Monday, December 31, 2001

nothing concluded 105

stepping on his own toes
getting out of his own way
back to when the memory
served well
as well can be

floating away from
a distracted eye
thinking merely of the funds
and how to spend them
they control the pulse of the world

how many get by on what
is necessary as opposed
to those who let desire
controlling the entirety
of the situation stabilized

not quite calm
not disturbing the peace
worked hard to achieve
only to destroy
in a moments notice

the minor details
proving that nothing
is conclusive
as if something different
might decide to be the same

as everything else
no one really sees the whole picture
no wonder there are conflicting
tales tied in knots
nearly impossible to straighten

all the tangled lines
thinking internally at times
not writing it all down
for future generations
that may or may not appreciate

words on pages
it is all life
just different stages
of the game some play
and some take serious

a situation
now with nothing
to look forward to
can't look behind
nothing concluded...

Tuesday, December 25, 2001

created for creating

suddenly in the dark alone again
waiting for something to clear the clouds
of smoke a haze created for creating
and the guru returns for a stay
in one place never
just passing through all of this
with a smile stretching
a turning that some may never see
nothing but a colossal waste of time
and paper and ink
stained arms and back
to the point in the lonely direction
never really fading from view
it from another angle
and it all might appear a little different
thoughts stretch over the skull like a second skin
on the inside of course
covering the mind with the same clouds
created while creating
something not many will take the time to read
and appreciate as anything more than scribble
scratch nonsense and babble
Christmas just doesn't have the same feel
as it did way back when wrapping paper
and plenty of food were available and consumed
not as exciting still feels great guru being around
each minute ticking corner taken too fast
will result in the shift of thought
from one spot to the next...

Thursday, December 20, 2001

nothing concluded 104


nothing concluded
after all this time
for a review done
and undone ideas
appearing out of thin air

and it's hard to hard
to breathe through
all the smoke
swirling around the mind
making more words

appear dark on white
pages stacking thought
on top of thought
besides what else
would these idle hands construct

building bridges of thought
painting portraits of thought
some quite abstract
nothing concluded
of course

wondering which window
to look out for dangerous ideas
of material success
come from inside knowing
he does what he is supposed

to be doing too much at once
there was a young boy
making random notes
appear to hold no tune
the dial to now

and see the man
with so much random thought
his arm hurts and so many
stare how many care
nothing concluded

needing an expansion team
to move his words in front of eyes
who could care
about a mind steady thinking
sinking deeper into pen meditation

nothing can break the focus
two eyes closed
one eye wide open
so many would never see
the importance of the written word

ideas bouncing off of paper
ideas blinding the 20/20 seers
and even penetrating ears
of the non-seers
nothing concluded

smokes still rising
from the remains
of yesterday knowing
he's been good enough
all along getting only better

most just fail to see
that which is most important
forget what is appropriate
and who cares
what the others will think

words
and scattered thoughts
random and
nothing ever
concluded...

Thursday, November 15, 2001

do no good

almost out of time

enjoying every minute

and illustrating

it all with words

would do no good

stuck up in the mind

this writer without words

is nothing more than a guy

looking out the window...

Tuesday, November 13, 2001

no one is ever home


leaf print carpet
inside just as cold
as the other side
of the window
wishing something
made sense today
he struggles to see the point
he doesn't want
to be a part of the rat race
escape the maze
and understand the truth
the point of this existance
his desire is to do something
not just to something to make
the moneys that keep the machine
moving it stains the hands
turns friends into enemies
and money makes society move
it has become an addiction
and a necessity to survive
no one is ever here to help the worry
go away even sunshine
can't break through these clouds
every action calculated
every minute of the day
is carefully scheduled
and he tries to figure out who decided
that this was a good idea
the sound of cars never stops
it's an all day all night thing
no one sleeps or even rests anymore
how will all survive at this feverish pace
is there anyone who knows how it will
all turn out if it'll all turn out
or will his plane just drop from the sky
no one's ever here
to notice the race being run at all hours
for what--money can't keep you warm
when you are cold and alone
it can't reassure you that tomorrow
will be a better day
no one is ever here
saying anything it's not quite
four o'clock but the sunset
sky is an amazing sight
he wonders how many others
noticed the colors...

living for a living

he's always accidentally
overhearing the audio autobiography
everyone carries in the back of their
mouth are the portable resumes
he's always hearing what people
have done but what are they doing
working for a living only means
doing what you really don't want
to be doing in order to make
money but how do we escape
the circle the tortures of society
as a whole everyone's enjoying
the recession media blitz war on terror
working for living and worried that there
will be nothing left when you can
work no more suddenly the clouds turn
purple as the night darkness
starts to threaten it's approach
fading into black like the end of a movie
but how many don't care
still working don't notice
he's trying his hardest
to make ends meet somewhere
in the middle so that he
can continue to be living for a living...

