try to solve this one

watching the wind
fan my fire higher
almost grabbed a newer
book wanted to start
a new chapter
but somehow
talked myself into
finishing this one
stay focused and finish
what has motivated
all along keep on writing
no matter how funny
they look at me
it only motivates me to put
more words down like
my life is a crossword puzzle
who is going to try
to solve this one
without a hidden word or phrase
done that a time or two
and probably again
not here streaming the thoughts
live out in the backyard
late night or what I consider
late night after eight
when you keep the hours kept
started the fire with a paper bag
and a spark burst into
another late night blaze
into another current year...

countless ways

shouldn’t try
to put myself
somewhere I would
probably not last long
enough to make it to
the current year
another to add to the stack
so high it might topple over
but not too high
seeing everything clearer
up above sort things
out and rejoin work in progress
every year since
been solo
been better
in countless ways…

countdown to the current year

last day/night
one month straight
everyday another thought
or the continuation of
one from yesterday
the day before
and the day before that
last night/day
wish I could force
myself to the coast
for a sunrise
can’t guarantee
I will want to wake
before the year’s
first light
last few hours
before it becomes
a new day/year
by the calendar
that we all go by
makes enough sense
not to question
too much more than normal
last few minutes
hoping the fire
will make it until midnight...

couldn't help but notice

trying to twist it tighter
and see what the mind
will produce see how things might
come out a little different
couldn’t help but get noticed
as the beard gets bigger
guess my roots could be
shivite or rasta from creation
this much eye know
trying also to find the loose
ends to tie up before
the new year even if it doesn’t matter
it’s only two days away
what will there be come the current year
when it arrives I will be trying
to twist it around another corner
another year and see if I can
make it make sense
see what the mind might produce
life surrounding produce
couldn’t help but notice…

learn to forget

woke up to an icy ride
wish I could wake to watch
my garden grow
all the more reason
to make a plan
and drop some seeds
wish I still had my
king-man spot
lost it with that
biggest mistake of
my life type of shit
can’t stop remembering
have to learn to forget…

interesting, no?

under the small roof
because the rain and
the cold has returned
hadn’t even noticed that my shoe
getting soaked as my foot
sticks out from under the roof
now the foot is cold
and I have to go inside
to find a dry sock
interesting, no?…

plan my escape

how will this moment in time
be described in the future
how will we know if they lie
about it in the future
and this begs the question
how much of what we are told
actually true not much I am thinking
and so many will call
me skeptical and crazy
or more crazy than skeptical
nothing stopping anyone
from sitting down and proving me wrong
tell me why you believe what you do
how can we be sure history will be accurately
recorded and written
especially since some of us do not believe
history going back merely fifty years
I don’t know why I am such a skeptic
guess I understand that in order
to control people the mind’s
need to be molded to accept
their own enslavement
and maybe I am crazy
but I will rattle the cage
and rage against my own
enslavement and plan my escape...

behind the neighborhood

hard to see the words
under the shadow of my hand
as it skids across the page
out under the clouds
and create some of my own
the only way to figure
the way out sitting
back to the woods
tonight facing
the back of the house
hard to see the words
when there is only
one light on out
behind the neighborhood...

only confusion

if co-workers and family
members don’t count
then I am fresh out
one maybe two on occasion
but most have fallen
off the most recently
seen list long ago
some fairly recent but
not enough to keep
me from perpetual
solitude everything
important is blended
and distorted into
the fata morgana of my mind
no one notices these things
flipped and far away
never mind the huge hump
and I can’t find someone to ask
if co-workers and family members
don’t count what does that say
strange times because
no one ever seems happy
with their situation
maybe they are
and I just can’t tell from
where I stand a lone tree
in the forest silently screaming
no questions answered
only confusion...

really wouldn't mind

coffee before sleep
who does it like this
wake up and wind down
the same style in reverse
somehow a small cup
what’s the difference
been drinking it all day
seems like years
been doing it this way
probably because it has been years
haven’t been to many exotic places
it doesn’t stop me from exploring
all these places in my mind
sounds strange maybe a cop out
or the normal ride down the mind wave
until bed time arrives
it could be earlier than this
and I really wouldn’t mind...

fifty-seven degrees

nearly sixty degrees
two days after Xmas
cleaned the car
so it is a comfortable ride
once I head back to the workplace
nearly sixty degrees
desire to be outside
under the sun visible at last
all the previous night’s clouds
blown away even as
sunlight fades now the air
is still warmer than previous
days cloud filled still no one around
to see the sky change colors
right before eyes stuck in this head
mind circling around ideas
that I won’t let stagnate
or even sit still for hours
still enjoying flowers
picked on the last day of October...

