Tuesday, January 31, 2017

fading surrounded by love

she is fading
and it’s sad to watch
my mother by her side
every night
we really have no idea
what is next
and that is undoubtedly
the scariest part
of the entire process
the last in our family
of her generation
she is fading
and I can only hope
her husband
of fifty plus years
is waiting for her on
the other side
in some form
everyone feels different
as we watch
the process unfold
everyone of us remembers her
in different ways
I am the oldest grandchild
and she said my name
two days ago
in response to a kiss on her forehead
she is fading
surrounded by love...

Thursday, January 26, 2017

twenty minutes

four strains
one cone
twenty minutes
listening to the rain
twenty minutes back
the sun was just finished
drying the rain soaked porch
from earlier in the day
gloomy all but
twenty minutes of today...

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

eternal sleep

crazy times for sure
watching gMa’s last days
wishing she could see
the newest member
arrive before April
highly unlikely
judging from the passed
week’s decline but
she has enjoyed ninety-two years
and she is ready to join
her husband on the other side
wherever we might end up
after this life is over
crazy times as we all
share different beliefs
no idea what happens
after this life ends
I do know when I sleep
my mind continues
without my control
and although I do not
always understand my dreams
or lack of dreams
I tend to view death
as an eternal sleep...

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

powerful insights

finally starting to see
the powerful insights it can bring
how quickly it turns
a headache into the past tense
and don’t remember how you
got to the chair still comfortably
aware enough to rest and enjoy
hard to believe it has taken
so many this long to discover
but still glad many have come
along for the ride
back into the mind
for a look into what life is all about
from the inside out
learning myself daily
soon to be producing more
than just the 9-5
which is 4-12 for me
only I would notice that
cold enough for the winter hat
and hood glad it came as rain
instead of being snow and all
it could have been
inside cooking with RSO
healthy medicated butter
what do ya know...

Friday, January 20, 2017

Political Thoughts - new boss

the ceremony is over
oath taken and promises
made to the nation
something different
the new boss
leading the nation
for the people
and plenty did protest
and it changed nothing
hopefully a calm will settle
or maybe things will be
business as usual
new boss just like the old boss
maybe nothing will change
and we will see that rulers
just rule and say what they need
to say to get to their power position
or maybe will be surprised
by the new boss of the nation...

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

minor details

almost too big
too much space
to spread thoughts on
but it doesn’t stop me
from playing on
without a sport to follow
trying to instead
unravel the truth
today’s technology
allows us library size
knowledge at our fingertips
at any time almost too big
to catch all the minor details
of the day that makes it
specifically today and
different somehow from
yesterday and tomorrow
no one thinks like this
most of the time hear them say
almost too big but I don’t mind
a challenge to better the self...

Political Thoughts - 3 days out

three days from now
a new era will begin
and for at least the next 4
a successful business man
will be the president of the US
from the moment he announced
he was going to run, and win
the power structure
already in place
has done everything they can
to prevent his confidence
and nationalistic ideals
from catching on
fever pitched spreading
like a cold in an elementary school
the mainstream media
did everything it could
to derail the train of thought
trying to bring about a change
that neither side of the political
coin wanted and after all
everyone threw his way
he still won and in three days
he will take his spot in history
as number 45
and truth be told
I have never had much respect
for the system in place
but know from research
that it would probably easier to change
from within
and it seemed hopeless because
both sides have been compromised
more than 30 years now
and I never had much hope
that the government
was going to help me
live out my dreams
and I do not think it is
the job of any government
younger days I bought
the line left of center
thinking social justice
was a viable answer
to the state question
do we even need a state
and protested the UN
in 96 and in 1997
protested the cozy relationship
with the Communist Chinese government
protested the war in Afghanistan
and the war in Iraq
an never liked or voted for GWB
nine eleven 2001 left more questions
than answers and I never believed
the official story never believe
any story said to be the official one
research on my own learning
and unlearning at the same time
in a search for truth
that will not end in 3 days
with the changing of the figurehead
leading the US for the next
4 years at least...

not, nothing

counted twenty high
planes crisscrossing the sky
all afternoon yesterday
every one of them
leaving a straight line
trail white gray in color
each one of them spreading
across the clearest sky
seen in days
it’s probably nothing
is what I always hear
when I point it out to others
but what if by the slightest chance
it is something we can clearly see
what it is because it’s
obviously not nothing...