Thursday, October 25, 2001

thought and ink

racing toward
the end of another thought
interrupts and doesn’t mind
kicking him off his block
block of thought
sitting on the couch
still able to visualize all the time
memory captured beautiful breath
reaching up high from down low
tide revealing the most sound
heard when mind is quiet
wondering where his thought falls
back towards a bag of leaves
blocking the driveway until strong
wind blows them in all directions
the mind faces itself again
stepping out of bounds
and leaps as well right off the page
or stays hidden in opposite ends
of the same rope tying hands
would be the only way to keep the pen
still strikes when it needs to rest
will not let the eyes stop reading
one continuous thought
there might be a break but broken
thought will not repair itself
might become two new thoughts
two directions one mind
in this thought without stoppage
seeing reactions some may have it all figured out
frozen has two meanings as well
and won’t soon be explained
as the mind is written out in long hand
hoping someone is listening
with eyes that can see the thoughts
paying attention to detail hidden deep
within the recesses of a mind swollen
and spilling out onto the page
until all the books are filled
how many before now
all we have to do is look forward
and as one direction rest the other
keeps spinning all it’s got without
the realization that most readers
might be lost by now
but someone should understand
that explanations sometimes get you nowhere
interrupted again a disturbance only comes
when running out of paper
with still too much thought and ink…

self destructive

sometimes feeling
as though this generation
might be one that
is at times too careless
not enough focus on
things of real importance
everything surrounds money
how much you can make
what do you need to make to survive
all life is measured by money
time and freedom tied to money
individualism needs to be encouraged
and maybe money will never be
gone as something to worry about
but can’t help thinking that our society
is living life self destructively…

truth in disguise

in the disguise chose
no one will see or recognize
the evil before us
an imperialism maybe George Lucas
could explain it better or has already
in the disguise of protection
privacy will be continuously violated
from now on they say it will
tear at the roots of terrorism
might also tear an important document
to shreds of what it was meant to protect
deep beneath the greed of the rich bankers
controlling the government and the enemy
aiming war machine at innocent people
unfortunate casualties not the same to most
we have to look with different eyes
and know we are not the targets of real terrorists
it’s our government who is the target
and the war will not end until the enemy and terrorism
are uprooted and the war machine will march on and on
it won’t stop in Afghanistan it will go on and on
let’s just hope more and more people wake up
before we lose more freedom
and more time with the war machine pounding
terrorism wherever they tell it is next
how many wars in my life time alone…

Wednesday, October 24, 2001

known & unknown thought

meaning ever since
contacted by eyes different
worlds apart
inching closer moving upward
the only direction known
and unknown thoughts
resting behind eyes catching him
daydreaming again no more
as months reveal opportunities
now he waits for sunrise
and the smiles that might follow to that spot
rest unparalleled reading words written
as if the only words ever written
explain the miraculous nature of appreciation
dedicating all of his time to the thoughts
some would ignore some look to the sky
see clouds, sun, night approaching
he sees a magnificent painting
almost beautiful enough to compare
sunrise smile to sleeping peaceful rest
final thought on his fortune
in finding some meaning beneath
the madness of a day
and the light the sunrise brings
him every morning… 

standing like a tree in a silent forest

the darkness arrives
just like any other night
it would be one where loneliness
is approaching too
like a ship to dock
it’s been years since
seen anything like this
close the book on things that might distract
taking time away from what is important
the darkness doesn’t
have the same sting
twenty-five killer bees
attacking night after night
they couldn’t think of killing the idea
arriving on time as usual thoughts
for an unusual man so much time
with pen in hand
darkness forcing it’s way through
the seventy degree October afternoon
where so many thoughts stand
like trees in a silent forest
smiling back at the road
with no end in sight…

angry man sits

angry man sits quiet
actually quite patient
he does need that first cup
of coffee or he might
seem angry mumbling
profanities barely audible
he needs to catch the waitress
on the way into this spot
he proudly picks his own seat
can’t and doesn’t wait
doesn’t say anything to the waitress
just sits angry waiting
he needs to speak up
after only five minutes
standing up speaking loudly
that he has been waiting
for twenty minutes
can’t understand why some
have coffee and he doesn’t
little angry professor man
not used to waiting…