surfing clouds

the clouds look like
a giant is standing
high above blowing smoke
across the sky
and the tops of trees
bending letting it blow
by without damage
while anything not tied
or weighed down will be moved
warmer than you would think
standing inside looking out
the sound of the wind as it approaches
hard to describe maybe a train
pushing air through a mountain tunnel
louder and louder as it approaches
then passes and continues
like waves on the beach
there is another blast
right on the heels
of the last out back surfing the wind
waves without moving closing eyes
and letting thoughts flow...

woke by wind

wind woke me
before light shines
over this part of the earth
and I felt I needed
to sit outside in it
and so I did for about
thirty minutes
the birds know enough
to stay low but even
that doesn’t help
blown from one spot to another
drawn to thoughts that
made the idea of riding solo
more appealing
wind woke me like the calm
of the cold cement
one night in Plymouth
that changed everything
and woke me from a slumber
of a different kind
pursuing something
that never existed
like wind is there
but never stays still
long enough to hold onto
barely able to harness it’s power
and redirect the strength
and realize there is still
sun to shine through somewhere
and at night Orion can be
seen standing strong
reminder to always overpower
any and all weakness
until it is gone…

get up too early to be late

only need a couple
minutes of your time
check out a few words
see my thoughts
drawn out long hand
originally then typed
to be presented
obviously goes without
saying but I wrote
it anyway gloved hands
planning an escape if I had
a place to go or
someone to meet
be there early
probably waiting never
late get up too early
to be late time
to get warm again…

always happening

an hour early
but it’s always
happening
no matter
the time always
ready for action
sit down and chill
reaction and today
just a fraction
of what tomorrow
has in store an hour early
but no one is watching anyway
no one is here to hear
the sigh from behind boxes
ghost whispers from
another artist quite possibly
the smartest one all around
the corner made her laugh
a time or two it wouldn’t be so bad
to turn back time for a few
then jump back to reality
but which one is the wonder
the one perceived
or the one standing being
perceived an hour early
no one seems to mind
as I continue the chain
unbroken…

stars right now

after a great day
to rest relax
and spend some
time in quiet
contemplation
enjoying the sun
just as I enjoy
the stars right now

another new book
to fill everyone
knows what to get me
as a gift blank book
they know I fill them
with my random thoughts
enjoying the stars right now
where I sit four
seasons strong

back to work tomorrow
then another off day
strange change
to the work week
not to mention
the stars right now
but there they are…

Xmas sunrise

sun begins
to melt the thin
layer of yesterday’s
rain frozen over night
and it changes right
before eyes
twenty-five minutes
of steam escaping
the clutches of gravity
sun begins
to warm everything
around sky is clear
and as blue as it ever
appears not a plane
overhead this morning
sun begins
to melt into smiles
from the youngest
trying to figure it all out
no one truly knows
why but there are many
stories that keep
the tradition alive
this morning sun warms
the page the hand
and the face
painting thoughts
on the wall
and as time passes
like shadows
the paintings change
before eyes all day…

ninety plus years

great night together
with the crew
Italian kitchen Brockton
Xmas eve tradition
many years now
so lucky to have such
a tight knit family
youngest to oldest
spans almost one hundred years
great night
fire dying down
out behind the house
and silence takes over
the city everyone relaxing
with family and friends
not many out
on the slippery roads
great night together
much rest tomorrow…

Xmas eve 2016

almost that time of year
when for one day
everyone gathers
with those closest to them
does minimal or no work
almost that time
when everyone starts
showing up with gifts
for each other
it’s that giving season
bringing in the new year
shortly trying to keep
the string of days
written unbroken
successful so far
even as everyone
arrives to share
Xmas eve dinner together…

one more exhausting day

warmer tonight
wish it
was twenty-four hours
from now
one more exhausting
day…

attainable

elevate the mind
beyond what is normally
accepted instead
exceptional should be the goal
elevate the mind
most goals become attainable
or at least worth pursuing
instead of someone
telling you that it is safe
I remember being scared of
doing new things and
thinking outside of the box
as a child and now I fear
less daily as long as the pen
never stops and the mind
remains elevated
twisting myself around what
I can and will produce
and becomes part of the thoughts
that push this pen
week four of continuous
momentum forward never
again to take a road weak with promise
keep back the self necessary
to keep the mind elevated...

