Thursday noon

so close to the edge

hoping not to fall
rise up above
but feeling so small
the thoughts that rage
and notion that I'll never fit
into the puzzle of life
but I won't quit
escaping necessary
in order to find peace
cross legged on the floor
and the rage will soon cease
expose all my wounds
despair
and all of the thoughts
leading me to not care
about myself
in the least bit
haunted by that feeling
might never fit
and it's a feeling
won't soon get
it's like swimming
without getting wet
bet all your money
or better yet mine
something will assist
wait for the sign
to tell the tale
still really not sure
and when we stop caring
we will be here no more
no more of this
and way too much of that
remember five years
right there where I sat
seeming so long
flying so fast
positively feeling
as if the time would last
not long enough
cannot sit still
feet still planted
on the window sill
with all of the plants
growing strong
like the will to go on
but will it last long
as the hair grows
out of my head
worry not much
just thinking instead
upon departing
what do they say
never felt wanted
they want me to stay
and not move
the spot found
no one is here
upon turning around
in my sleep
never quite reaching a dream
and this reality is
exactly what it seems
so simple when
put into words
different somehow from
those I once heard
the news but
know not what it said
everything living will
someday be dead
this doesn't sadden
but a far look ahead
some kind of goal reached
when we are dead
still unsure
and may have it all wrong
sorry to disappoint
held captive too long. . .