an hour behind

about an hour behind

schedule an appointment

made me embarrassed

to be standing still

reached for something

to keep me standing

not far from falling

like rain from sky

bricks from a tower

too close to the sky

to keep me straight narrow

path from there to now

need to harness all the energy

possible to blast these poetics

into some sort of freedom

it's available you have

to harness the energy

and concentrate the mind

relax with patience

the body will repair itself

let it breathe

an hour behind

might truly cause some confusion

down the road a bit...

nothing concluded 159

how many days without

a thought as to where

this might take him how many

nights until the saga complete

how many days

before he makes it up

ten stairs to type and

how many nights alone

honest connection made

hold on eternal if he can

how many days without

a thought on the direction

headed nothing concluded

as if it is nineteen ninety-six

all over again

how many days and how many thoughts

have really changed before eyes

with no tears and how many potholes

need to be filled like these poor lungs

with smoke

how many nights will this body

put up with the cough

and the strain as a serial poet

writing thinker or thinking writer

someone with a lot on the mind

nothing concluded

as if he is still twenty-one

in my mind pass me

the bottle and don't mind the smoke

can always count my friends

on one hand

leaving the other one

free to do this

nothing concluded

even if it ends someday

how many

right about now

nothing that predictable

will do there must be

something left to say

someday it could be

considered epic for now

and until the death

just my serial

nothing concluded...

south of 33

another night but the moon has yet to rise

above the darkened street

when will they update the satellite image

three tremendous trees have fallen

one controlled one caused no damage at all

another night head down on the pool table

turned into a desk for the winter months

doesn't have to wear shoes and a jacket

another night head aches

all around water instead of caffeine tonight

sitting in a pile of his own thought

both new and old

random but completely organized

as well should be a scattered mess

of a mind somehow he still

the late night boat ride

south of 33 the river runs

below the street and feed the enormous tree

planted in a bed of moss

creeping closer each year

to the back door

another night with an electric heater

at his feet and can't get the plumber

to finish the job paid for

never-mind more heat down below

south of 33 came one time

to gather things left behind

doesn't realize the torture

chamber he could create

in all this space created junk pile

another night of frustration

knowing the saying heard once

that failure is merely

practice for success...

nothing concluded 158

last name begins with an L

so it's only right

that eye light up the night

nothing concluded

just means when one's done

move on to another one

unfortunately

someone sleeps

high above

and he thinks below

trying hard to not

be offended by

the poems no one reads

even when given as

gifts of thoughts

nothing concluded

the song eye will sing

until no more ink from pen

breath from lungs

late night session

smoking out all

the days impurities

bet it's close to midnight

falling down

feels like only five minutes...

nothing concluded 157

once so random journal

takes on a voice

of it's own no dread

left on top

back from the beginning

as good a place

as any to begin

again over twice

as fast as when it's

warm to the bone

quite the opposite from

how the saying goes

then again

everyone fell for the lie

down into the pit

where nothing is even

noticed never mind concluded

the same place

where the dog somehow

finds some rest

he grinds his teeth

and has resorted

to long nights

on the back porch

alone with so much thought

very little to say

the sound of rain

can be heard out the window

another silent night

nothing concluded

as if December

and every one is Christian

do they even know

what they believe

inside out searching

nothing concluded

ten ten

oh five

need to stop

using the crutch...

a triangular hour approaches

just to make a point
he'll walk away with his head in the air
pulled through the water at times
ending up with more smoke
than intended and darkness takes over
earlier than any day yet
the rain soaked afternoon
twisted the five o'clock sky
a little pink a little orange
around the triangular hour
talks of darkness overcome
with the grim reality this night
would bring if it could but
it exists only as the background
for all experiences

just to make a point
he will stick out his foot
when you walk by watch out
he doesn't care what initials
your name has he knows the real JC
tough guy

just to make a point
without proving anything
at all costs trying to save face
just like the rest the hour
of one hundred eighty degrees
passed out around
seven now it's nearly ten
but soon it will be four and twenty
all over again

just to make a point
no one thinks it can be done
after nearly fourteen years
just like that it could be done
and who would hold up a red
octagon and it's a good thing
geometry was taught when it was
else he might never know

just to make a point
he grabs the purple pack
and grinder he knows
it's ten thirty but there is something
about the fingerprint on a page
makes the need to investigate imperative
not to mention unavoidable
from where he stands...