longer days ahead

on the daily working out
with this pen even if
it is cold enough to wear gloves
having my own smoke box
not many join up
hardly a rotation
and will take a break
turn out a few more pages
on the daily
how many understand
and respect the craft
even if solely for the self
improvement that would be enough
respect there but some need
that dollar sign validation
which does make sense
but it cannot be the only
goal maybe it should be a bi-product
of what we produce
original thought on a page with a pen
just like it was 1910
back to the present day
do it again old school
smoke box filled like
no one is looking
and they probably never were
and even if they were
what could they say now
the days start getting
longer today…

make it count

traditionally
everyone gets something
for Xmas and
all my somethings
for everyone
have been collected
to one place
under the haze of my trees
like someone speaking
with a burning bush
so what, I might wear gloves
when I write but it
keeps the fingers from going numb
no one sees me here
out behind the house
pouring my mind into
my books day after day
twenty-one days
straight to the top
of everyday
working out is a part
of my job in general
make it count
or else what’s the pointing
spending the afternoon
with smokey on the porch
out behind where
no one can see
it’s no wonder
we are always alone
and by we
I mean my thoughts & I…

long ride

long ride to visit
an old friend
just like the old days
back to when I had
my own space
created an outer
and inner space
long ride to clear
the head above
all around
day off but went
to work anyway
glad I did
another one in four
days Xmas with the family…

outside in the cold

outside in the cold
still light for
a few more minutes
two days until
daylight increases
again slowly
one or two minutes
a day until warm
weather returns
at last puffin’ tough
even when it’s cold enough
to freeze the breath
mustache frozen
fingertips numb
time for a shower
to thaw out for the night...

obvious to some

listening to the wind
watching the trees bend
it’s amazing they all don’t snap
it’s a mild day today
but the wind has a bite to it
what the wind says that winter
has arrived a few days
early this year betting
on tomorrow being colder
than today and possibly
from now on until spring
sun warms us all
again just keeping
it going probably
obvious to those
paying attention…

snow commute

snow came early
but I got to work
before it got too bad
snow kept coming New England
winter style then quickly turned
to rain by afternoon
made for a soggy ride home
soggy night writing spot
finally got to lay down
a few thoughts
not just to keep the streak going
strong no end in sight
unless I let the weather
beat me down
snow came day after
new tires and breaks
nothing really to slow me down…

split instead

when the days off
from the job are split
instead of consecutive
it makes the weeks seem
shorter but only when
necessary because two consecutive
days filled with rest
are definitely necessary
most of the time
not as necessary as
the employment itself
and although it’s unfortunate
it’s survival and there are ways
out if you can figure it out...

12 lines over three days

another night
under the moon
always alone
tomorrow come soon

seeing the cold
it’s so thick
going to be nearly
zero degrees

spent nearly two days
with the family
tight like a sweater
only worn on Xmas...

enough with the anger

don’t want to be angry
at anyone at all
and take it from today
nothing could bring me down
then the mail came
serves me right for not
keeping friends closer
can count on either hand
empty and not held
don’t want to be angry
because there is no one to blame
me as I sit on the porch
every night rain or not
cold or hot but I don’t want
to be angry at myself
for leaving the only love I knew
for the garbage that took
five years to climb out from
underneath just have to keep
plugging forward
even when angry hoping
this steam blowing
is enough to bring
back some balance...

no one to keep me from my fire

worked today
not usual
sixth day straight
used to do it weekly
before I changed paths
and directions
some decisions
extremely wrong
only one lately
has been right
back to home base
to regroup
worked today
quite usual
out straight everyday
non stop thought
working out the muscle
that has to get me
to the end
work tomorrow
only perfecting the self
I grow to be daily
whenever it might be
no one by my side
to keep me from my fire
burning nightly
nothing to slow my flow
adversely nothing to push me
forward with encouragement
reach down deep for the motivation
so I will not skip a day
away from two weeks straight
to the head with that holy smoke
it helps me hope for a better day
building like stairs
to the highest point...

watch a few rounds

this day and age
it’s easy to look back
to events watched on
the television
years ago
back twenty years or more
watched a lot of boxing
with my grandfather
able to look back now
on fights I watched
with him not knowing
at the time how history
would view some of these
fights bringing back
memories of thunderous
punches and the sight
of two big guys
pounding until only
one man is standing...

snow by morning

the weather report
says snow for tomorrow
just in time
for my drive to work
luckily the snow should be
turning to rain
but usually that means
ice too and none of it
sounds fun but
tomorrow is another day
or so they say
it’s so cliché
right now it’s just cold
and there are many
people so sad because
of a popularity contest
which they lost
and it probably means
very means very little
and the last eight
a little worse than the previous
eight and on and on
if you keep going back
through all the popularity
contests every four years
but what is done in the present
moment on a local level
is probably the only thing
we an try to hold on to
or control or ride out
like surfing on a diminishing
wave that will bring
us to the shore...

figure it out daily

another day becomes
a box crossed off on the wall
count down like a kid
until the day passes
then another quickly replaces
soon to fall from the porch without
this railing leaned upon
upon the highest hill
found climbed and stood up on
a ground found higher than others
made it to this spot
time and time again
pushed out into the sun
before it drifts
away for today
until darkness
opens to tomorrow light
as it arrives
and I will welcome it
everyday is a chance
to figure it out
all over again…

must be

must be crazy
have writing gloves on
so cold on the skin
won’t blow my smoke indoors
try to rethink things a bit
as I keep my hand moving
to avoid more of a chill
must be a little off
balance watch me stand on my head
what else can you do but watch
when it’s flipped upside down
he must be crazy they’ll say
and it will be me sitting here
finger pointed at me
in the cold I smile
at all the laughter...

