build on today

hyper vigilant watch
when on the road now
a new kind of social paranoia
brought on by whatever
angry at the onset of a new hurdle
although doing well at ignoring
the inconvenience hyper
in a lot of aspects
each day building on the success
today and everyday forward
a new sunrise with new eyes
no distractions and ridiculous
daily habits wonder gone
understanding now what
the getting ready was for
hyper-attentive to the needs
of those around me
ones once considered family
blood always proves thicker
the red water fooled me for awhile
how far have I come
further in eleven months
then the previous five years…

still not quite used to the quiet

even now expecting to hear something
but nothing sounds so much better
all those three word lies told
conditioned to believe
to make me believe
until it was just that
make believe not truth
even loneliness is better than
all that make believe
enough to make you distrust
everyone but don’t
it’s okay if you do
just build on today and
tomorrow will be easier to welcome…