nothing concluded 10

looking down

soft warm

surface below

cushion my feet

if in fact there

is a fall

spending last night

with five

as

we all speed

towards a seven

lost in translation

looming only

moments

ahead is another

one to add

to the enormous

collection

filling another hole

but

becoming more

a part

of the whole

you see?

when was the last time

you saw a night like

this night

you have in front of you

had you cared

to look?

when you leave

can I catch a ride

to the beautiful sunset

that woman

gave me

last night?

eventually they

all

leave in an almost

ordinary fashion

leaving behind

bits of shattered sunshine

starting a new point daily

in a direction toward

his own positive light

despite the shattered darkness

and gloom ahead

lagging behind—nothing concluded. . .

final day

the final day but more to come
patiently beating upon the drum
falling into no category
know no end to the story
two decades plus one is not long
not the singer just hear the song
the one lived out each and every day
and for release he may pray
follow roads he knows so well
waves of confusion start to swell
part of the journey once began
sink in water where he once swam
look back some days and things have changed
only to stagnate if he didn't seem so strange
finding release in an unattached way
only thought on the final day. . .

nothing concluded 9

attaining stoppage

applying the brakes

coming to a halt

seeing nothing

hearing not a sound

spinning the wheels

over and over

never ending

until complete

knowledge attained

nothing more to know

as the day

spins to darkness

night time is the absence

of day

no worries

the trouble has ceased

quietude comes

and complete

peacefulness follows

desire only

to know more

to see that which

I cannot see

with these eyes

how strange the horn

player reveals

so much in sound

yet says nothing

at all

where have all the people

gone and

how does the day

know when to stop

being day

a beautiful memory

comes back

for a moment

and that’s enough

saw her once

she returns so often

and then disappears

like a phantom on the hill

she created

like the lies

what does she see

this time that she

didn’t see the first

time up that

perfect hill

with a tree on top

or not and it doesn’t

even matter

no one had a picture

or pen that day

the ground may be

frozen below

but my feet

are still firmly

planted

the cloud are high

above me and the grass

that withers away

with this cold season

beauty does shine tonight

through the trees

nearly unobstructed

the moon

smile as if I had actually seen her

nothing concluded. . .

floating thought

rising to my feet

feeling as though floating

extremely worn out

wandering from spot to spot

hearing every noise that surrounds me

everyone playing their own tune

singing with all sorts of tongues

some sounding sweet others

pain my ears to hear

night blinks a dark eye

and a gently mist begins to fall

makes the neon city look

as if it were moving

behind me somewhere

a wall behind which I keep all

the memories I hide

nothing concluded 8

no use

getting all upset

happens every-time

at this point

it is almost a ritual

can’t let it

get me

down

so low

pick myself back up

am I the only

one who could

or

would change

things

alone again

but

not lonely yet

won’t let it

creep

learning the ways

teaching myself

the ways

daily meditation

and study

learning to see

things differently

as only I can see

them much

happier now

not trying hard

to understand anyone

enough trouble

trying to figure out

myself

knowing my flaws

are here with me

I look past them

and wish others could

do the same

no time

to wonder why

keep on

keepin’ on no time

to try not to cry

wish I could understand

and it makes me sad

but I will get over it

no more time

for that

satisfied

with myself

and it isn’t much

I know this, still

nothing concluded. . .

nothing concluded 7

these things said

and the questions

the addiction

and when will it

all end, why?

relaxing with

realizing I don’t want

it anymore

habitual policy

quit me now

pushing myself

wanting nothing more

than to extinguish

the fire

all that smoke

sitting with the family now

everyone together

no particular reason

but thankful just the same

changing words if need be

traveling inward

in a crowd

seeing myself

working outward

in order to stabilize

pushing back

the head and relaxing

everyone around

enjoying the silence

nothing concluded. . .

nothing concluded 6

I too

quite perplexed

no reason

just know

I feel

pain

we all suffer loss

change is inevitable

and the wait is not long

change will surely come

changing with change

bending with ease

making the transition

and that which doesn’t bend

will surely break

and I will not break

but bend and change

when I must to avoid

major pitfalls

nothing concluded. . .

nothing concluded 5

far from content

not resting enough

days are too short

wish I was

something.

not what I am

freezing my hands

can’t control

the shake

don’t know me.

