seven years away

at twenty I think I knew

things aren’t actually as everyone around

seems to think or believe or accept

almost twenty years ago now

over sixty books filled with the most random

as crazy as Rodrigo thinks I am

wouldn’t change that questioning mind

the one that won’t accept the story

the way they tell it got to find truth

details hidden objected to the first war exposed to

couldn’t understand why teacher

seemed to believe the lies and not ask the questions

twenty years of war and economic roller coaster rides

nationwide guided my decision to get a job and keep it

younger than friends never followed the flow

sometimes even walked up stream and left everyone behind

as I wouldn’t walk away seven years away from this home base

possible the rest of the years spent here

so many have been so many places

possibly envious of that

got at least twenty years to work on what comes next…

find the top

the pen will just go when you let it

memories come and go

but importance won’t let them be forgotten

the power of words the camera for thoughts

resist a certain stagnation that seems to persist

plow right through even if only on off days

you won’t find the top if you stop when you cough

keep on pushing you have somewhere to go

pick up the shovel could be dirt might be snow

never know so get moving the song

to myself puzzling the pieces

rearranging true wealth

thinking of all the other minds

ones met along the way so many far behind

right here now attention to poor to pay or

stick around a corner sharp to every move

still bobbing this head naturally in some hypnotic groove

still sure I have a story to tell just don’t know where it is at

tried sitting and letting the pen move

twenty-5 years done that now

need to find more eyes that still read

open wide to thoughts that might surprise

instead stay hidden in the maze of a mind

trying to find the top

and daily amazed at the mind…

believe nothing

don’t dare question

what’s accepted

and walk out of line

it won’t do you any good

and everyone will think

you are being negative

or crazy or some other shit

they make up to make

themselves feel better

but if you think for yourself

how can you accept

all that is accepted

question everything

and believe nothing…

no more wrong direction

today I sat on a stone

slab near a waterfall

watching the leaves fall

like snow catching

all off guard wishing

words to do the same

scattered but persistent

words stack up

like balanced rocks

proving they can withstand

the elements the mind

never seems to shut down

confidence builds every day

wrong direction no more…

just begun again

spent the day outside

warm for the fall

as leaves slowly

float as the warm breeze

takes them from up high

soft landing next to me

and all around

like a child chasing and watching

one as it comes down

mesmerized all over again

inspire writer’s first sunrise

through trees instead of over

water sparkles through trees a little

later how many thoughts

will be enough of has it only

just begun again…

stacks of rocks

in the backyard again

man made stone walls

and stacks of rocks

and I know the man

who carried or rolled

each stone put into place

everything fits perfectly imperfect

leaves falling at and on my feet

and into this book

where thoughts take the form of words

all I know piles of words

everyday ones to describe

or legitimize this much thought

wishing to paint but it would probably

come out as words

might be the quickest way

for thoughts to inspire

colors changing daily now on trees

above the clouds move quick

below the blue in the race

to wherever they are going…

under this stone

someone probably said it better

than this but still I

give it all I have pushing out thoughts

whether they are relevant or not

whether they even get read or not

that it matters to me might even be

secondary first of all get it on the page

detached from any rage

once felt now sun shining

down bright and new

warmth felt as if for the first time

hand goes numb from writing

for the first time since being back

home where I learned nearly everything

done here at one time or another

closer to the family proud enough

to bring me back always there

to help me find the track

to the greatness random and obscure

might still be unknown

climb high on the pedestal

kept under this stone…

find the realness

got to use what I can

where I am where I have been

so many years ago and here I am

back again and I know I left

try to find the realness

ever since I was twenty-two

years old it’s when I went

out on my own

never really been on my own

and everything I have with me

is really all I own

got to bring something new to the table

don’t believe most things people tell me

media hype etc. my mind is logic

enabled and hard wired to doubt

most of what is heard

barely trust the written word

unless hand written

on thoughts that might be forbidden…

flip it over

flip the book over

and skip a page

new spot

old spot all in one

somewhere to call home

spot family close

small community

one goal live free

somehow navigate

the matrix progression

through unlearning too

un-conditioning… 

change the cause

change where you are at or maybe what you do

the way you look at life and act daily

cause your own success shoot for yourself and score

not waiting for that permission to move

the rock in front of the path you choose

effect is the outcome be the success you

thought you could be and know you are, what

is holding you back be—

cause someone told you it might be too

physical or difficult to be the

reality you want to see

is it hard to visualize true wealth

effect is putting yourself in the picture… 

to the sky

look to the sky

up, up and away

back to childhood

thoughts for the moment

silence for all the time

now lost through the air

like wind in the face

time to rest

coming back and resting easy

and still each night

look to the sky…

transaction of thought

