JA Prufrock revisited

314/1998

in that room they came and went
while Michelangelo’s back stayed bent
until the chapel masterpiece complete
and the women, would I ever meet
with their beautiful but judging eyes
they kept me distant with their sighs
retreat alone off to grow old
alone in the chapel it’s dark and cold
yellow smoke stained window has kept it’s tinge
the heavy door stares with one rusty hinge
freely swinging, never tied to this place
still look to the glass and the face
opposite direction is more appealing
look to the alter where once I was kneeling
asking the question “do I dare?”
not much matters of baldness or hair
why did I not ask the question in reverse
how could a question disturb the universe…

still in the room they came and went
and all that I said I know I meant
now I question myself and why
not one of them did catch my eye
wondering if it would’ve mattered
some months passed and stained glass shattered
for all to see on the marble floor
my eyes can’t move the rusted door
inside unmoved the mind kept quiet
outside the sounds showed me the riot
outside is where the women went
I lost my chance with back still bent
on looking to the roof
thoughts and things, I lost the proof
there was a day when I was young
but no message sent or song to be sung
now this voice can’t hold a tune
and no one to hear it except the moon…

still in the room where they have come and gone
it was all a game and I was the pawn
cannot say if I missed the boat
my hair wore thinner and I sold my coat
all because I was so afraid
all of the mistakes that I have made
the wrong decision yet again
counting backwards start from ten
reached just one, but nothing’s changed
now my thoughts I rearranged
not so young, not quite old but
I unrolled my pants and had to cut
the end
still no message prepared to send
to the women standing while I felt fear
afraid to bring myself too near
thought I was the fool, too much—too much
what was it then their look their touch
something kept me in my place
questioning all both time and space
moving to the ocean side
but they hear me coming and the mermaids hide
feeling fear again, then I don’t
they think I’ll drown, but that I won’t…