TodayIsTheDay #9

the sun is shining
and it's warm
last year this time
the month of snow
was about to take over
the color was purple
and the smell in the air
was citrus for sure
and it could have all
been in his mind
today is the day
he gets lost in eyes
that see different
and a chill that doesn't
make him cold
the sun is still shining
even if only in the mind
still going strong
to this day the strength
to smile and keep on
keepin' on the jester
and the rasta
together in the mind...

just restless

the head rolls
over one side
blank stare
don't want
anyone too close
don't have to talk
really only encourages
more talking
they push and try
to make him lose
his mind can't shake
him loose cannon
with only a tiny razor
never any ill intent
don't mind him now
he is just restless
and a bit lonely
hardly knows what
he is saying...

missed her smile

the day
unusually warm
watched the snow
melt away
sun across the sky
the day
moved along quick
never forget
enjoy moments
all along the way
smiles
throughout
the day
said it before
she came home
now
her smiles
melt away
the snow...

over doing it maybe

might even be
over doing it
writing so much down
might even be evidence
of an over active mind
probably not the worst
vice to display or become
this time of night or day
it doesn't seem to matter
when I grab the pen
going where the thoughts lead
the sound of a plane overhead
or cars navigating this little
neighborhood in randomsville, usa
guess I could be anywhere
but two generations ago
they came here
shoe city famous for fighters
every city has a story I just happened
to catch a ride on this one forty years ago
and for some reason I grew up happiest
when I wrote things down
remember the cabins in NH every summer
kept journals then must be what
drives me to today
pen overlooking any achy hand
pushing past the occasional cramp
stretch it out start again
keep it moving hand ready to jump
over the shiny white piece of string
that keeps these pages in place
it was staples in NH and the books
had blue covers...

glad they are home

circular table for these
thoughts to go around
watching the moon
pop through clouds
and trees as the lunar
day begins test the thought
if clarity comes tomorrow
night around ten have to wait
to see skin on hands
cracks and hurts a bit
this time of year
but it doesn't stop the thoughts
from pouring out of the mind
and pen down for whatever
wherever but mostly solo
journeys somehow invisibly
tethered to this spot
willingly of course
could change or
stay the course
one day might surprise
glad everyone is home
around the circular table
where I sit and enjoy tonight...

stop quick w/ a distraction

some days I just don't know
where to begin or where I really am
for that matter as far as these thoughts
go wherever I go not far
at all though sorry to disappoint
where am I gonna go
some days I get stuck on the back porch
watching the snow melt
news of another explorer dying
trying to cross the antarctic
how crazy that no one has done this
it's twenty-sixteen sometimes
I don't know how to get started
get moving get going
gaining a little momentum
only to stop quick with a distraction
it's the mind's call to action
some days begin right where
I left off the day before
keep on pushing
none of us know
how many more...

already here

never have I seen
the curve so I don't know
on their way home now
miss my sister and Rodrigo
but I know Ana's smile
will melt all of this snow
the plane is high above as
am I haven't flown since
oh one guess I have no
where to go or no one
to see that isn't
already here...

one two three day

not going to let the time
run out first real snowfall
watch as people panic
but after it's fallen
there is something
so peaceful standing
out in the garden
not going to let the
one two three day
pass right on by
still tired flip flopping
the work schedule
standing in the snow
elevated and ready
to rest...

midday no wait

five minutes ahead
but two days behind
thought isn't dead
purpose still try to find
doesn't really matter
no reason not to see
too short just grab a ladder
climb up high and see
right here all the time
like Orion in the sky
here again another rhyme
reach the stars I will try
only minutes between now
pick a time and date
Tuesdays always work somehow
middle of the day no wait
cryptic thoughts drawn
what will really work
sign out on the lawn
not going to be the jerk
just want to chill
it's now I want to live
never meant any ill
lots of thoughts to give...

