at the end of another year
tendency is to look back
at the previous twelve months
to reflect on where one has been
what has or has not changed
everyday struggling to not look back
only straight ahead
even if alone drowning in it
better than that land of make believe
wasted too much time
blinded by something I cannot explain
how I was tricked fooled myself
thinking I was loved respected appreciated
none of which was true
probably always a facade
as the last nine proved
luckily I landed alone damaged but
more myself than ever
siddhatha sitting by the river
hearing the mighty om
detached and letting everything just drift
far from the mind forced meditation
self healing and letting go of the hate
it rose within me
letting go of the anger
it keeps me lonely
losing the chess game is never easy
but in losing somehow winning
no longer seems important compared
to what is learned in defeat
everything in life is temporary
nothing very good or very bad
lasts for very long and my tears
no longer sadness overcoming me
merely smoke in my eyes
as I burn through thoughts
and trees smudging out
every hallway and room in my mind
let it go and let it wander...
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