Tuesday, May 23, 2006

ton of books


two flames on the table
before him and the place he drops
his thoughts down like a ton of bricks
books rather
how many thoughts until he runs out
he has already spun dizzy enough to be
invisible on a pedestal
in the middle of nowhere

one flame stands still
and the other jumps from the wick
with the sound of a helicopter above
somewhere to be really fast no messing around
the dog barks as if it will attack
anyone who enters
understandable it's his heritage
maybe he is mistaken in thought
the candles are there as symbols of power
beyond his control putting down the sticks
as he was told they would be his death
to late it may be almost June
the back porch at night makes his nose cold
as if it were March

the two flames suddenly join in jumping
and somehow coordinate with the sound
of a jumbo jet and three birds singing
above clouds and a colorful sky
from the sun setting on the horizon
as if it would set somewhere else
the pen skips and spins in his fingers
as if he has a deadline and it's been almost ten years
since his last assignment he knows he should go back
even if only to see what it is he might be missing
but it's only a bridge and he heard that they
tore it down to build a tunnel...


not quite blue

partial blue sky
for most of
the daytime hours
starting to drag
like heavy feet
not sure from which
side the
noise is coming from
cannot see anyone
anywhere
basement spot
blank gray
silver and black om…

Sunday, May 21, 2006

let it all drift


rest calls
late night from sister
fighting off the fear again
being alone more
powerful than she knows
but she knows as
she has been here before
the lonely road
funny how it becomes
crowded at times
didn't mean to raise the voice
sound too loud
how the guru teaches
humble oneself
let everything drift away
more yourself in solitude
found like pennies in the well
even the water comes down in buckets
how do they say
reach for the day...

thought Jackson

the train rolls into town
that's how I know the time
prayers for Jackson
all night in the rain
the days when
his father lived here
which one how many
until now roll of dice
howl of the wind
positive or negative silence
thought Jackson
all night in the rain
well after it stops
another phrase I won't use here
the train headed north bound
can't wait to get home
wherever that may be
strange as night
lasts longer than usual
deeper breaths
more confusing swirling
like soap down the drain
thoughts on Jackson
all night in the rain
never met hope to soon
strong Jackson
pull through will to live
so young life
and the chessboard
becoming one
what's the next move
forward until ultimate strength
attained thoughts on Jackson
possibly not for this world
not this time prayers
meditations and salutations
every day deliver the strength
poor Jackson pull through...

across then down


a bit harder to push the pen
across then down the page
rain down the glass
light dark and light again
as if it can't make up it's mind
literally speaking in circles
until dizzy and tired curls up
for a nap left leg already there

more of a challenge to avoid the blue pack
and somehow it's easier than planned
an uphill battle with no traction to climb
reading Angela's Ashes everyday someone
trying to live the drunken lifestyle
more of a challenge to spit and take over sober
much easier on everyone around
even the lot of us
who couldn't care any less
amazed by drunken stupidity
even if only in stories and people
never known and there is a reason
for that someone to remain anonymous
until he loses everything
we will laugh
but it's mostly sad to see
someone destroy themselves...

add a light to the equation

down the stairs
in the basement
colder than the rest of the house
even approaching June
darkness starts to turn down
today’s light
shining from behind the clouds
deck of cards spread on the table
queen of hearts peeking
from behind greens prepared
before dinner or after
he will soon need to add a light
to the equation
unfortunately spring will be late
once summer gets here
surely a trip to the beach
is well over due
months since last touched
sand with feet
and rocks collected for the island
in the moss of the backyard
why will the sunshine
not stay all day
down below the rest
a little cooler for the om
cement seated meditation
new spot required
change everything and
start new…

Thursday, May 18, 2006

follow every sound


sitting in silence only the breath
and two open windows
trying to follow every sound
as if blind every sound indeed
has it's story distracted
by distant phone rings
around silver Saturn sitting
waiting for tomorrow
and it's already here
every noise as if it could tell no lie
in silence with no goal but to win
has always been an objective
battle everyday on the sound
of one chirping night bird
high above everything
might also want to follow every sound
to the source wherever it might be
back tomorrow same place at midnight
song high above it all
would most likely make a great hunter
and amazing that one lonely late night
bird follows every sound
still sitting in silence...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

nearly underground

they say it will get easier
as we pass eight
another cement wall
om meditation
flat back on the floor
nearly underground
actually below the ground level
the street extends
and voices will be heard
all night long exhale
inhaling the smoke
from where I sit
voices could be in the backyard
sounds so close
again at the beginning
of something ending
simultaneous
and nerve racking
patiently stressed
intended to stretch
flat back on the floor
even on cement
still meditation…