a day ago

a day ago
right here
same mind
shook up daily
pack me one
love through thought
about it
all day long
until I grabbed
the pen and put
it down one two
three as if there
was a beat there too
like a rock
walkway in the backyard
a day ago
couldn’t find a dry spot
wet up the page
mind shook up
blended with whatever
goes on in it
each day
a day ago
right here as the sunlight
diminishes...

if nothing else

an hour early
to the table
and no one is here
and in an hour
how many will join
at this table
everyday it’s a new
journey refusing
to just flow because
it’s mainstream
if they don’t know me
how do they think they know me
or what I like
or anyone for that matter
who are they who think they know
an hour early but
I don’t have any trouble waiting
patience seems to be a strength
I have developed wasn’t always there
a couple days of rest always good for
strength as well wishers watch
thirty minutes pass quick
almost on time as many
will arrive maybe only in the mind
but they will be here in spirit
if nothing else...

staring down the hermit

have mysteriously become
a hermit again
and it will probably be something
others will tell me I will regret
but I can really get a lot
of work done
becoming an all work and no play
guy making the edge get dull
but the thoughts are still
sharp and daily direction
unknown until first step taken
a reflection or light source
I can’t tell sitting where I do
the light seems quite different
doesn’t matter what they
tell us to believe
everyone can see this for themselves
seem to have become a professional
hermit because I work and do my part
but when chilling I am usually home alone
not the worst attribute to have
but pretty far from the best too
it’s so hard to snap out of it
in order to venture out
and see what is going on
even if nothing
it would be something
to the hermit
it would be something
if I manage to get there…

after breakfast

breakfast with dad
one of my closest friends
sunshine on the table
and the page
and the hand is moving quick
keeping the thoughts
flowing from breakfast with dad
appreciate the friendship
after years of unwavering support
no matter what the midnight call
might have been shift
gears now speaking with an old friend
and the relationship with his dad
completely opposite situation
then we drove by the school
where we met in the 3rd grade
wasn’t even planned…

skinny bones in the cold

sound of the waterfall is back
unclogged the pump of all the leaves
the trees all around around
are skinny bones
in the cold
sometimes sitting in then quiet
is the only thing that makes sense
the chill is deep
the dedication to words
on the page has to be deeper...

cold all around

wet feet
cold all around
snow for an hour
dinner will be soon
and how lucky am I
warm outside under stars
nightly as Xmas lights flash
from all directions
the holiday is only twenty
days away
wet feet cold
might have snow on the ground
by then and then it’s over
new year then it becomes
the current year
just like the rest did
even wet feet
not half bad
mostly good
and the day goes on
until the night takes over
the top of this table
looking down to
wet feet...

ended up going solo

everyday
all day if I could
would should
and then some
head into the stars
as I sip my coffee
out of the big dipper
who is going to tell me I can’t
hang out in the sky early morning
alone with my mind
everyday all day
without a choice
late night alone in the mind
solo like the red cup
but it’s not a throw away
and I wish I didn’t with
so much time I can never
get back everyday
all day took the wrong road
and ended up
going solo instead…

make my own coffee

it’s why I would
rather make
my own coffee
feeling lazy I stopped
at dunkin’ donuts
and ordered large hot
2 cream only
shouldn’t be hard
repeat it back pay
on my way quick
take a sip
and there is sugar in it
serves me right
for being lazy
and not making my own
which is what I would rather do...

always observing

always watching
the sky layered
with clouds as the sun
drifts away down and under
or just around
always observing
and comparing to
what has been learned
and figuring out what
may need to be unlearned
in order to see reality
not this matrix constructed
for all to learn and abide by
watching and hoping
to learn something
from the observation
even if learning is seeing
the ways in which I am weak
and need improvement…

it's really not my problem

never going to not put it down
even if no one picks it up to read
that’s really not my problem
putting it out there
spend the time scouring the entrails
of that mind twisted
only so that the focus is different
than what is told never going to believe
unless seen or felt or connected
with which I am but what if
it has all been a lie
more accurate it would disprove
so many things
never going to let it surprise
me when they can no longer
hide the obvious
behind another lie
everyone is not the same
each unique not forced
into groups someone else
labels for us
we decide
and I am never going
to give up on
leaving something
important behind...

close enough

the clock is right
says close enough
time to puff
last month of the year
my luck is right on now
at times it’s been rough
life and all the usual stuff
no room for any fear
the clock stands still
day ends with best friends
the ones that put me here
the clock moves again
both hands hit four
then move a little more
don’t think I did
still here...