TodayIsTheDay #8

today is the day
appreciated for work done
paid a little more
glad to work somewhere
that can consistently
count on business
today is the day
boss man smiles
and says good job
guess review time
comes around when
hearing it is needed
sometimes it's easy to forget
that someone is watching
maybe I know too much
to take any of it
too personal it's a business
in the business of making
money like them all
today is the day
don't want it to cross my mind
only a day to appreciate
being appreciated for hard
work done...

fragile tail

who knew the tail
was so fragile
luckily someone
knew to look it up
never would have
thought it so serious
probably why I have
no veterinary skills
personally finished
with one of my own
who knew the tale
we would need to explain
of course on my watch
who knew the tail
so fragile lunged at him
who knew the pain
or how fragile
probably no idea
what is going on...

just what I want to do

not afraid of the cold
at all and willing to be
out in it as long as stars
can be seen
someone has to see them
really do consider it
my night time ceiling
staring sky bound
thoughts tonight
accompanied by the howling wind
through the trees loud in the quiet
as if it has a voice or needs one
not afraid to be outside
a little longer
trying to catch all those
things that might otherwise
go unnoticed still with that coffee
late into the night even if
I only last another hour or so
what else should I do
find a show or movie to watch
get into a spectator sport
or just sleep until tomorrow
just not afraid to be in the cold
and thinking of the living
world all around me...

tell the children the truth

out now on a different porch
out front that way
I don't get snowed on
don't know how much
we might get
only about an inch
almost a year ago
got nearly an entire
month of snow
luckily it was also
the shortest month of the year
it sure didn't feel like it
don't mind any of the porches
here at home I have a few
thinking about the quiet
the opposite of the state
of the world or so they say
and how can we ever really know
what is real and what is shown
in order to keep control
over the entire show
too much to get into
on such a quiet snowy night
but there is still time
to tell the children the truth...

WriteOn #5

a long day
but not as crazy
someone appreciated
my thoughts today
and only a few things
might make me
happier than hearing that

a long day
put in a few miles
by foot
but not as crazy
went at it with
a different attitude
and it really did
make all the difference...

hear it melt

can hear
everything
that has been frozen
melt
can feel
the extra degrees
but of course
my only proof
is the thermometer
above and to the left
can tell
it's almost
time to sleep
can hear
peaceful sleep quiet
start to takeover
whatever that means...

cold under stars

tonight not as cold
still sitting under stars
forty-five minutes home
behind all the cars
slow moving traffic
music up loud
slow moving thoughts
now climb into this cloud
thick but it clears
as quick as it came
call it what you want
and I will give it my own name
then do it all over again
just to spite my face
can't stop a minute now
I have an incredible pace
to keep up won't stop
working until I am done
realizing each day
never an award to be won
barely credit given
what did I expect it this time
get home climb into the cloud
relax with a rhyme
a couple lines at a time
nothing too crazy
a couple lines at a time
maybe because I am lazy
to say it was a good day would be
an understatement mom got greatest news
not another day to lose
pain fades like the color of the bruise
each time they stuck her
in each arm
hoping the poison
would help not harm
and it did today is the day
we all move on strong
today is that day
we anticipated all along
so I smile for my mom
as I scribble words tonight
it's still cold under stars
but not too cold to write...

numbing silence

seems as those the air
is frozen into a numbing
silence which becomes
the soundtrack tonight
the new room finished
seems to have added
more space somehow
instead of any loss
no different from out here
still cold with coffee still warm
drinking it too fast just
to stay warm as left foot
crossed falls asleep
and the right hand
struggles in the cold
to hold the pen...

two weeks in

two weeks in
still too early to tell
seems good so far
leaving some crazy behind
and facing new crazy times
ahead no doubt
it's a presidential election year
here in the usa
let's see who we get to choose
the charade that helps
when we talk about democracy
and freedom even if all the possibles
happen to be standing for the opposite
some other reason behind
those promises and commercials
that will be forgotten eight years later
obviously you'd think
we all have the worst memories
or are easily duped
or conditioned to accept whatever
comes next...