Saturday, May 6, 2006

cement wall meditation

cement wall meditation
strain in the right leg
upside down makes
it all a little different
breathing in and out
relaxing like it’s the seventh day
cement wall meditation
and anything is possible
maybe it’s magic
would anyone know
it’s all a little different
lost in perception
or translation
never knowing what is said
back to former moments
never lost
cement wall meditation
battle nightly
the prison the mind
can become
and does who can escape
through the wall
no pain no thought
no thing
day seven picking up the pen
at last standing and sitting
fracturing every thought
beyond repair
unrecognizable to some
only hope is to
forgive and rebuild
all thought lost
found seventh day
cement wall meditation
midnight on the mind
my brother…

Tuesday, May 2, 2006

nothing concluded 166

waited ten hours
finally something rose
to the surface
must’ve been
all today’s rain

rewriting things
nine years old
same title
what is the purpose
nothing concluded

desperately seeking
truth as if it’s
the next breath
and he’s been
underwater too long

the sirens will go
on all night long
if he was to stay
up and listen
he won’t

he need to breathe
more cleansing air
and it won’t be easy
everything must
change

eventually it’s nature’s
way the world changes
beneath him as he
sits in his wet clothes
nothing concluded

it’s impossible
to sit idle
while stagnant words
waiting for edit night
two hour red pen session

rewriting becomes
too strong description
merely adjusting
the view he thought
he had back then

for now
he know it’s
getting late
the neighborhood
house lights going dark

is there anyone else
who thinks
this much
and puts this much thought
down nightly

(if he can)
he will succeed
and plead his case
after midnight
if necessary…

and the book

 
only been here four years
and I am no landscaping professional
somehow I have been able to change
the way things look a little
I could use a new fence but the one I have
has lasted so long it is a shame to disregard
such a landmark trimming branches
and removing dead wood this has allowed
the choked out trees room to breathe
some of the nightly noises are hard not to notice
and identify with quickness some mysterious midnight melody
constructed by mixed by arranged by mother nature
or weather what's the label you choose tonight
when midnight murmurs mysterious noises continue
until I close the door and the book...

Monday, May 1, 2006

wind rattles glass

putting my head down on my porch table
as if it were a desk in some boring classroom
back up to the sounds of the night all around
wind rattles the glass on the thirty year old porch
it might take me that long to get my head on straight again
if in fact it was ever on at all
maybe it became dislodged and I didn't notice
putting my head down wondering when it will all make sense
and the enormous wind will die down a bit
will I be able to find the story of tonight
despite the wind and the rain threatening
will it come before sleep tonight...

Saturday, April 29, 2006

dull & old

just a stray thought
or two stuck up in the skull
not as sharp as he should be
his shine is actually
quite dull

took a quick walk with the dog
outside it's still a little cold
looking to the sky
the stars
feeling a bit old...

Friday, April 28, 2006

early evening

still can't get
a really nice spring
day only one flower red
(as these irie eyes)
beneath the huge maple
tree out in the back
looking at the shadows
on the grass and listening
to the wind through
the corners of already
open windows
brings on a memory flashback
twenty years pass
as if it were only minutes ago
where does all the time go
when it's here with him
it passes slow
he closes his eyes
and time speeds by
with no regard for how fast
he might be able to write
and catch up...

it's got to be getting
close to when
the clock tower bell will
strike once
his own bell in the corner
privately sounds
a call to thought
as random as can be
will be pulled into the middle
of the street if need be...

birds changing tune

the bell hangs below
and will bring one's mind
to the attention of one's
consciousness he never
minded sitting at the table alone
as long as he can keep
an eye out the window
at all times

the rock pile grows
when first viewed
every spring today
was the first day he actually
remembered to check the growth
of his pet project back yard
beautification and the fan spins
keeping the unhealthy air
at least circulating
a slight fresh breeze mixes
in through two open windows

birds sing different tunes
depending on the time of day
how do they keep it
watches on feathered wrists
or something a bit different
and amazingly enough he can see
his reflection in the end
of his silver pen with black ink

the bell calls the writer
to the inner consciousness
he trains to capture any
inner work that goes unnoticed
throughout the course
of any day someday and now

the sun has shifted
into the spot where
it will make it's descent
below the horizon still
some hours away
done so much and nothing
all in the same day
can anyone else tell
or is he still alone in the room off
the back of the house

the bell sitting
not-so-high above
his hanging position
can anyone else see
the crazy comfort he enjoys...

