
every situation is different
unless it happens nearby
we only hear what the state
wants the public to know
over zealous over brutal
over stepping every boundary
law enforcement has become
a problem itself killing monthly
if not more frequent
and the protests always start peaceful
until those ready for riots show up
over zealous over protected
street invading 'peace-keepers??'
how can the solution and the problem
be the same entity
overly powerful seemingly unavoidable state
and it's power enforcers
but we have to have government
is what one will constantly encounter
in the mind and opinion of those around
it also proves exactly what to govern means
to control the collective mind of all of humanity
and sadly it needs to be seen
and resisted even if participation happens to be necessary
in order to break the chains
upon the chains around the individual mind
putting down this random thought because
it is not approved or supported
or presented with force
just read relax and realize
these aren't end times
time to wake up and live
these are our times to move beyond
the limits the state will set up for society
tell us we might not be able to be as free
as we feel we should be
for our own protection of course
but it is twenty fifteen and why do we
accept the state limitations
and obey ridiculousness
just to get by daily
under the threat of force
off track and random
just thoughts with the pen
outside tonight...

recognize relaxation

floating all day
above it all trying
to just float moving
only a fraction
of the usual daily motion
sun disappears beyond
the horizon lights on out back
sounds of the night the only company
battling the darkness with many lights
sat with the youngest
and watched her just breathe
heard her drifting into comfort
nearly an hour undisturbed
enjoyed the smile before the rest
taken with youngest member
of the family communicating
without words
recognize relaxation every time...

have a good one

sun brightens the page
approaching that age
brings about total change
something real probably strange
not pretending to know
just willing to go
and challenge everything
sun breaks clouds and lights everything
rays breaking in at angles through the haze
not really haze and my mind becomes a maze
scrambled running from the moment I wake
memory of unconsciousness time can't take
or remember or forget the thought free
somehow awake I no longer see
but I do know the longer I see awake
the more powerful the waves will wake
beneath sleep and above logic where
freedom lives and I just have to care
what's left behind
what truth is left to find
hidden in plane view for all to see right here
taught to doubt our own logic
because of ignorance and fear
it's the controlling device of the day for the people
do you believe we need to be controlled
c'mon people?
sun brightens my day I choose to have a good one
and when I leave the scene you might hear
have a good one...

in the dream

rational and logical
thoughts but willing to dream
and live why not as a dream
things might reveal
themselves differently
each moment a dream
but rationally and logically
approaching can't be blind
to the oppressors of the day
but can't be afraid of the day
because it's all a dream
you will wake up
we all will wake up
in our own way
with our own freedom
in our own dream...