awake again

perfect timing

perfectly imperfect as

always I am pushing

thoughts out the mind

onto pages of life’s snap shots

at different stages

smile I can’t wipe off haven’t

found one of them in years

comfort level high above

exactly how I need to feel

be here absolutely

and now without sleep

worth the extra time awake…

exposed to destroy

still climbing

holding onto anything

to take another step

positively on the right

path wherever I end up

every night pushing myself

into the pond

cleansing with every breath

uncertain as to how it will all go on

scratching the surface and

going in deeper

until all weakness

is exposed to destroy…

higher

climbing higher

seemingly unreachable

from where I sit now

blank stare shock at words read

destroyed love

burning with anger

at situation out of control

and climbing higher

further I get the more I hold on

and hope not to fall

climbing higher

from this spot…

eyes hide

keeping the mind focused inward

trying only to improve the self

might have to destroy the self

to get to the other side

eyes hide behind

dark glasses probably better

off not knowing what they have

to say only seen for a moment

or two and hiding eyes

might say a lot that needs

to be heard

and the headless figure

emerges one more time

and seemingly flawless

except for the lack of a head

vision still kept to the self

spilling them here

to help sort it all out

creating new space below

it all knowing which end is up

and it’s where I will end up

said and done and all that fun

and in between only

positive will remain…

in dreams

eyes closed and meditating

on today or just thinking

sitting and spacing out

letting the mind wander

to any place

beautiful headless figure seen

again in dreams

before impossible now

imagination creation

every step forward

and appreciated for the strength

it is and will continue to be…

what is real and amazing

rooms are emptied out slowly

and a new basement emerges

for the rebuilding to begin

already begun

and continued in a new space

new ideas making a spot for me

for a change necessary

even if not fully comprehendible

mind slowly empties of negativity

trying out solitude for a change

anything negative is owned

and conquered until only

positive is possible

the air even smells different

and the view shows new things

all around putting my thoughts down

while the others might waste time

being distracted from what’s real

and amazing all around

with closed eyes a headless figure is seen

new or re-emerging confidence

in the self no crutch no hand to hold

and lead the way with closed eyes

the figure is trying to show me something

it has got to mean something

everything means something now…

over the pond

moon rise was huge

over the pond

mind goes up over

the moon and beyond

what the future holds

orange over a green tree line

sun setting behind

at the same time

see those eyes

quick look to where I have been

and onto what is ahead

moon rise and new eyes

quick contact

enough to last the night

last thought before sleep

peaceful thoughts…