wanna know

woke up from a dream and found blood in my hands
would not come clean
crystal water would wash if I could
find my way to the sink
—ing deeper into a sleepless nightmare I ride
to the edge of town is so sharp I almost cut myself every time
I have dreams like
this never go away…

back to sleep on my back side
to sliding down the rope at the end of the black rainbow
and arrow shooting stars into my eyes
are tearing up
the rug to find the money I plastered behind the wallpaper
pound the nail into my flesh crawls
to a drum beat far away…

wanna know what I think about
time spinning me silly silly boy
he is not getting what he desired
to be or not to be what I want I cannot see
through the ceiling wondering what the sky looks like
from where I lie again
and didn’t mean it sounds so silly
to want to run on the phone wire above the busy street
like that squirrel fell and barely escaped the wheel of tragedy…

wanna know something else
is probably more exciting
to be famous is not an option
that comes and goes out through
after digesting all your babble, babble
and blah, blah, blah, not listening, no, can’t hear you
don’t wanna know what
I see would make your head spin
on an old refrigerator box you got from the store
closed on Sunday,
day to pray, day to pray
on your knees
dirty old men march mouth open drooling
c’mon they can’t help it…

wanna know what I know now
nothing ever seems as easy
to get lost in all the things we like
this like that like I know like it is really like
hard to like know what I am like saying
I don’t think I like it anymore
than getting skin graph surgery with a rusty vegetable peeler
scratching the surface
Friday night belly ache in my mind state of confusion
clouds come crashing thunder thump, thump, thump…

wanna know, bet you do
the things we all say we do
not know but we know more than we lead on
the cross where I hung with pins and needles
poking my toes are asleep, am I dreaming again,
guess not, pinch me, yes I am awake
and two by my side know who I am nothing,
nothing, nothing no one
making you someone and
they are all the others
gather grass to feed the meat we eat
yummy…

wanna know who I am I think you know
me read about me once twice
three times I’ll save ya,
disciples gave me eyes and ears
pierced empty holes and promises
to be a better day tomorrow
will come soon so cheer up you grumpy little brat
—still on the sidelines breaking bread,
they don’t know me because I am in disguise
and grandma didn’t spoil me rotten
vegetable I put my finger through
kind of mushy—had enough?
you’re not getting down that easy
even I am not that lucky and I
was your imaginations mind playing tricks on
your soul will survive my reading out loud
until you bleed out your ears
don’t like my voice should I sing a song
that I don’t know the words to
you I am silly…

wanna know what I think
I think
I think too much sugar drinking melted coffee candy bar
saw you sitting fat man drinking beer
to satisfy the urge to be addicted to something
tells me I don’t quite know
what I am going to do
what I want to do
not disturb sign behind closed doors
I make you confess your sins
will be your down fall
to another season and springing up
when you hear what I know
you have come to the end of another side
tried and tried to hold onto the handle bars
I always knew I didn’t need my hands
are tied to the horses running wild
wind blowing bubbles in clear liquid
sweating as I laugh at you
are such a fool to think I wouldn’t find out
of my mind onto this page
nothing without my words
still sound silly to you
hate it when I read out loud
I scream you scream
when standing in the middle of a circle
drawn in sand in my eyes
my next door neighbor when I was six called me crazy…

wanna know more
words keep coming out through my pen
as I cut the flesh of this
leave me alone in a silent movie
I never saw so many eyes bug out of head
or tail and I still lose the race
small child cry little baby Boris
go to sleep and dream
drawn down in a book borrowed
a thought or two
many walls thick with thought I knew
what I was dreaming about
time for a changed mind again
I am not me not me complexity
you still wanna know me as I stumble
looking for numbers keep counting down from thirty minutes
until I can’t take my hand out of my eyes
are blurry once or twice I might get a little scared of the things
I see what you ignore me as I read this out loud
car outside watch me laugh it up
in the air I breathe is not holding the strings anymore
to say what I mean well I guess I don’t know…