to paranoia

pain in my gut
tells me to watch my back
never turned
from happiness
to paranoia…

thieves are around
the corner I watch
waiting to see
so many smiles
only from a distance
never when I am close 

enough to see eyes
always watch those around
the corner in turn
writing to paranoia…

keep your friends close
your enemies closer
who is who
how can I distinguish
good from bad and right from wrong
to accuse but it is better
to be double-crossed
by agents of disaster

speaking no elevated tongue
to paranoia…

walls are pushing on
all sides can’t hide
my thoughts alone
deserving no better
ungrateful because
of my other self
un-trusting because of the
beaten road I left behind
a trail of corpse-like memories
and they still look alive
kill them again
a warning to paranoia…

can go for years and you can’t
go for weeks without desire
crushed can’t move again
sounding as if I have a problem
starts to brew
a storm from deep inside
the furnace I’ll wait
by the brook realizing
I would be better off dead or alone
then I would never get to the point
of no return the borrowed books
lines on the fence counted twice
hitting the wall and it isn’t soft
pillow beneath my head
in the box it better burn
only way to extinguish paranoia…