Brockton water torture

nothing wrong with staying in the same place

all day long who is here to say otherwise

he would be at work for someone else of course

sick and tired of the monotony

flip through the big book

just to get a word in before nine

bells toll and the church north west

stops ringing at six but the trains run until eleven

can be heard across town three stops every night

in the same place listening

a new thought for every day even if he's got

to flip the big book to get things started

constantly trying to think of ways to write

his way out of the hole he has dug deep

into the night and it's just nine now

avoiding thoughts work related that's all

everything else is allowed to roam freely

organically grown thought but missing

the Colorado vitamin shots one a day

staring into the product of Dali's mind

and hand it to people who interpret

things differently every time

seen and never heard together

like a couple of buffalo outside behind him

water from the AC drips on the roof

sort of Brockton water torture somehow...

nothing concluded 156

especially without the dread

colder on a would be

perfect night stars blazing too

which are the appropriate

ones for tonight

nothing concluded

one volume longer

into tonight journal

prose has replaced

a lot of the random thought

how many volumes must

be full before seriously

considered the writer

eye know I am

there in the mind now

nothing concluded simply

because it will never be done

always room for more

(improvement) if necessary

up or down

at every cross road

leaving plenty of time

for any amount of indecision

brought out at last or first time

nothing concluded...

counting words

don't even have a thought to start out with
an idea of where it all might be going
plus two who knew he might be counting words
again plus two much time has passed between book
she knew it and no clue why he can't make it
out of the doldrums strong wind beneath a sail
too little attention paid to the sunset sky every night
change the hair style not content laid out on the first page
swollen eyes start to shut like the cover of the book
time to breathe just breathe and tomorrow will be here
before he knows it will be the day they say
over maybe one too many times running on not out
all he has is time ironically he won't wear a watch
stares skyward even if he is cross eyed and
everyone else is confused three days until he arrives
like wind from the west it's what the night will do
if you let it...

high above (under) all these trees

drove by the old spot

now an eye sore

empty restaurant

nearly two years closed

where I used to sit

and watch the sunset

where I sat to watch the moon

and stars rise into positions

high above and now under

all these trees I can’t

see the sky unless I look

straight up

drove by the old pad

and porch number two

where I sat four years

alone eye and I found myself

there and everything

changes little changes

as if you might not notice

until everything is replaced

by what we think we know

is never enough

and what we know is even less

they have got to have a motive

for all the lies tricking troops

into fighting these unwinnable wars

drove by the veterans hospital today

though of old Joe Flanagan

what would he have to say now

his spot gone as well

talked about a challenged eagle

always there I liked to listen to his

conversations with himself

modern day madman

drove myself crazy today

with thoughts starting before 2am

when head hit pillow finally

drove by a broken weeping willow

branch blocked the road

had to go around

just like in the dream

face to wall eyes closed

fighting some unwinnable war

apology accepted

if you don’t happen to like the tone…

climb a spark

outside the beagle barks

the night's already dark

an hour ago left alone

to climb a spark like a star

the first one eye see

the fastest light to reach down deep

beneath the hardened surface

quick breath like a crocodile

then back under awhile longer

as eye hold this breath and run

into the other room quick

for a drink to soothe this fire burn

lights flashing in eyes

like lightening in clear skies

sirens blare as if they were chasing OJ

back east down the highway

for some reason remembering

being in Lakeville and don't remember why

what reason for that memory to be

etched in the brain after all the rain

collecting the thoughts drowning in back yard puddles

where all the moss continues to grow

all through the night while others sleep

straining eyes under one bulb

but enough light to keep the night going

another hour at least extra cushioned seat

people walking outside voices carry strange

can't tell which street they are on

the temperature has dropped fifteen degrees

since five thirty one of these nights

might bring a shot right through one of these screens

even if it's only smoke

he hears the downtown train

it must be eleven o'five...

nothing concluded 155

had he not turned around

headed back to the springs

might have missed birth of G

the baby G nearly 24 hours

without a name

that's gangster

not really

nothing concluded

on the birth

of nephew number two

no idea what kind

of wonderful this baby

was born into

still nothing concluded

millions of moments

missed all the fatherhood

thoughts directed my way

it might be what I need

or not

nothing concluded

one step at a time

Saturday trip out west

at last summer in Crestone

must be as beautiful

as the family

brother brought

out into the middle

of nowhere and made it

his somewhere

nothing concluded

elevated like never before

nearly too high

needs to take the trip to the curb

nothing concluded

another night...