really just ramble

most of the time being alone
is not a big deal
sometimes it is rough
but most of the time
it’s easier based
completely on my own
experiences that should be
obvious and I really shouldn’t be
so redundant wearing gloves
as I write because I still have yet
to put down the smoke
and I do not blow smoke indoors
most of the time
I do not torture myself with too much
cold done that for many years
shaving away the hair that grows
but always wear a hat anyway
never minded the cold
always just prepared for it
and rarely complain about it
even when it becomes unbearable
by then spring is only weeks away
most of the time I really just ramble...

5 am moon & starlight

the table has ice
crystals all over the surface
and one by one they turn
to wet spots soon dried by
the creeping sun coming
overhead from behind the trees
and warms everything
enough to be a peaceful
wind free winter day
hoping to end the day
with the same clear skies
and the same stars
that met me in the back yard
earlier before dawn
everything had a frosty
coating couldn’t find a spot
to sit just wandered around
the back yard
the only light was the moon
and stars...

Sunday, January 15, 2017

cold as expected

cold is back again
but it’s winter
and it is expected, no?
nowhere to escape
if outside
it’s where I blow my smoke
so cold I will be again
but it’s winter
so I dress for the chill
sitting so still
hidden from any wind today
found a spot trying to
fill up the end of this book
before onto the next
historically speaking
coming up on another milestone
soon if they are kept track
of like laps in a race
only it seems as if I am running
backwards at times
if it is January
it is expected to be cold...

Thursday, January 12, 2017

warm afternoon

another warm afternoon
watching the dawn of the moon
last night as it disappeared
into the clouds
and hope to see it again
tonight but the clouds
but the clouds have started
to mount up earlier than
twenty-five hours ago
another warm afternoon
but how long before the cold returns
because we know it will
all we can do is soak up
the warmth and not waste time
wondering if it would work
just build it and they will
grow especially inspired by
the warm afternoon...

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

this pen

probably not
going to make it
to the end of this book
tonight
but every now
and then I surprise
myself with
the amount of thought
that comes from
this pen…

30 minute thought

it’s not as if I am tearing them out
just filling them up one by one
some days its ten to one
very rarely skipping days
rocks maybe
never with my feet steady
stomping new boots and all
every three or four years
have to protect these feet
been on them for over forty years
it’s the least I can do
guessing there are plenty of steps
to take or not take
as the case may be
one I can’t carry alone
but I will drag it
if I have to move
anywhere it will probably
be up not quite the tower
where I once sat
but possibility only above
where I rest my head now
and again I could be wrong
direction driving myself crazy
because even though I work
for someone else I still
want to do a good job…

nine days left

nine days until
number forty-five
takes the reigns of power
question remains
will he be any different
will he be the one
everyone hates the most
or could he possibly be one
who exposes the system
for the corrupt control
device put in place
to do exactly that
we will always be pawns
unless we just detach
and try our best to live
our lives for us and
those who are closest
left or right
neither is right
and most times they are both
dangerously close to flat
out wrong by every
measurement...

watching overhead

watching overhead
ten years or more
wondering what is going
on with the planes
no one I know can answer
none of us know
and I do not know any pilots
in less than 3 hours
there have been 6 planes
same direction same high altitude
white straight line of cloud
behind a white plane
two more last five minutes
opposite direction
same height same details
as the previous six
so many years back
started snapping pictures
and now it is easier
everyone having cameras
on their phones
to stop and snap a few
pictures and maybe
it is for our own good
but I prefer to make
my own choices
good or bad...

pondering wind and wood

standing on this porch
at this moment in time
no stranger than any other
just as strange as each
and everyone the sun highlights
the melting snow
and can be blinding
if stared at for too long
sitting on top of a wooden structure
on a wooden chair
writing at a wooden table
noticing how all of it is
sturdy in the wind
simultaneously watching
all the trees bend
and sway in the wind...

much to learn

do not know
how it could work
being so far away
at this moment
never had the luck
necessary to make it
strong enough to it last
even close by
dawn brings light
renewed daily
and the stars right
before dawn are always
the brightest
somehow I find the warmth
in those facts alone
knowing there is still
much to learn...

