one with darkness

royal purple paints the five o’clock sky
sit in lotus position
not trying to understand what I am
understanding is only achieved through experience
don’t worry myself with
morbid thoughts of the future now—
must live for the moment
right now
exercising my breathing
polluting my breath
discouraging

displaying much strength but
sure there is weakness there
somewhere
none of us
perfected perfection
all of us
perfectly imperfect

seeing orange and can almost smell
the night creeping into my eyes
the sun is almost completely gone
faithfully it will return to my eyes
in a matter of hours
my spot is desolate today
can hear many voices
can see no faces

clouds marching in time
an imperial march of purple and orange
what will the king say upon seeing my lonely visage
the next train will take me east
allowing the wind to blow my mind elsewhere
and darkness arrives covering my night time soul mate
many miles between us
feel so empty
like a bowl
what I don’t see exists the same
as those objects I can readily touch
one more breath as I close my eyes
abandon the purple—orange sky
one with the darkness. . .

nothing concluded 36

too many people

and the noise begins to bleed at his ears

in the same spot over again

almost as if he never left

(or ever will)

stopping this thought process

right in the middle

of a moonlit night

until now

uninterrupted

upside down again

reversing the scenario

just to see

just for a moment

accepting it all as evidence

wishing to attain

understanding and patience

knowing it

like the Tao

is the way

can’t always see the light

at the end of the

darkened tunnel

is there an end

to be seen

it’s a continuing process

as is the changing

flow of the powerful river

and as he does it does

with him change…

never will

never will come to understand
that collective mind
act like they want to know
then nothing
or they don’t know
really surprised so many
three years pass and not much
different lots more hair
and a nickname and a beard
can’t change that for a head trip
can’t navigate the webs like the spider
will watch from this solitary spot
still don’t understand
who they really are
who they think they are…

glass wall

glass wall allowing rays
to warm my arms
scraping the remaining
sleep from my eyes
after the cold of last night
trying to recollect thoughts
unconscious while sleeping
trying to stay aware in dreams
not an easy task
thirty-five minutes
and six pillars
supporting the red circle
above the head below
lies speckled tiles
one of many warmed
early morning sun
shining with golden smiles
through the glass wall…

thin-king

again I sit
you have not yet returned grandmother’s copy
of the ancient sea scroll
seen brighter days my friend
none so bright as the passed two nights
full moon pulls its cloud blanket up
over her naked figure
I am trying to find the time
to scratch some hieroglyphics on the walls
of the battleship
haven’t even laid eyes on the captain yet
what right do I have
when are you going to push the river
into my ear once again
feeling so empty since the last time
some two weeks ago
dreamed I killed the miser again last night
had this dream so many times
he still walks the cobblestone pathways
with Judas Iscariot and Benedict Arnold
the three stooges never treated each other so awful
the miser having a different face for each day of the year

been meaning to ask you my friend
will you join me in my crusade against the king
I want to crown myself the thin—king again
I am finally ready and stable enough
to regain the spot once thrown from
the reign is over
gently plant my feet on this newly seeded lawn
the reverend maynard calls me at once
and this means I must end this letter
abruptly and for this I am truly sorry. . .

half shut eyes

half shut eyes
and too many camels
waiting for anyone to join
the coffee is not doing anything
by way of keeping the lids
from going ground ward
never as much fear
some would have you think
never as manic
one way or the other
speaking of medicine
screaming at the setting moon
cloud covered sitting with
unanswered questions
what had been hoped for
one lonely night presented
with a wooden statue
lotus flower in hand
the carved facial features
tell new stories everyday…

skipping rocks

skipping rocks again
across the surface of the mirrored pool
glazed eyes with reality
dreams can only take you so high
rock bottom is a solid foundation
positive ever since
cracked knuckles on aching hands
holding the pen too tight
not wasting a moment
even in the midst
of an unintentional drought
forcefully spoiling a forgotten crop
blinking eyes in this direction
doesn’t have the same medicinal
effect as it once did…

