Saturday, January 7, 1995

i am sent

as I ponder the past I am sent
down a rocky road, myself, I am spent
so many people, not all are gone
I think about now, a place I am drawn
so secure with the flower I picked
on its stem no thorns have pricked
my fingers, as I touch it so slow
asked about happiness, I think I know
no need for a match, the fire is burning
I go to sleep, but my mind wheels are turning
never have I been in such a place
never will I need to see another face
a smile as wide as an ocean or two
I smile as soon as you come into view
eyes are so deep, falling in every time
hair so long, such an urge to climb
pale skin so smooth, want to be touched
when all alone, I am lonely and such
picture it finally alone at last
never worrying about the past
dreams of your soul, forever next to mine
awaking in the morning like the sun with a shine
flattering remarks until I am no more
if life’s a game, I don’t know the score
I could not fathom you not being here
you are my guide and you help me steer
anything at all, I will do with pleasure
your presence alone, I’ll always treasure
accept me for me and don’t let me go
what I am capable of... I really don’t know
someday soon it’ll be me and you
someday soon you’ll see all I say, true
not realizing, it’s only the start
don’t exactly know what will open my heart
look into my eyes and past what you see
see into my soul and let yourself free
a lonely flower in a sea of weeds
don’t have the answers, just a few leads
travel with me and you may feel pain
from all the down time knowledge we gain
thought I saw once, I was mistaken
this is the first time, and I am not breaking
searching so hard, someone to share my tree
if I stop searching, will they find me?
will it be luck, or a twist of mere fate?
I cannot worry or anticipate
building a castle far from the shore
no wave can reach me, slamming the door
look past my flaws and see my soul cry
For all that it weeps, no tear in my eye
Searching through questions, but answers are few
Wishing for something, wishing I knew...

Thursday, December 1, 1994

weeping trees

1201/1994

dance beneath the midnight sky
weeping trees, clouds that cry
pale face rocks, sand so brown
not knowing if I wear the crown
piercing skin, blood so red
dripping out until I am dead
burnt brown grass cracks under foot
take this crown, on your own head put
let me rest in the throne, for so long I sit
take my crown, but it might not fit
soar into the diamond sky
Lucy in your head, you are so high
moth eaten dreams, filling them in
clear your eyes, mind with no sin
stone your brother for not being there
cut out his heart, he will not care
the insect reptile mammoth flower
doesn’t know when he needs a shower
cheated in innocence, raped with fire
the first born grandchild, too much desire
searching the sea for an island to land on
looking under rocks for a pedestal to stand on
kill the lizard, if he is not gone
no need to ask which planet you are on
save the ivory or live with pain
for all your sins are gone with rain
7145 days gone by for me
I’ve so far, found only one tree
I’ll be back when my mind clears up
fill it with blood, my only cup
follow until I am all but dust
bring your thoughts from behind if you must
the white wall cell, I live no more
the enemies within have settled the score
I am free, I move like clock-work sorrow
take from me, steal not, just borrow
Ahab comes and finds his whale
but when he died, did he fail?
hell bound ship, swirling above
no hell below if we all love
all destroyed or could I be wrong?
take all you want, but leave me my song
sing to me and stay for a few
until life is over, the life we knew...

Sunday, October 9, 1994

sad are the eyes

1009/1994

sad are the eyes and
no end will come soon
life is over
existence never made sense anyway
smoke suffocates suddenly
spinning backwards somehow
keeping it down.
spinning for the last time then falling
time has stopped
the clock batteries must be dead…

Sunday, November 8, 1992

nonsense

1108/1992

Sometimes I wish I could start all over

I find myself wishing on a four-leaf clover

Mostly things never go my way

There is always tomorrow, it's a new day

The end comes too fast, life is so short

Some treat it like it was a joke or a sport

Only out to have their fun

Why does the kid in the corner hold a gun?

What is the need is it for power?

Is this the time or even the hour?

The day, the hour surely draws near

But he has a gun and nothing but fear

If he had a chance to start new and begin

You know it like I, he'd do it again. . .