not for entertainment purposes

but will certainly entertain

the possibility that those

opening and choosing to read

might force a thought or two

not hoping the reader is entertained

instead hoping the reader

is engaged in thought

not an entertainer just a thinker

writing it down for those

who choose to read and contemplate

complete the transaction of thought

entertainment tends to distract

these thoughts can be involved in the day

not distract a reader from the day at hand

this is dropping thoughts in the readers

way to pick them up and take them

with them

wherever they might go… 

sensing the change

sensing a change coming on

pushing through into another beginning

right where I began

all these journals

summer work to keep the mind sharp

pens and blank books for days

after school ended for the summer

to document the time away from learning

finally verbalized and unlearned

nearly a stranger by myself again

stranger than ever

hating the raging wars

still they begin new ones

merely twenty-four hours ago

sensing a change can’t wait for it to take over

giving my entire life a makeover… 

water meets sand

really just want
to write something
that might interest someone
showing when the mind
wanders someone might
want to read about it
always loved reading
random scribblings
of another's mind
proving mine isn't awkward
not even uncommon
just want to put down
something positive
get me through the day
then the night falls
at the feet of something
amazing and brand new
surely most thoughts
aren't even written
this doesn't stop me
of those thoughts written
some won't get read
merely skimmed over
like flat rocks on a peaceful pond
stand exactly where
water meets sand...

never knew

three hours late still puffin tough

most would have had enough

can’t explain why the thoughts won’t stop

and I will most likely keep walking

once I get to the top

might sit for a minute or even an hour

cool air rushes in through the window

with a quick shower

really fast moving straight through

finding a new thing every day that I never knew…

crazy thoughts from all directions

some of the thoughts might be specific but

times change in different situations

eye crossed tripping over feet still

feel the ground below standing knee deep in

crazy thoughts from all directions

but with a forward focus

not getting caught stuck behind

what is gone is gone and

you will be better without

might miss a conversation or two

think I might sink back into the mind

crazy thoughts from all directions

like change in everything I know

eye staring into future ideas

think I can push through

too much time spent pushing so

much thought…

absorbing knowledge daily

ready to make a move

can’t stop until eye see

home absorbing knowledge

daily putting down thought

because I think

and I don’t want it

to go to waste

won’t get caught up in the we

heard it on the news again tonight

WE are NOT and never have been

the decision of the STATE

aka the government

aka our (s)elected leaders

ready to make a move

for positive change absorbing

knowledge along the way…

their plans-war all the time

more time passes and what a mess more

than ever working to open eyes and minds

anything to reveal the truth behind it all or

else we are force to stand on lies

we don’t demand accountability we

need to realize our leaders never worked

to ensure our liberty safety and freedom

realize that both political sides support war & more destruction

neither side is working for peace

left or right war is still not the answer

or aggression at all being violent is not

right and every day they are improving their plans

will unfold as we still have to search for the truth

stop supporting the lying fools

the real enemy of humanity are the

wars that the leaders conduct to carry out their plans…

let freedom be

life can be a day full of questions who

is actually all knowing when it comes to

a history we all are a part of a strange

series of wars that seem to have no end shrug

of the shoulders as it has been going on too long

natural to be attacking foreign lands

and stealing resources for profit?

spontaneous revolts shot down

changes made but they all seem the same they

don’t benefit the people instead only the powerful

resist the belief in all the lies told by

them that create fear and control the narrative

that biggest lie might never be admitted

only more laws rules fee and fines

creates a control grid with conditioning

sorrow weighs heavy on the mind of many

let freedom instead live in the heart and mind

reality is still ours to create

be here now not tomorrow or yesterday

reality is ours!—create!

let freedom guide with art and many other

things that make up this collection of thought

flow without any pressure

naturally progressing and watching the main stream stasis

forward only up and beyond

in the heart and mind dwelling

whatever is done individually done louder

way back into the folds of the mind

they want to stop our flow

like the strongest river power through

          —let freedom be our strength…

still don't believe a word

don't believe a word of it
don't support war of aggression
of any kind
everyone has the right to defend
but creating an enemy
in order to have someone
to be at war with
that's just grimy
not just that
this time the boogie man
ushered in the unstoppable
war on terror
but wait war is terror
is it 1984?
who writes the scripts
for these news readers
double speak has permeated the media
should we have to sift
through the news to find a little truth
and stay informed
a responsible media would report
the truth instead
we have a media selling us more fear
more reasons to continue
multiple wars of aggression
we have a media garnering support
for a military industrial complex
killing in multiple wars of aggression
we have a media that does not report
the truth and still preaches obedience
to a broken system and they will say
it's not broken but I still
don't believe a word of it...