know me

ever see someone
you’d really like to know
more than just a five minute
introduction but maybe
a conversation
instead speaking through thoughts
probably never able to read the mind
don’t even mind the that it’s mutual
the unknowns
and the weekends last for days
still Friday becomes Monday
too fast blink of an eye
only here a month now
wish you did…

piled on top

that picturesque moon dances tonight
looking as though a great painter
decided tonight was the night
to grace the sky with a masterpiece
remembering what once was
paired with what will come to be real
and the now thoughts swimming
in and out and through the mind
content with that
not minding the spot caught
where sitting is the best thing to do
piled on top of these sheets
bound with forgotten dreams
the medicine man may have passed
who knows who
the wondering apostle will follow
piled on top of the angry sea
only remnants left
what once was
what will never leave is
the surrounding circle…

my foot is asleep

tingle my foot
as pins and needles
of night time
paste like substance
spread before me
the neon all around finally
serves it's purpose
as night arrives
man clearing table for the next
group of thoughts
I am busy clearing my mind
for the next
group of people. . .

nothing concluded 35

seldom does it occur

that he would a miss

the smile of a complete

stranger but it is absent from

this limited morning view

wandering the narrow

paths of the daily routine

he hopes to encounter

but the clouds keep

that smile un-risen

nothing concluded 34

regions of my mind

invaded and so as it stands

he is but a figment of

the imagination

a creative one of course

he still sits among all the strangers

choosing to know no one

and commenting at length

about the thoughts that

pound the mind

like a drum pounding

out the rebelliousness of youth

everyone needs to take the time

and try to understand each other

how else we avoid war

suddenly crowded in the hazy

spot he has chosen

it’s a bit hard to stay afloat in the sea

of smoke and babble

he holds his breath

finding time in the clock-less

universe he somehow still

trapped between layers

of confusion

and smoke

twisting and turning

in sleep and while awake

contorting the thoughts

and trying to make sense

out of all this noise…

nothing concluded 33

set into another

whirl wind

sorting through and contemplating

the next move like the chess-master

in the park

standing and staring

don’t mind him

glass-eyed

he is only admiring

the view

books filled with

his thoughts

and others

and he is moving full speed

ahead

the trees appear to be crying

in the cold air the winter brings

becoming transmitters of light

when the full moon bares

the luminous eye

the mind freezes

a frigid moment

and somehow he sees

what it is behind

the moon

confused and not sure

what to do with all

the new information

where will it bring

him back to from where it started

suddenly the full moon sets

and becomes the darkness

that surrounds

and becomes the heroine of the tale

nothing concluded

an intoxicating dream

sequence takes place

waking the tired remains

of reality to join the story

all ready in progress…

nothing concluded 32

upon speaking

a second time
and place to be announced
later on the sirens blare
all day long
 
retiring to the same
spot daily or so it seems
examining myself and
all I see
holding the page
 
close to the face
and eyes
no mistake in the transcribing
of thoughts to words
no hope of perfection
 
into strangers eyes
out of my own
could all I see
be that illusion
nothing concluded
 
reaching out from the shadows
of an empty heart
not my own
trying harder daily
to piece it all together
 
scattered among the pieces
shattered images
of thoughts
and cracked up dreams
nothing concluded
 
hiding in the crowd
a peaceful messenger
one a mission
many take shelter
from the drenching rain
 
when will all of these
thoughts truly earn their spot
on the imperfect page
out of the mind
best he can be at the moment
 
any takers on a guided
tour around the mountainous
regions of my mind
as I reassemble these
thoughts once hidden…

crack

215/2007

one thought
one day at a time
when overkill
has been reached
smoked right on passed
the tree’s crack
tonight’s wind
strong
one thought
all it took
lost the dread…

woke up cold and bald
clear head so it is said
no king unless thin—
queen reassuring
amazing presence and strength
falling asleep warm
relaxed…