loud birds behind

just like that
the sun is back this morning
it’s causing quite an uproar
in the bird community
behind my spot
probably not anything
too bad they must be excited
for the warm window
today brings to the winter life
these birds don’t leave the area
for long at all when cold weather
arrives just like that
two days ago blizzard warning
and it being the first snow
of a new year and everyone forgot
that they don’t need to freak out
and just like that in 48 hours
most of the snow is gone
made this morning’s sun
feel so good after days of single
digit temperatures
most likely it won’t last
but why would we expect it to
it’s okay though I don’t mind
winter because just like that
it will be gone as spring
arrives again...

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

moves like it does

never been hard
for me to believe
it’s the current year
just hard to believe
how many have actually passed
beneath this hand
moving as if it had
somewhere to go
and even if it doesn’t
it moves like it does...

few more months

it had to snap like
a streak of cold days
and then some rain
and warmer weather
six days away from
the pen and page
after thirty plus days
without fail
it had to snap like
the rubber band beyond
it’s furthest reach
all of the snow is starting
to melt quick as if the rain
needs help it’s only January
chances are snow will be around awhile
back to the little green table
on the small green porch
overlooking the little green
poking through the snow
in a couple spots on the lawn
most likely covered
for a few more months...

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

rightly so

twenty minutes late
doesn’t matter
as much as getting
it done as the sun
light fades the house
faces in that same
direction as it goes everyday
trash by the sidewalk
to be picked up tomorrow
notice the sunset sky
will be up before
the sun comes into view
even on the off days
twenty minutes before
sun breaks through
those winter skeleton trees
to the east awake in the cold
fighting one off at the same time
place importance on fulfilling
a twenty year old dream
and rightly so...

fighting to feel better

fighting off the feeling
of sickness and using
the day to rest actually
able to notice the longer
day as sun emerges
for a second time today
being out on the porch
at this time daily allows
me to track the position
of the sun still trying to fight
fatigue at every angle
from sunrise to sunset
it’s a severe heaviness
maybe brought on by the rain
it seems necessary to lie
down to regain some strength
back to the early grind
in the morning hopefully
it passes fast like it usually
does for now enjoying
the sun shining on the small pond
in the corner of the yard
gives me the energy and the motivation
to fight harder to feel better...

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

they might, I say

back to the front porch
only dry spot to find
with some light
using my knee
as a desk new hat in the mail
coast to coast three days
what a deal
back to the front porch
coffee and some smoke
join me here creating
written content for
the current year
because someone has
to keep track of the thoughts
won’t stop might as well
put them down hope
someone sees me here
knowing they won’t
says everyone I know
but they might
I say...

Sunday, January 1, 2017

new year determination

determined to make
a personal impact
in this new and soon to be
current year a new book of
random but organized thoughts
not going to let the night go by
idle without putting it down
for someone in the future
to see this is where the poetry
hides in the idle moments
of the working man life style
twisted at the ends
to keep it neatly packed
getting full like the winter
wool grown despite the white spots
some call gray and still others silver
but they look white in the mirror
determined to see clearer in the new year
soon to be current only new for about
a week then current returns
to regularity but I remain
determined to make
these words relevant...

no other choice

great day to be
first of the year
no other choice
supposing the calendar
won’t lie
great day to be
home with the family
on the first of the year
no other choice
time pauses for no one
ten years since the biggest
wrong choice made
never again be that blind
not seeing the entire picture
only the parts that look good
and seem to be exactly what I
needed wanted etc.
but it was all a lie
and so very wrong
from the first moment...

dreams to reality

the thoughts are like
bubbles in the water
and grains on a beach
stars in the night sky
so many existing all at once
hard to hold onto something
solid as the ground beneath
some thoughts are so short
they stand out from the rest
gained from a day off from
work need to begin work
on the permanent home
for a perpetual garden
the thoughts won’t stop
enough to consider
it a dream that needs
to become a reality…

new year's sun

last night’s rain
and wind brought
a new year just
as expected
but the blue sky
and the sun
this morning
warming still
at forty degrees
a new day dawns
and I always
think of her too
far from here
connected by the stars...