days go by

days go by
and frustration
sets in when the pen
doesn’t move
and only one reason really
because I didn’t pick it up
and move it
days go by
and fatigue is hard to shake
enjoying the warmth
knowing the chill
will return another few weeks
before a layer can be
peeled back and warmth
enjoyed but days go by
quickly luckily in the blink
of an eye ninety-two years
not gone a month
thoughts still strong...

once was

no idea what might come out
but it’s the truth as far as
I see it because
these are only my thoughts
and my thoughts
might play tricks on me
but they no longer lie
for any reason lies only
lead to digression no room
for progression
no idea who is going
to reach out from where
after how long sorry if I am not
as nice as I once was...

take anywhere aspect

sometimes I am too lazy
to go back inside after
I find a spot to write
and grab my book
but not tonight
even in the cold usually
I have no idea what thoughts
will come up and words will
come out when I sit quiet
this book is probably too
big more of an artist style
sketch book but with lines
to write on and it’s probably
because I get used to the smaller ones
then decide I need a big one
only to remember why I write in
smaller books usually
they fit with me better
and I can take them anywhere
this one is a little too big on the
take anywhere aspect of things...

out of view

no need to be reminded
that I am alone
feel the solitude daily
don’t need a special day
to feel more alone than usual
by the end of the day
I will have risen above
any loneliness
that tries to creep
position myself out back
hard to spot
out of view...

need sunglasses

the sun overpowers
the cold air and all the snow
is beginning to melt
been away from the book
almost two weeks
watching the last elder pass
and laid to rest while it was cold
even as the sun melts the snow and ice
I don’t own a pair of sunglasses
and never thought I needed
them until today...

G-Ma

we have lost our last elder
in our small family
we all watched that final light
from the oldest generation
flicker and fade and silently disappear
five generations
in one moment became four
the energy in that small room
around that small woman
that meant so much
was anything but small
chills surrounded and somehow
calmed my heart
despite the intense sadness
knowing what we all witnessed
was her final gift to us
a moment to wonder
if that energy
with the calming chill
was her energy
the final Elder
being passed to those present
a moment to appreciate
that room filled with love
despite watching her
take her final mortal breath
a moment to feel her energy
and hold it in our hearts
from this day forward...

same kind of sunshine

sit back with my cone
like a kid with an ice cream
well not anything like that
but it came out like that
when I put the pen to the page
afternoon sun melts
what is left of the snow
the green grass pokes through
visions of spring minus
the twenty-five degree temperature
somehow sunlight still manages
to turn solid to liquid
before eyes as I sit back
put flame to the cone
soon to hit the sit still zone
saw my dad sitting pensive
and asked what he was thinking
he said sometimes I sit and think
and sometimes I just sit
watching a neighborhood beach ball
blow around in the wind
without direction
only the fences keep it trapped
in the corner probably
be gone by the weekend
if that long sit back
with my cone diminishing
in the same kind of sunshine...

what's next

the snow is all but melted
and gMa still holds on
it’s the saddest part of life
to witness the end
the uncertainty of what’s next
we all have our own thoughts
on what’s next and wouldn’t
it be strange if
we are all right...