know for now

125/1998


letting it cool
the hot spot
myself from a far off place
my hands flat on the table
may not hold my weight
a moment, I will return
onto a road I do not know
what tomorrow may bring only
what you need
to read carefully to see
the white beneath the black
lines forming words
fitting together like a puzzle
that was left unfinished
thoughts return someday
an answer may come
closer so I can explain
the vague description given
names to all those things
just don’t make sense with words
will work hard and you will succeed
in the spot where I sit
for now someday though not here
the siren sound
so loud it is not as bad
as it seems
less real when thought about
time for a change
the way you think today
only one in a line of many
more to come
closer for a moment more
than what I know for now. . .

nothing concluded 91

seemingly chaotic

some very powerful

times, don’t know

what to believe

of what I hear

suddenly I am

thrown into a frenzy

of what I think

and how I fit

into the scheme

for a time

thinking politically

now more

spiritually

more than usual

knowing that

there are

some things that

will never be

completely clear

whatever ones

beliefs are, that

work for them, are

right, the problem

arises when

someone tries’

to force their

beliefs on others

to me this is wrong

nothing concluded. . .

only right now exists

always worried
about an end
to something so comfortable
always worried my comfort
will make me lose
my perspective on life
everything will end
and there is nothing I can do
to stop this end
always worried and that place is not
where I should be
enjoying every moment I have
treating each as if it were my last
man has said many times
now is the only time
this is true
hard to avoid thought
on what could bring
this now
to an end
looking into eyes
tomorrow disappears
only right now exists. . .

nothing concluded 90

remember those and forget the rest

isn’t as hard when the eyes

glued shut with fear

the world around suffocates and terrifies

nothing concluded…

nothing concluded 89

they all gather in a half circle

around the fire

below the dark night sky

only light from above

stars and moon

there is always a simple

solution to anything

thinking about ourselves

surely will only complicate

an ultimately simple solution

thoughts turn to ash

sitting for a few moments

quiet alert alone

ash falls from the air

blow it away

sitting in some sort

of memory posture

for a time each day

analyzing the mind

no one wants it to end

trying to scan memory

for reasoning

behind the daily visits

to the spot

many years back

such patience

an awful place it is

hope they burn it down

on it tossing all these memories

nothing else

final stages of the misEducation

might possible

could get me nowhere

or somewhere else entirely

don’t know nothing (concluded)…

nothing concluded 88

too many thoughts

all at once

desire only to feel

somewhat sane again

maybe it’s foreign

except in the dreams

they won’t stop

waking the mind from

restful silence

nothing concluded…

further away

warm wind blowing

bubbles in the juice

keeps it going

until it can go no further

away from the point

to the track

will get back on top of that

is all I am at liberty to say

understand is to lie flat

back up from the edge

is too sharp 

corners become rounded

bend and head above water

gets deeper with every step

closer need a better look

no further away from this spot

may never come clean

the mess is intolerable

noise coming from the window

opens and down we fall

back to the beginning

a chain reaction

speaking louder than this

somewhat incomplete

sentence making no sense

to give you what you need

to dig deeper down from high

times or low tide moon being seen

bury bones build bigger problems

getting older and wiser some still

go further away from now

same or not

doesn't matter

of fact presented a prize

new contract squeeze a little tighter

around the throat

swelling too much to swallow

all at one time and with each word

moving forward but

further away from the point...

nothing concluded 87

called her sister once

now seeing distrust

in familiar eyes

across a wooden floor

sitting together

a social view of revolution

but socially is it for the people

against imperialism above all

with little regard for people

nothing concluded…

nothing concluded 86

spinning the wheel

until returning to the spot

his own house

and bed and emotion

coming with the territory

not soon enough

so much is lost

so much is yet to be gained

upon returning to the spot

thunder in the sky above

spinning the wheels

and mantras said

and heard

around and over again

in the mind quiet

too much to think on

at times overwhelmed

by the world

and the atrocities

only can pray harder

nothing concluded

automatic thoughts return

eight years from now

thunder still rolls above

more questions than answers…