as they play

knowing I am

as the song states

feeling utterly

empty.

again feeling

that uncontrollable

urge

to touch

that wonderful skin.

no one knows

how I feel

now

but I am cold, alone

and still, nothing concluded...

nothing concluded 4

don’t truly know

but learning by day

that things do

come easy

to some.

harder for me

to see

from where

I stand

here.

everyone flocks

to the most interesting spot

my spot

not as interesting

just as well.

don’t want the commotion

enjoying my seclusion

speaking with myself

about the many places

my mind has been.

all of the down time

but seen much happiness

heard much ignorance

but learned many things

in my place.

finding joy in the quiet hours

left alone

disturbed by

nothing

nothing concluded...

nothing concluded 3

doing so much

at the same time

feel as though

never enough

for myself.

happiness is

what it is

but what is it

haven’t seen it

in some time.

purpose

still don’t know

getting from

one day to another

my own advice.

smoke fills my lungs

knowing it kills them

$2.33 a pack

what a waste

of a days work.

feeling as if I am old

still in my younger years

seen too much already

more to come

enough is enough.

sitting on the curb

taking a break

well deserved

don’t want to work

nothing concluded...

nothing concluded 2

alone I wait

what’s to come

crouched in the corner

watching

all who come by.

this spot

so familiar to me

my eyes

becoming bored

stagnant scene.

reading the great writers

those I deem great

what I think

meaning not much

to those with degrees.

holding above me

keeping me

below them

not fair

can I change it.

say what I must

to pass

their course

their rules

result.

rejected again

not good enough

they scream

with ignorant voices

don’t they remember.

behind a desk

red pen and grade book

ready to destroy

student

we are all students.

see their thoughts

so much to learn

too many rules

to follow

break the mold.

hold strong

importance in all we say

everyone

so much to say

when will they listen?

take me as serious

as another

won’t kiss your ass

for one letter

doesn’t mean much to me.

my future

not in their hands

deep inside of me

dealing with what I must

to get by.

not as complacent

as another

won’t be put down

much longer

nothing concluded...

nothing concluded 1

scattered memories

starting to fade

all of my thoughts, on one

nevermore, always left to sort through

the rubble, alone.

shattered hopes

anticipated nothing and all I got

but who will explain

too complicated

my heart can’t understand.

uplifting soul

saw past the roughness, interior clean

quiet spot

holding it for one, won’t say

my purpose unseen.

dirty pages

not filth

just random thoughts, lost not long

before knowing not

knowledge received in a dream.

falling asleep

too tired to work

nothing in it for me

everyone’s blind

to what I see.

falling asleep

too tired to try

won’t push the river, anymore

constructing a dam, crushed

when it breaks.

growing used to the scene

natural beauty

seen in reverse, notice the inner first

attraction all the better

I think.

one may wonder

as I do

how things can get so confusing

romantic eyes see

that which others don’t.

pretty faces

don’t see mine

real people don’t notice me

as real as

I can be.

spotted glass

and a hacking cough

stained digits

but still

want to touch.

where has everyone gone

hiding from my eyes

splendor seen

never returning the sight

too short, can’t see.

wave came with the moon

seen in the night dancing wildly

thinking with my pen, ink stained fingers

cramped with cold, aging daily

nothing concluded...

can i finish my soda

924/1996

strange days ahead

behind

accepted by some

but

the ignorant stare

with hateful eyes

behind

my back saying I smell

like a hippie

what does that mean

it's incense

only angry because I pollute

the perfume doll-house replication

can I finish my soda before

you force me to leavelet me get this straight

cut my hair my beard

take a bath in cologne

tuck in my shirt

and disrespect your daughter

then I can stay?wish you knew how much

I want to hate you

but

I won't return the favor because

I don't even know you

why not get to know then judge

even then you've got no right

but

at least then you won't

come off so ignorantwon't even look me in the eye

around the corner up the stairs

fearing that which you do not know

but

I smell like a hippie so I have

got to go...

know the rest

how could he fade

things are so real

worry much and thinking

you will be the one fading

not water color to be washed in the rain

even if emotions change

unfading and you never knew really

close your eyes

you know the rest. . .