end of a moment

moments of meditation

a moth enters the area and sits

and then that moment has ended

and the voices outside don’t help

revisiting that quiet place

within the mind

only those who seek

have any hope to find

understanding we may have lost

at birth finding it tough

thinking about the future

of the earth…

driving too much

708/2005 1030pm

there are always

a few more thoughts

that this kind of night

will shake out of the mind

wind in the trees

after and during

a heavy rain

left leg

ninety degrees

foot falling asleep

over right knee

trip over that

when realizing

and waking too quick

there are even

thoughts driving

cigar lit in hand

punched out

thirty minutes

no privacy

police behind

until back to work

the day didn’t bring

the pen to work

to record the thoughts

at the moment

no privacy

carriage guy wonders around

the lot trying to think

of something to say

noticing a random window open

cigar smoke out the sunroof

shouldn’t even waste

the fuel driving too much

as it is…

the general lives

down at the bus stop an orange carriage from
the Home Depot it's the general's only possession
aside from his spray bottle
and the store owner may repossess
at times but he always seems to get it back
stashed in random parking lot bushes
that occur every time they pave another wooded area 
for the newest strip mall
but this one isn't the newest
and the hiding spot isn't the best
he somehow always has his carriage
today I saw the general
sitting on the pavement
next to and under his orange carriage
didn't see his face
only one time seen the general's face
scarred as if burned
he's one of the many homeless on the east side of
this city of champions
so there are many who beg 
to differ with the title the city holds 
and the championship
they are lucky to have shoes in this city
at least the general lives on...

act to distract

another attack

act to distract

from what’s really going on

elsewhere it’s all barbaric

how many brave dead souls

for a lie

another attack

act to distract

and create more fear

in the hearts of those

travelling anyone notice

the hike in gas prices

how many dead now

another attack

act to distract

wherever you are

riding the train

driving a car

how much by the end

of the war won’t end

white house fenced in for a reason

to keep the secrets in

another attack

act to distract

realizing the end of freedom

or blind to everything

really going on…

after zero hour

after zero hour

nearly half over

the head of some

will take time

to realize

his purpose

is to stimulate

thought

all over the place…

reality consideration

it may be one of the only ways

he can stay relaxed unwind

and not get hurt in the process

only sword he carries is this pen

one hundred percent most of the time

brand new bandana

pulled down over an extra large forehead

around four years of knotted hair

it'll keep him sane despite all the rain

two and a half hours and everything seems the same

so much for taking photos of the dawn

the rain has ruined that idea

before it actually becomes a reality

consideration and the wind tonight

rattles the windows of the porch

where he sits wondering what the sky

looks like high above the storm

start it one day and finish it the next

only minutes apart when reality is given proper

consideration and cross-eyed tired and dreaming

of stars on the new moon auspicious

to the newest member of the family

born into this world on a seven

the reality of still life on the porch

becomes a consideration once the ground

is completely saturated and morning

remains anticipated...

after all it's what i mean

after all this time expired
as he splashes water on his face
to try to come to grips with where
it might be going to be tough
to force himself down behind some screen
if you know what I mean
after all no one ever asked him what he meant by meditation as blunt
as he can be sitting under and in front of fans
trying to keep cool under all these humid nights
maybe you know what I mean
after all have turned the page on tonight
closed eyes until tomorrow comes naturally
nothing is forced to be anywhere but where it is
do you know what I mean
and what if he came at you
without warning blazing thoughts
pens switch hand ambidextrously penning thoughts
others may never stop to notice just as powerful
as the smell of roses
do you know what I mean
after all it's what I mean
to say and somehow get off track
like a runner with somewhere else to be
reality strikes twice him then me
what do I mean
after all of us is all he must trust
nirvana or bust
a drawing of inspiration
drawn but more
after all is said and done
it's what I do it for
do you know what I mean...

nothing concluded 154

it's possible he will miss

the birth of the second

and he promises he won't

rush when he gets word

it's possible that three hours

is too long of a ride

to try to sprint to the beat

the labor happy healthy

really all that matters

safe passage to the life

nothing concluded

to be continued

on until some truth

is revealed hours

might pass before any

understanding is reached

from where he stands

far from the brother

he grew up with that entire

part of his life seems

that far away as

the dog barks

nothing concluded

taking the silence

from the warm night air...

nothing concluded 153

nothing concluded

always meant

it was going to continue

until completely

out of steam

started in the backyard

two sticks

just buried the bird

nothing concluded

a brother bond

the sibling connection

joined as well by the

sister strength

it's a family thing

nothing concluded...

all the ways

all the space
left empty can be made into
another thought
interrupts switches gear
without hesitation or warning
all the thought
brought forth from this room
could stack and reach the roof
repairs do take place as needed
this spot to collect
all the thought
wonder still where to put
all this thought
all the space
taken up isn't much
for someone this age
seems as the minutes tick by
now we all know the thought
we could go at any time
all the prayers
won't keep anyone from
an eternal nap
for the mortal shell
spun around until dizzy
and then ten years pass
all the time
seems to vanish without
a thought all along
taking notes on the progress
everyday might bring
all the time
not wasted as some have said
all the time
making old wounds bleed
for no good reason
all the space
eventually fills up fast
furious not made it further
all the time
wasted complaining should
be thinking of
all the ways
out of the box...

we can't win

15 days ago it was 45˚

and nobody could understand

why it was so incredibly cold

and now the 80˚ humidity arrives

and no one is happy about this either

it’s New England and the weather

is all over the place at times

like this sea breeze

or mountain air would be nice

no such luck it’s stuffy and stagnant…