probably pushing it

less than five months

four books of thoughts

published for the public

to consume criticize or condemn

need more eyes to see

give it a chance

not what one might think

most of those close take the time to read

and support the thought cause

true freedom within these pages

constantly changing but

always starting as blank pages

books given or bought

filling them for some higher

purpose possibly pushing poetry’s

definition but it’s what is done

question everything and anything

some thoughts haven’t even formed yet…

4th eBook of the Summer... THINK FOR YOURSELF

Click Here to Go Get IT NOW!!

think for yourself

hands reaching to the sky as it

comes crashing down

time’s up who is ready

whatever is next is unknown

faith is still a creation of man

as strong as it can be

man can tell a story long enough

it becomes accepted truth

not everyone hears the sound

one hand clapping louder

as the afternoon darkens

under clouds gray with doubt

logic remains the ruler of the mind

unknown whether I ever possessed

the required strength in faith

to be considered religious

maybe spiritual nothing more than

a thinker for myself

not ruling anything out

self-knowing hands-on in the mind

still swirling with confusion at times

some of the vast expanses may go unvisited

if limitations placed in the way of freedom

over all obvious contradictions the steps

that lead to a higher power imagine

view from pearly gates

or the fiery pit that is feared

and fearful people are easier to control

instead stand on logic’s stairs

and look both ways

as you take your steps

and think for yourself…

can only write so fast

the idea is never going away

most likely with me until I can no longer hold the pen

dangerous thoughts mostly hidden before written

man can only write so fast

to a steady eye it might still be a blur

any detail could be missed so pay attention

government will take advantage of complacency

is freedom what is lived or what is being waited for

the rest of my time I will be free

man can only write so fast

who do I really think I am

is freedom who I am or what I am waiting for

able to be anywhere anytime

to be limited in movement is to

think that I can’t move but I can

things are easy when I know I am free

out of the control of others as much as possible

for more than merely a moment by

himself a man can only write so fast

almost the end of another day they stack up

inevitably alone for now not forever

he can see all positive on the road ahead what

comes next welcomed even if unknown

to the mind pushing pens until they are out of ink

the freedom to continuously think any

conclusion will not come today

that will be further down this road somehow

the freedom needs to be taken back from

government thieves putting hands in pockets

he can only move so fast simultaneous

lives living for that freedom

under watchful eyes freedom is under fire

is freedom who you are as well—don’t be

dishonest with yourself—it’s probably

insane to not want freedom

and know it is

intolerable to never let yourself be freedom…

give me some truth

I hope people can really see the destruction

know that humanity is being destroyed

not the terrorists, the innocent protecting their houses

what rights do they have their neighborhood is destroyed

course of action is always war with no words

others fight the wars for some to profit from it

may only be monetary or contractual but

take away the profit would war end tomorrow

but would they ever let war go to waste without profit

as Gaza lies in rubble and innocent lives lost

for the chosen race of god to reclaim land is it

me I don’t remember learning about a god that would

give land to one group and allow that group to murder ask

me what I would do for my family standing under the statue of

liberty frowning upon those who remain silent

or believe the propaganda shoveled our way

give me some truth is it only

me who thinks this is getting crazy as

death reigns down on Gaza…

new idea

a beautiful day even if no one notices

mind allowed to rest and explore

expanded by everything contacted through the day

by the end opinion hasn’t changed

a beautiful day even if no one notices

new ideas separate individuals from the collective an

idea adds to those of other individuals all

will enjoy true freedom

never give up on enjoying that beautiful day

go outside for a moment now

back on the ground looking up

to the sky as the clouds hurry on by

it’s another beautiful night

original thought stolen from the

dimension in which I dwell…

July eBook is here...WHEN YOU GET THERE WRITE

my newest eBook is now available

CLICK HERE!!

