all I can do

all I can do is document it
as it comes at me
in spurts of course
used to be tight and strong
like a fist back porch battling
at the chess table burning trees
Brockton philosophy at it's finest
and now that has gone away
controlling the conversations now
in an uncontrollable fashion
can barely get a word in edgewise
not that you would remember
all I can do is document it
after all the calls and ones
where you threaten someday
you'll end it all in a public blaze of glory
and all I can do is wonder if you know
how stupid you sound
hopelessness I feel you there brother
but it's mostly a lie
everything you know is built on
the fear of failure
so much so that you cannot see the success
in your life and what might it take
to really wake you from the sleep
that consumes your day to day
and you are ready to be done
nah I think that is the poison talking
through your voice you know it takes over
it's not real but all I can do is document
and what right do I have to judge
when you want help you know who to call
but you don't call for help you call to let me know
how bad it is and you want an audience
told me yourself along with other threats
and imaginary situations that don't
even make sense and then the call ends
as the phone cuts out
who knows when I will hear again
all I can do is document it all...