one thought
loose change in a coffee can
something must stop
the tree’s crack
wind blowing in—
sense the way at last
strength in the kiss
revealing every weakness
in a rainy breakdown…

nothing concluded 31

the neck aches

as it should
if it is the place
where I hold
my stress
 
my worry mostly
lost in the pages
and in the words I write
searching for some solitude
peace of mind
 
some seem so troubled
beyond the darkest
shadow on a cloudy
day or under the midnight
moon alone

nothing concluded 30

put my mind to one side

away for a while each day
in order
to just be
meditation
 
let this perpetual thought
subside and rest
while the cloudiness
cleared and readied
for a new day
 
when dawn comes
all will be well again
the bright rays of morning
always missed when it rains
obstructed view
 
receiving a letter
remembering a face
the brother missing
present peacefulness
my guru

listening to the river flow
knowing I cannot send
a reply fast enough
send him a thought
om—nothing concluded…

brother crying

sometimes feeling as though
cannot make it to another day
and night comes
darkness brings all of it's joy
and sorrow and walking into
my guru's tears
shattered for a moment
standing in disbelief
in a moment doubt
all that has been learned
seeing only happiness
flash before my eyes
sometimes feeling as though
might not make it to tonight
and the sun hides
an ocean of emotion
only minutes passing in the mind
everything in new light
what happened and what did I miss
how did the east wind blow home
this sadness here in the heart
of my teacher-where did the smile go
how long until confusion clouds clear
sometimes feeling as though
tomorrow will never arrive
my own light needed now to light
the darkened hallway
many times my guru lighting it for me
under the weight of the sky and
millions of stars I want to take it from him
whatever it is that weighs more that
his coat sometimes feeling
as though the sun will never rise
and then darkness becomes our light
guru in tears something I hardly remember
but will never forget my brother crying. . .

nothing concluded 29

sitting up towards the top

of the hill
looking down
where all the people are
moving around

everyone has somewhere

to go but one stops
to notice the field of flowers
and weeds
and grass
 
suddenly others appear
as if this field calls
over the noise of their
busy day
suddenly everyone is relaxing
 
the stranger in the distance
on the other side of the field
catches this eye
and wondering
how similar the minds might be
 
nothing concluded
looking up from this page
everyone is gone
and the day continues
as if it never stopped…

nothing concluded 28

searching through

the bent and unbent
wire that encircles
all the confusion
what should be a dead flower
 
still somehow filled
with some life
enough to retain it’s beauty
after being cut
some four months ago
 
a lonely soul
might struggle in a search
nothing concluded
like a poem that is entirely
too long…

nothing concluded 27

getting the message

and a little upset
would be saying the least
possible but you asked
and you had to know
 
now lying after being tossed
from such a wonderful
view
and now face down
on the rocky shore
 
cloud hidden sun
amongst the millions
of scattered hopes
and shards of dreams
left for the ocean
nothing concluded...

nothing concluded 26

the sky above

holds no answers
as I find myself
stuck again gazing
thought explodes
 
falling in and
out of sleep
or is it confusion
or some other
delusional state
 
things getting hectic
and breaking apart
at the seams
and what seems genuine
is not
 
see me soar
high above
but below
my mistakes still burn
nothing concluded
 
the familiar  scream
of the horn man
plays for my ears
and helps in an escape
attempt from the mind
 
feeling the spot
on the arm
of another artistic hand
it’s as if I could feel
a heart beat through this glove
 
one minute the eyes are
closed and then next
moment thinking I was
caught in another dream
nothing concluded
 
letting myself go there
and was I alone
the hair on the back
of my neck
stands on end
 
heard the words wrong
or just not spoken with
a genuine tone
spoken softly
as if the words might
 
disappear into the cloudy night
putting these thoughts to rest
next to a different light
now as darkness
has been all that I have seen. . .