TodayIsTheDay #7

today is the day
watched my brother
create two new rooms
with one wall and a door
each new chapter seems
to bring with it a new room
even if it's one that has been
reinvented four maybe five times
before it is finally what it needs
to be and what it actually is
eventually a balance reached
standing on another slippery
rock by the water's edge
this time the pond is frozen
only hope is that the fish
are deep enough to not be frozen
until sunlight warms the pond
tomorrow between twelve and two
it is in the direct sunlight
but even today's light
did little to warm the pond...

this spot this hand this page

dad said it should have
a good title like
'leaves of grass'
but I can't exactly
hi-jack an already used title
pretty well known work too
WW somewhat influential poet
what about 'the bible'
see what kind of fish
that title will catch
this thinker is not a fisherman
and the sky doesn't get much
clearer than it is today
but the air is cold
the wind is shaking last night's
snow all over the page again
lucky the sun moved
into the sky above
this spot this hand this page
still working out the title
in the mind not overlooking
the backyard beauty...

what is true

not knowing where I will end up
being here now where I am and where I go
known to those who want to know
doesn't much matter in the day to day
stop the madness and the lies we tell ourselves
the learning has blocked ideas from growing
truth might be told and no one to hear—learned
from long ago to trust what is
being taught, told, & made to believe is what is
true...

into the night no doubt

head down writing
only seconds it seems
suddenly wet from over
the head and behind
snow on the page
nearly covering winter coat
sleeve and can hear it
fall into the back of the hood
covered with the first blanket
they say it could be one to three
they are hardly right
head down writing
trying to get a few words down
before the page gets soaked
with those fat flakes
and honestly every one of them
looks different as will
this page once the paper
and ink dry
head down writing
most of the day
working with words
and into the night
no doubt...

life lived right now

countdown on
as tomorrow is always
anticipated
and it sounds
too stressful
damn right
it is stressful
but for some reason
it's important
and what else is there
at this point
in this life I live
countdown to right now
started forty years ago
almost in the same place
never anticipated a move
just anticipated enough
movement to live...

WriteOn #4

missing the ones
who gave me the book
something blank
to write on
and tonight just need
to find a dry spot
to write on
miss three of my roommates
visiting a place much warmer
fifteen days until a chilly return
what could be going through
the youngest mind on the journey
what about the mind of new dad
visiting his native home
has to miss
the temperature at least
never heard him admit it though
it was sisters home for a few years
bet she misses the friends she made
and the sun and the beach
miss all three of them now
and these are the thoughts
I write on...

swinging as if he was

not quite unhinged
but sometimes
swinging as if he was
without anything
keeping him connected
to the strange
reality he swims in
eight hours a day
the disguise
complete with a name tag
and a t-shirt but not quite
unhinged because the cage
pays the bills eight hours
a day play the game
trying not to become unhinged
but as long as he swings
with a smile it's never
to far to take a stand outside
the cage for a second
talking the self back into
that strange reality he lives
eight hours a day
until he can figure
out another way...

not another like the last

so much rain
almost glad it is raining
harder by the minute
ten degrees or twenty
colder and it would be snowing
not at all ready
for another February
like the last
finally stopped
and only wind but
everything is soaked
good thing I brought a towel
couldn't stand and write
without a podium
prefer the table and chair
method but the day forces
me to throw down a towel
with all this rain its hard
not to think actually it's
what woke me from rest
this morning sharing that funk
nearly impossible to describe...

just decide

can't just decide
to write stories
when all I get
are these smaller bursts
random thoughts
micro stories of places
and persons that may
or may not exist
somehow probably exactly
what I should do
and it's probably that easy too
standing in the kitchen
even though everyone
is in bed and there is no one
to talk to and it's okay
the next two days will be nothing
comparatively speaking
most likely take myself
way too serious at times
should know my place
I do not perform surgery
or build structures that need to be safe
I stack fruit and think a lot
have to decide each day
how I am going to approach it
each day doing better
than the previous
can just decide
to have a good day...

