worth every minute

always a little hesitant
but shouldn't be
put it all out there
enough times to know
each time hoping
more eyes might see
no need to get all the riches
just get noticed quick
someday might be a high hope
itself a steep hill
and the final days before release
it's a day long project
and then some but
worth every minute...

blind to reality

really gotta weigh in
on violence not believing
any of it is necessary let's
start from the very beginning though
another citizen dies in police custody
then the media swoops in
peaceful non violent protests and marches
don't get the same attention that riots do
so the thousands marching in peace go
virtually ignored police even respect those
who respect the peace and that too is ignored
how does the situation go from peaceful
to violent why did the police get into
riot gear before there was even a riot
shields helmets and tear gas don't work
as well as one might think
especially when the mayor admitted
they gave rioters room to destroy things
police weren't protecting people
but certain private properties and the police station
media still not happy without there fires
and a whole bunch of race hate
the problem I seem to see is the brutality
of the force used by the state protectors
the police and yet again it is turned
into a race thing even though they
let it get out of control so they can be the solution
the media manipulates viewers to take sides
fighting each other with opinions
while the national guard is called in
then martial law runs the streets
I only believe in self defense because aggression
only leads to more aggression and tension and
hatred and irrational reactions
gotta step back and see the big picture
and when the situation starts to repeat
in city after city
with the same script
same reaction same solution
and those who get punished
never seem to get what they deserve
more police and more police
gotta wonder why everyone
seems to be blind to this reality...

a pen and a page

one day I am going
to try not to speak
for the entire day
and see if it changes anything
still sit with a pen and write
with a pen in a book
probably be quicker to speak
it into the android
and watch it become text
who would have thought
a pen and a page would be
old school style...

up over that hill

two weeks left
until a day everyone
seems to dread
on the other hand
desire to feel as though
it's only another
beginning
powering out over the hill
and right across the field
to the horizon
two weeks won't change much
except the number
enter into a new decade
of living some say the number
represents perseverance
still others say its when the soul wakes up
the shaken soul stirs within and anticipating
a meeting with the mind
it prepares for an encounter
two weeks from now I will thank my mom
for loving me so much
try daily but in case I forget
remember the day again in two weeks for her
genes and hard work gave me this mind
reinventing itself questioning itself
reaching to find the understanding within the self
the mission to continue up over that hill
and reach out endlessly putting down words
faster than the pen can write
even if I am wrong...

five years in either direction

what do you think the next
five years will look like
look back at the last five
and see how much everything
has changed how different
trying to peddle thoughts
because it's what I am here to do
assemble thoughts from
my history
and put out volumes
for mental consumption
minimal cost and hopefully an exercise
in thought breaking free from
the routine momentary but still free for a few
letting thoughts pass on through
if you take the time to chill
here I am bouncing thoughts off of you
if you want to write back you should
while I look at the last five years
so thankful for the changes achieved
and hopeful in the potential
for the next five years of change
that will challenge me and yeah
I am all over the place today
compared to yesterday warm with sunshine
now chilled and cloudy ever look
to your hands and just wonder...

thought between rooms

half as much as I would like to be is
twice as much as I am
so I have a lot to accomplish
think it came to me standing
without pen in hand
stored just a moment
and a thought not entirely connected
to anything like a stray thought
came to me moving between rooms
seems like every night
finding a different place to sit
find a different light to use
illuminating ideas onto pages
told the kids to question everything
that they cannot prove themselves
maybe I am wrong still believe
telling them the truth is the best option
and of course only my opinion
but be one in one million
whatever that might mean to them standing
in the kitchen where I grew up
except completely different now
it might be more about being aware
and using logic and reason
still I might be wrong
not exactly a shining example of a success story
unless success is doing what I want
follow the wooden path or brick or blaze my own
asking questions the entire journey
wherever it leads the mind
take it further and farther if I let it go
realizing what remains
after all have settled in
the only one left awake...

end the thought

most of the time I can't
keep up with the thoughts
in the head spinning as my clothes do
in the dryer blowing out steam
as I do with these words don't even
know how I have filled all these books
and keep on moving newer thoughts entering
and of course some will never take the time
to read and review and remember it's still
just my pen and I battling it out
page after page riding out the day
light dream sequence while fully conscious
of all the sounds are focusing on that closed
eyes light leftover until it's gone suddenly
sleeping only a couple hours of rest
return fully recharged ready to blast off
see how high I can rise awake or asleep
keeping an eye on the vanishing point
as it rises with me and suddenly none of it
makes sense anymore most of the time I will
end the thought right there...

his new black hat

my new black hat
isn't even black
it's gray the black ones
are all older
simply an example
of the random nature
the way things in my mind
go down when simply
putting the pen down
and letting it go
making a go of it
whether it works or not
must be a matter of time
something about watching
a bee emerge from under some wood
once the sun dried it out
long enough and nothing to do
with the black wool on the head
but brought smiles all around
no one else asking how
I might spend the rest of my day
wishing only to finish another
hoping someone will find something
here and then it spreads like warmth of the sun
the wind picks up the hood on my shoulders
didn't even need the sweatshirt an hour ago
too bad that work takes up so much time
need more time to enjoy all these

moments
today the thought
of a new black hat made me smile...

behind what's accepted

leaves stacked up then pressed
under snow flattened by weight
and time revealed with high temperature
expanding allowing new life to form
beneath leaves and a vine climbing
up the tree held on kept most of their green
all through the winter
wishing like I that spring would finally spring
some warmer air
just taking it all in and my mind never stops
used to do this even more often
never stopped but slowed down a lot
for a long time coming back now
pen holder mover now questioning
the motive behind the accepted thoughts
vs. the imagined ones
and where do you go from there
here I am thinking...

it was a pond

before it was this yard and house
it was undeveloped
apparently that means our family
was the first to live in this spot
going back a couple hundred years
some say this was wetlands
part of an enormous lake or pond
depending on who you talk to
going back a couple hundred years
means the previous inhabitants
might well have been original settlers
or even indigenous people
their land became this neighborhood
in this new england city
every map I can find as old as I can find
show this neighborhood as a pond
or undeveloped wetlands
sitting now enjoying the spring sounds
in the small woods surrounded by city
registering this moment
as a moment in the collection I am building...

stand alone at night

stand alone outside
sun out of sight
night lights shine from above
since younger years
learned Orion's belt
three stars and since then
I can always identify them
remembered like my own name
enjoying the colored sky
turning to black
then the night lights show themselves
hard to imagine so far from eyes
still right there and an hour passes
they move a bit staying together
of course right before eyes
stand alone at night
no one to doubt what you see
and tell you another story
tell you this random life
is unimportant in the broad scheme
stand alone at night and recognize
the importance of that moment
in the history of everything
that has ever happened...

find the vault

still too cold really
to be sitting in the wind
trying still to get through
this volume of thoughts
for the future unsure
as to where I will leave the vault
you will be among the first to know
layered up like it's February
and all the snow is laughable now
they say we broke hundred year old
records for snowfall
what a feet as they say
watching the water over rocks
constant sound now
wishing the chill be gone...