back yard notes under an umbrella

the wind in the trees
has always reminded
my mind and heart of fall
in the past a place we can all visit
when we close our eyes
and drift for a minute
are we in for a November
like that one in sixty-three
desperate times call for desperate measures
and they may even want the military
to police the streets...

the wind above signifies change
and since the dawn of this new spot
along the time line behind these lids
when closing businesses are all everyone's
talking about even on the sunniest of days
who even admires the beauty
anymore everyone is so afraid
to be without things
randomly riding a bike around
this small town hoping and searching
for success in one hell of a situation
and just when it's getting tough
they tell me to get out
as if it won't disappoint most of them...

constant changes proof because
topic has switched again
need a soft seat under the wind
leaves falling all around
the silence is always anything but
silent still something tells me
to wait and not give up hope
because this team is strong
and strength is what it takes
to face every day
and take it on chin
everyday if I have to
in order to make it to bed each night...

ten ten

literally standing up as straight as I can
despite the situation at hand
shaking as I write handwriting not nearly as neat
as it once was sometimes my thumb goes completely
numb as they investigate everything I have
or have not done in seventeen years of service
where will I turn when I am done spinning circles
how dizzy can one man get the news and
it may be no relief that will only come from above
in the cloudless sky it's Friday
it is quite predictable but no one saw it coming
literally hanging myself for every wrong move I have made
falling from some pedestal I put myself on when
I knew the right thing to do in nearly every situation
stuck in limbo don't know which end is up or down
below the lowest branch on the tree
wishing for some wind to put out its misery on me
before noon when some sort of decision may in fact be rendered
and if there is evidence and admission of three dollar guilt
what are the judge and jury waiting for
the train whistle blows from about a mile away
sitting perplexed at the pond an hour now
drowning in doubt wishing on forgiveness...