not going to happen-try to be that way

some days the workplace
taken way too serious
done it for too long
not to see that the thoughts
are not going to be understood
its just not going to happen
whatever we all serve our
purpose make your decisions
wisely because no one might
be watching and someone
might not care anyway
got to try to be that way at times
instead of treating it like
the after hours thoughts
would even matter
and they don't...

three in a row without clouds

a couple glowing statues
in the garden the tranquil
night spot with little pond
nearly frozen every night
sun works on the surface daily
the fish must appreciate that
and dive deep at night
tonight the rapid cold increase
makes me want to go inside
but still have to be here
a little longer to appreciate
the night and the watch of
Orion over my right shoulder
every night 3 in a row
without clouds
must be my lucky number...

call on the random

thought about the love
for that gonzo journalistic
side of what's really real
HST style wild turkey
on the hip can't lean
right or left
so on that note
no party for me
none of the governmental
guidance or guillotine
detach and stand strong
with the family
always thought about
the love for that freedom
as much as we can really claim
on the day to day
maybe minute by minute
never gone too far
suits me just fine
really can't trust any
of the tyrants in life
none of their power
wealth and influence
is even measurable
by our life standards
rambling after the phone call
thoughts still stuck
up in the head
like an old 90s rap jam...

just a little cold

sifting through older
thoughts similar ideas
setting different time
an expanded mind now
more experience
thinking juggling all
these ideas spinning
in front of eyes
new and old
connection to the stars
still Orion stares back
every night sifting through
older books trying to expose
more of the mind as it relaxes
two days without work
on the mind cold wind steady
at the face looking
northeast curling around the side
of the house little porch
little table little cold would be
too much of an understatement...

anything becomes the day

at least one a day
like doing sets of push ups
to keep the arms and upper
body strong turning pages
as I fill this book keeps
this mind strong
at least that is what I will say
when asked some days
it's as natural as thinking
not quite as natural
as breathing actually
watching a hawk in a tree
one that doesn't notice me
the sun is bright and makes
me feel warm despite the cold air
discovering something
nearly new everyday
looking into the things taught
and seldom questioned
many years later wonder
why no one has any time to wonder
too busy to think about anything
that didn't make it on to
the schedule today
and I am enjoying my days off
I try to keep it simple
that way anything
can become the day...

WriteOn #3

write on the day
nineteen twenty-two
write on any day
just so happens
remembering a picture
a smile and a few catch
phrases remembered
they still come up
in the mind
and any time I find
coins on the ground
he always stopped
to pick up change
write on and reinventing
the change
I find...

TodayIsTheDay #6

today is the day
created a new writing spot
have to retrain the habit
forming mind
turn smoke into vapor
and leave the dirty part
out of the habit
created a new desk area
today is the day
to finally write that novel
decision to round it up
to ten release two more
electro-books
then an old school
page flipper for those
who still do that
apparently there are a few
who still want to hold it
rather than download it
it is understandable
and so I created a new spot
to write and it was originally
a gift given in nineteen sixty-nine
what could any of this mean...

he would have been 94

would have been
ninety-four today
never found the hidden
journals and treasure
know now fifteen years
later he knew much more
and somehow the information
became permanently hidden
all those flights overseas
the war changed so many men
at a young age fire bombing
cities must do a number
on the human mind
should have asked more questions
when I had the chance
knowing he had to know more
thirty-three missions at least
maybe the mind shut off
to avoid the haunting thoughts
and terrible nightmares
the headaches that followed him
all the way wherever he wandered
always making a Houdini-esque escape
always trying to get somewhere else
none of us know or knew then
so much reading leafing through
all the books looking for notes
found very few as these thoughts
went on a journey into the past today
it was his born day in nineteen twenty-two
it's only right...