it is enough

fiending for a familiar voice

that sweet beautiful noise

in ears ring them bells

inside the heart peace now dwells

much to do yet I sit and write

not once regretting a wonderful night

all at once rushing nowhere

down is now up and I am now there

at the same time I think I am still here

pain drifts away take with it fear

that place of tranquility is where I am going

the direction is harder for me to be knowing

accepted and time now to enjoy

remembering the days in this story of the boy

much anger and fear he has had

seemingly in control and embracing what is sad

now it's what you think the opposite of happy

lack of happiness for too long and then it slapped me

right in the face it's in our rule

not that you could learn that in school

reaching deep and look what can be found

nothing came when looking around

missing the point it was inside

and inside another no need to hide

NAMASTE honoring the light within you

knowing it's there the in the clouds I see right through

and seeing the stars and the full moon

no rush for that it's only noon

breathing each breath knowing the mind free

the rock that doesn't move even the tree

sway with each word the wind does speak

everyone's strong no need to be weak

nothing will break if it is willing to bend

you'll never lose me if you are a friend

find yourself daily or even a clue

one step at a time as if feet knew

where it is we are all going

no reason no rocks no need to be throwing

the past is forgiven not forgotten

some shines while some of it is rotten

embracing it all with the same arms

now letting it go watch as it calms

all of the waves that were so rough

enjoying the peace and that is enough. . .

won't fade

wonder why the sky cries now

push onward through it all plow

until reaching a point of desire

or until burned in the fire

won’t fade with the sun that shines

surviving worse, how many times

wonder why the trees bend like they do

wind won’t blow anything between tight two

what they say and shit they may speak

won’t affect what’s been found, not as weak

all the mountains seen, how many times

won’t fade and the sun still shines

wonder how it all came to be

looking into glass wonder what they see

don’t look away eyes are the cure

parting ways and only wanting more

won’t fade rather explode

sun shine brighter, overload

wonder why an emotion may rage

despite years numbers and age

don’t they know it won’t go away

and the stupid games that they play

won’t fade

even if standing in the shade

stop wondering and take it all in

try to explain emotion, don’t know where to begin

decipher the code no problem can’t be solved

figured out the emotion and any pain resolved

won’t fade in the shade paid or unpaid

thoughts stacked like bricks neatly laid. . .

the wind is screaming

808/1996

the wind is screaming and
the moon shines down
on my spot on the stone
give me hope
understanding
the pathways traveled
cannot rewind
and will not be where
it can harm me
will not be set up for a third stone
thrown at my head
a third day and I will not rise
falling into a new way of thinking
seeing myself as important now
back burner no more
center of my own attention
won't let the hard times
bring me down
reaching down to the first branch
falling how many times and hitting
how many branches on my way down
now seizing this day this hour
seeing clearly the ideas
before I couldn't see
change the ways that have done me wrong
move on to the better it will come. . .

nothing to find

loneliness—had enough

emptiness felt as the water gets rough

too hard at times sitting near

somehow wishing to be seen here

and how much to say

never enough time in the day

thinking misery for so long

and weakness becoming so strong

taking a mind off of this

seeing what may have been missed

waiting too damn long

and then they just come along

how did they know not like the rest

how did they know they would pass the test

learning more of the things unknown

learning more picking up the thrown stone

hopefully not settling for less

in the past created quite the mess

out of a mind

nothing to find

won’t rewind

won’t even think to look behind

won’t rise now tired from the strain

until the clouds won’t cry again crying all this rain

until the moon dances away below the ground

until the waves can’t crash and no one hears a sound

until the heat won’t burn up in that cooler place

until looking into the box—see the mortal face. . .

rest here in bed

wish I knew still don’t know what to do

so I think of your eyes

don’t know how to be anyone but me

can’t wear an oversized disguise

every thing's gone and I am not the pawn

in someone’s foolish game

I can’t find the place where I don’t see your face

some thing's not right I am not the same

as all the rest and I don’t claim to be best

but different in some kind of way

just take a look through the words in the book

escape with the writer for today

no promise I bring

don’t expect anything

smiling when hearing the voice

never been mad

though sometimes gets sad

wouldn’t if given the choice

what they want

past will never haunt

dreams of what’s yet to be

some life unseen

a place so serene

don’t know if we’ll ever see

dreams coming true

who knew what to do

in a situation stuck in the head

don’t want to wake up

mistakes must makes up

for now resting here in bed. . .