Thursday, April 27, 2006

nothing concluded 165


he’s probably going
to talk about
the day until
it comes and goes
without catastrophe
 
plan already in the
works (or the appearance
of one) to stop
everything
nothing concluded
 
where in the Bible
still searching
and wondering
six oh six
oh six
 
does it mean
anything now
or coming this
summer ?
nothing concluded…

what's at the end

no one has the front door view
he does and when no one is
around he might stare at
the pictures kept in his mind

it's too late to make another
pot of coffee and the arm is
beginning to cramp slightly it's
probably because of the chill tonight

so far from home he must
miss it all and little ones
still too young to know
any difference at all

he's not paranoid he lives
in the middle of nowhere
someone has got to go a long way
out of the way to find

what's at the end there
a neighbor or passing by listener
nothing better to do late on Thursday
what's that

no way to stop what is
destined to arrive someday
the pages might turn a little
faster and no one will have any cash

silence isn't actually here
at the moment (electric heater
battles the chill) you wouldn't be
either if you had the chance
—you do

half picture half drawing
artistic leave behinds treasures
to the pen pushing mad man
behind fifteen blinds

it might be completely fabricated
like the lines extending right
off the page like the porch
he sits within these pine walls

he writes and someone in China
could read it tomorrow
it is just how the world works
these days unlike any other
—what's at the end...

even if he should

without the slightest hesitation
beginning again
almost as if
he never stopped never will
even if he should
to look the other way
and see if anyone
happens to glance back
his way

without flinch at all
he is hit in the face repeatedly
with punches
somehow he
doesn’t fall and feels no pain
jaws drop in amazement
no one knew
the mountain he needed to
climb to find the clean air
act as if you didn’t know
if you did
without an end
or until it ends
all over again starter
page one
everyone knew
despite what they are telling
you how many pages
later are you going to realize

without consequences
they will probably continue
to lie for another two years
who will be the next
(to do the lying)
for the whole world to see
an absolute joke…

Friday, April 7, 2006

edgewise stagnation

a word in edgewise
plenty of time
mind plays the stagnation
card as if there was is will be
a chance to beat the dealer
who will meet this ominous figure
a word on midnight sessions
smoke filled but no one around the room
empty but over flowing with thought
a word to the wise improvise
make it work what ever it might take
until midnight or later
then later still a word
confused still able to turn
pages and flip the pen and cigarette
simultaneous at times
thoughts will start stop
in the middle of the night
begin and end with a strange spring haze
hanging low in the basement...

Wednesday, April 5, 2006

nothing concluded 164


in order like
paperwork
sent off with
checks to pay
living expenses
 
in order
to climb out
of the deep hole
four five six
all day long...

Sunday, March 5, 2006

nothing concluded 163


who knew it would
take all ten years
to figure out what I knew
then no now
when and how
 
lost but found ten years
the experiment
proved nothing concluded
it's all predictable
downward plunge
 
noticed the stars tonight
and the first quarter
blocked three out
with our globe
thought you would want
 
to see it too
I know it's cold
but just me and you
under the stars
one a night like this
 
I couldn't think
of anything more
romantic—too cold
so I remain
nothing concluded...

Friday, February 17, 2006

nothing concluded 162

another night of
frozen tears
thirty degree
drop in twelve
hours time
 
sun rain and wind
then darkness
overhauls the whole
confusion the moon
shines it's closest star
 
face bright night's version
of blue sky—black
nothing concluded
confused honestly painting
poetic prose
 
on lined canvass
put a call in to whomever
might listen this time of night
they said you would
know by now
 
fourteen years
and you would think you
would learn something else
five years of higher education
out behind the public pool
 
frog pond nearby
married now
degree still bachelor
ninety-eight
too hot for the page
 
confusing confusion
with understanding
war with peace
liberation with annihilation
safety with ultimate control
 
how many liberties
will be lost without
full disclosure
on subjects
never investigated
 
random scattered
pieces of history
erased because
the nature of the beast
is hidden evil
 
nothing twenty-two years
ago didn't tell us
before we know it
windows turn to bars
and not the kind that'll serve you
 
overpriced and under aged
would it ever matter how
many die all part
of the tail the dog will
never catch nothing concluded...