same room

same room sitting on the floor
almost like twenty years ago
except now I know
and much has changed
trying to come at it
a little different
not seeing it as the same
same room
the occupants above
my two favorite people
remain the same too
peaceful tonight
relief at last
no more treatments
one last check to see
if the sickness have left
and only thing left to do
is keep it away
sitting in the same room
tired all over again...

right there every night

some days I like my job
and what I do
putting fruits and vegetables
on tables make it look nice
enough for people to buy
relaxing now as the day
gets crazier in the mind
dinner with my parents
my two favorite people
alone only in the mind
sharing this beautiful space
sometimes just wanna kick it
with a snowshoe wearing ninja
stomping through the door
with purpose knew all along
it wasn't worthless
high fives all day if I have to
some days I look forward
to days of relaxation
no plans nothing but positive thoughts
for mom two weeks to go
strength to finish stronger
tomorrow is a step in the right
direction reminded randomly
to look up and Orion
is still there every night...

it's OK with me

the littlest porch
here at home base
where I feel grounded
though still shocked
same house many changes
older than some of the trees
in the yard might have had
a hand in planting a few
stay tuned and you will
probably find out
as I do document damn near
anything and everything I do
the tiniest thought
might get tossed into the mix
of a quiet night at home
don't mind at all being
this third wheel
love watching them
be themselves
probably why I couldn't
be anything except me
and it's OK with me...

placed here not to be removed

occasionally still think
something should have worked
and it's why believing in my thoughts
now means so much
more than a hobby
more like a lifestyle
a lifelong search of the mind
without google or with it
if it helps being outside helps
keep me tight with the elements
as the season will surely get colder
supposing the right decision made
was the one to come back to where
I learned to love and care
about the short time we have here
mortal thoughts inspire the ideas
to keep these thought immortal
place here not to be removed
only destroyed but of course backed up
even if stored in the corner of obscurity
as long as words remain readable
these thoughts will never die...

saw three smile

a lot quieter so still
a deafening silence
everyone would be
asleep now anyway
the difference is still
noticeable glad for the safe
journey far from here
watched three smile
in the hands
of my mother
only three left in the house
making my space different
again keep it simple and compact
a lot quieter since I have been back
to this spot in the city
never could see light through
the wooded buffer behind
the small covered up porch
the garden and pond are also
a lot quieter this time of year
and night brings sounds
from far away even high above
closer moved some books today
jogged out a few old thoughts
to help bring in the new ones...

TodayIsTheDay #5

today is the day
woke up and made
breakfast for my mother
talked about missing
the littlest one early morning
chatterbox probably coming
home speaking Portuguese
today is the day
small screen live call
like something out of the Jetsons
sci-fi cartoon from childhood
could see the recognition
in her little smile
wondering why we aren't
in the same room or the next
one over or downstairs
instead of a different part of the world
moved some things around
seems like a whole new room
all over again
today is the day
eye reinvent the space
yet again what's one more
over twenty years strong...

two put me here

first four twenty
in twenty-sixteen
new number to remember
when writing daily
shouldn't be hard never is
or so they say
so I don't worry anymore
and even if I do
I try harder to put it aside
and push on through
the day no one is here
except the two that put me here
and they don't know what
to tell me after all these years
they have done everything
they could and more no doubt
first twenty-four in twenty-sixteen
won't tell me much still alone
and content more than lonely
content to know I still have
to be a better me for me
as the new one rolls in
and I roll up if I chose
to leave the neighborhood
always felt safe in this house
content in the mind
which has become my home again...

first visit

crazy when that
newest member appears
and twelve months
to look back on
where we were to where
we are now
how quickly everything
can change
how far can be traveled
in twenty-four hours
three hours time difference
video chat in mother's hands
real time beyond the equator
would have loved to be
on that flight...