Tuesday, October 23, 2001

solo

one by one they stagger in
the regulars at this spot
most are older men
all visiting this spot
solo one by one
they take their seats
as if they planned it this way
coming here solo
only to sit with others
in the room doing the same thing
all seeming so desolate so low
none of them speak
except one who can’t help it
and his desolation conversation
is being documented separately
so low in their seats two chairs
left then one
waiting for anyone who
wishes to speak
or spare the time
for a smile and they won’t
feel so alone
solo only for the moment
no longer so low
in some pit of despair
where these other lonely
souls hang no gallows or clotheslines
just empty tables now
barely even used by the solo offender
again only assumption
never seen them with anyone
only solo dancing in seated position
and if the paintings could talk
he would listen…

he's not sleeping

closer than skin
but that’s not possible
so if they ask
just as close as he can get
under the blanket
burning candles
opposite side of the room
too much of a good thing
all he wants
and it couldn’t possibly be
too much of that good thing
definitely the right amount
the day passes slower
when he is alone
don’t ask why he is sleeping
middle of the day
he isn’t sleeping
he is merely trying to reach
back into his dreams…

erupt onto the page

seems as though
he has written so much
that he couldn’t
possibly have anything
left to say
still awe struck
as he looks into
the night’s eyes
he notices that the words
keep coming
as if someone stays up late
preparing all the thoughts
and soon they erupt
through the pen to page
seems as though
no one will understand
this ramble as it extends
out like a stretch of highway
with no bend in sight
and no destination
no matter what they say
with words wailing and
wind whipping
still wondering when
the night might
hold him close again…

Sunday, October 21, 2001

lucky to be here

lucky situations
handled with mindfulness
wanting to erase mistakes
knowing this is impossible
progression keeping on
moving through mistakes
second and third chances
speed bumps at high speed
do some damage
carefully approached
and guided over can keep the tone low
mindful never getting
out of control
salt rivers might flow
until a calm is reached
the rest of the world
melts away and only a moment exists
it will exist as long as desired
how long can he keep the balance
and how far does he want to fall…

what's important

what’s important
is not the 9-5
and not the $$ or status
one might gain
what is important
is how well we learn
to walk through the fire
of everyday life
the lie is what this society
hopes we live
looking into the glass seeing
reflection’s eyes
and the self
this is important…

answer with smiles

it might never illuminate
the masses looking beyond physicality
bravery under armor worn
bravery in armor removed
ask why and answer with only smiles
ask how but might never know
don’t ask if you understand
gaining momentum daily lifted
hands high in thanks gone back
to words unwritten might never
gain acceptance he reads and rereads
night is dark waiting not unlike
other nights when illumination undoubted
sun has risen lighting his night
rebirth somehow daily
and maybe simply the illumination
of a dream looking deeper
bravery in words etched
bravery in ink stained reminds
ask why answer with only smiles
ask why if it’s truly unknown
don’t ask if you understand…

Thursday, October 18, 2001

Thursday morning

a chill wakes him
it’s nine am
and it’s the latest
he has slept in over two weeks
collecting the thoughts
in the morning
always a little harder
but they don’t weigh as heavy
thoughts are positive
putting them in order
always a little tougher
a chill hits him
stepping out of the shower
thinking now
only of being warm
all of the ways
the past few months
have made him warm
chill hits him when he
looks to the glass
sometimes not recognizing
who is he supposed to be
not negative thoughts
understanding that which doesn’t
change stagnates
chill follows to the car
blast the heat
while waiting letting mind drift
the smiles he will encounter
the chills sticks around
breaks the thought
how many wonder
why a en flashes from every pocket
and a thought for every action
conquering finally
the unease of the chill
trying to organize
all the things need to be done

Thursday morning…

Wednesday, October 17, 2001

practice not preaching

and this might sound
mean or insensitive
but he really might not care
someone will always find
a reason to disagree
some miraculous event
makes them believe reality
is somewhat clouded
thinking they are better off
because faith puts their mind at ease
somehow calling upon a two thousand
years old name from a book
or maybe it’s faith holding
it all together but practice
instead of preaching from that spot
where real spirituality is made fun of
especially if you don’t give
credit to someone never met…

if confused, congratulations

it’s as if
not a word
will materialize
right before eyes
close for the last time
first words dropped on a page
turned into a canvass
for some thought paint
someone will have to decide
what colors go where
if they want it to make sense
and if confused congratulations
may have solved the riddle
confusion is a good sign
means thinking may have started
and taking something from the page
might just be important
not simply racing with eyes
until the words stop
some will never consider it poetry
but no one can argue the random
thought aspect and some will continue
to poke fun it’s what they do
because they don’t care to try
to understand and even that is okay…

midday

middle of the day
sunshine with wind
whipping words across the sky
who knew it would all
happen so smoothly
sliding into a comfortable place
sitting with this temporary
peace he has found…

Monday, October 15, 2001

wishing well filled with clouds

a glass of water
and a cup of coffee
and a filled mind of thought
or mind filled with thought
thinking for a moment
that none of this could be real
he thought he could touch
the thought and make it real
spreading like sunshine
when the sun first cracks
the night away
far from the wishing well now
and there is no water to see
only clouds…