Tuesday, January 14, 1997

nothing concluded 15

advice given
to me
never ignore
listening, processed
and considered.

seems as though
each one I meet leaves
a stain
as on a shirt
and I can’t get it clean.

my fingers are numb,
but my emotions
passed that spot
days ago, don’t know
where the feeling went.

words spoken
are heard and
neatly tucked away
but are my hands tied
once revealing too much.

need to be given
a sign
when I go too far
with words and
generous actions.

it’s one p.m.
and I am listening
to bROCKtON-
elevator music, but
I’m not going up or down.

trapped inside a box
no one, but me can see
I am a mime and
not so good at it
can you see?

how many other people
in the world
wished on the same
star as I did
last night?

feeling as though I
have accomplished
nothing as of late,
no one to blame,
but me.

don’t have any enemies
except that man
in the glass,
provided I chose to look
at and acknowledge him.

I remember new york,
hundreds of miles away,
but people, the same,
seemed so real, but
my phone screams silence.

it’s five a.m. and
I lay on the floor
in the kitchen   
and
I want to sleep.

waking up and I can’t
stand to look
in the glass
why and
what do I fear?

pushing everyone
away from me,
but realizing I don’t
have to, they must have known
they are gone.

am I the welcome mat
for all? do I really
allow people to walk
all over and
wipe their feet daily?

how can I change
these things? do I
truly want to change?
wasn’t I happy alone? am I not
happy because I don’t know I’m happy?

there’s a spot on my spoon
too much smoke in my lungs
not enough love in my heart
and too many helping hands lent-
and knowing nothing concluded...

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