cover art is a painting by my brother

Mat

burning the hollows of the mind

a year now tearing at these pages

probably not enough

trying to notice more

keeping the head up

looking around for a change

not merely a staying positive

at a glance doing it

in the style of Bukowski

rapid fire thought

burning the hollows of the mind

capturing every picture taken

stored piled on top of thoughts

becoming the inspiration

for future direction

or just simply to be memories

life can get exhausting

notice it more when forcing

the rest to happen more often

not what anyone might expect

found the time clear the mind

and recognize the first thought

in that moment of freedom

understand daily the importance

of independent thought…

silver skies thin air

closed eyes surround sound

the air is thin outside

in the heat rising to the silver

sky now basically the normal

above the head scene

no one else notices

willful ignorance

too busy to notice

and forget the call

the one you’ve been waiting for

more pressing issues

at hand closed eyes

the secluded mind

listening to the news

that no one wants to hear

probably why

no one turns the page anymore

can’t write words for shut eyes

and most likely will not read them to you

nothing wrong with that

eyes open unless it involves a little thought

might have to unravel the mind

or just let it go

long enough to wonder why

or why not take a few moments

you know you have a few

and I guess I might be selfish

because I want a few of them too…

obstacles to crash

some days reaching down deep

never deep enough

the hole dug is too deep

escape through the floor

lie on the floor

melt into and through the floor

roll over outside inside

keep changing the spot always

hearing whispers but realize

finally those are the thoughts

when the pen rests

on the table or in a pocket

where I go when I rest

in a pocket of peace

can create nearly anywhere

somewhere want to be somewhere

so many places this mind

needs to see chained to a job

how strong stuck mentally

in mud pushing forward

never quite out of the mud

the mind makes obstacles to crash

through everyday all day

made it through another day

positive thoughts sharing them profusely

somewhere out there

someone will get it…

perfect for skipping rocks

a mission to turn

someone else onto

the thinking that

there is a better way

back when I was young

thoughts were simple

ideas stacked up

knock them down

learned a lot and unlearned more

since back then when everything

was simple like the day

and beautiful like the night

and who is writing it down

for people like me

want to think

and that’s exactly what I do

but what am I doing

poetry or random thoughts

no longer filled with anger or sadness

left it in the pages behind

forward progression

the positive struggle

to leave the world a little better

than when I found it

find it still every day and night

knowing most people aren’t thinking

for themselves or about hurting each other

but what do I know where do I go

grew up reading too much

listening to the original street music

as it was born big boom boxes

and even bigger headphones

heavy bass and even played drums for a bit

never dropped the pen though

unless to the page like the needle to a record

simple ideas to end the day

couple of cardinals in the tree

and a family of rabbits in the brush

hardly alone in this place near the still pond

no wind perfect for skipping rocks…

looking across the pond

reflecting

the sky above the pond

slight ripple right

across the surface

can’t really label this anymore

it has no real definition

simply put whatever comes out

thoughts pushing pen across

the page slight ripple right

in the hand collecting

arming the self for resting days

sandwiched between non-stop

busy days in the workplace

sometimes an under the skin

annoyance to have to waste half the day

how else does one survive

the other half putting words down

on pages for others to contemplate

or maybe just to settle my own mind

in this chaotic world…

new eBook for June FIRST BORN

new eBook available today!

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/446962

night before sunrise

wonder if I will rise in time

to see first light

everything is covered

with pollen dusty yellow

roads and cars and trees

wonder if he will have breakfast

alone again standing at the railing

melting the brain through the pen

moving slightly to the sounds

in the ears responsible

for at least half the inspiration

other half is completely visual

and it is the reason he believes

words on the page still have a purpose

no need to be plugged in

to open up a book

“I am not much of a reader…”

it’s what he constantly hears

give it a try again

for the first time maybe

what will be lost

a little time and a few thoughts

might not use them anyway

as long as the sun rises

these words can be seen

wonder if I will rise in time

to see first light…

first born

they tell me the seed was planted north of the border
on a camping trip to New Brunswick
how many others have this kind of information
always wondered if this little known fact
makes me Canadian by conception
the idea that started the strong family unit
first born I am part of it
son of a nurse and a teacher
don’t think I could have picked a better combination
and it wasn’t long before I had a brother and a sister
the five of us are tight like a fist
raised high like some praise
respect love encouraging individuality
none of us are the same
the outstretched five fingers
connected to the same hand
one love never showing my appreciation enough
want to dedicate all my thoughts
any success or fortune found
because of the strong foundation
on which I stand
through all the misfortune and mistakes
and nearly forty years never so much
as scratched the foundation
on which I stand
determination as first born
to produce something for the future
and since I have no child I will
leave no thought behind
putting words down as daily as possible
father gave me his pensive wisdom
mother nurtured me caringly
brother taught me introspective adventurous compassion
sister is happiness’ faithful determination
and I am first born
the least I can do is write it all down…