thought between rooms

half as much as I would like to be is
twice as much as I am
so I have a lot to accomplish
think it came to me standing
without pen in hand
stored just a moment
and a thought not entirely connected
to anything like a stray thought
came to me moving between rooms
seems like every night
finding a different place to sit
find a different light to use
illuminating ideas onto pages
told the kids to question everything
that they cannot prove themselves
maybe I am wrong still believe
telling them the truth is the best option
and of course only my opinion
but be one in one million
whatever that might mean to them standing
in the kitchen where I grew up
except completely different now
it might be more about being aware
and using logic and reason
still I might be wrong
not exactly a shining example of a success story
unless success is doing what I want
follow the wooden path or brick or blaze my own
asking questions the entire journey
wherever it leads the mind
take it further and farther if I let it go
realizing what remains
after all have settled in
the only one left awake...

his new black hat

my new black hat
isn't even black
it's gray the black ones
are all older
simply an example
of the random nature
the way things in my mind
go down when simply
putting the pen down
and letting it go
making a go of it
whether it works or not
must be a matter of time
something about watching
a bee emerge from under some wood
once the sun dried it out
long enough and nothing to do
with the black wool on the head
but brought smiles all around
no one else asking how
I might spend the rest of my day
wishing only to finish another
hoping someone will find something
here and then it spreads like warmth of the sun
the wind picks up the hood on my shoulders
didn't even need the sweatshirt an hour ago
too bad that work takes up so much time
need more time to enjoy all these

moments
today the thought
of a new black hat made me smile...

stand alone at night

stand alone outside
sun out of sight
night lights shine from above
since younger years
learned Orion's belt
three stars and since then
I can always identify them
remembered like my own name
enjoying the colored sky
turning to black
then the night lights show themselves
hard to imagine so far from eyes
still right there and an hour passes
they move a bit staying together
of course right before eyes
stand alone at night
no one to doubt what you see
and tell you another story
tell you this random life
is unimportant in the broad scheme
stand alone at night and recognize
the importance of that moment
in the history of everything
that has ever happened...

find the vault

still too cold really
to be sitting in the wind
trying still to get through
this volume of thoughts
for the future unsure
as to where I will leave the vault
you will be among the first to know
layered up like it's February
and all the snow is laughable now
they say we broke hundred year old
records for snowfall
what a feet as they say
watching the water over rocks
constant sound now
wishing the chill be gone...

mind eternal

the other side
might be able to explain
the thoughts closest
pulled on the hardest thoughts handled
to give in is to give up push on
being stubborn being myself
in and out of conscious thought
self control heightened
when depended upon the most
we forget and we remember to forget again
will purpose reveal itself again
ever to be challenged in every way
be that as it might inspire movement
in every breath and word spoken
in silence deep thought progression
in unlearning that which prevents
this moment from forward movement
that which explains thoughts tangled
we sink further into the dream
to realize reality is staring us down
that visage on the other side
we stand amazed at insignificance
are these thoughts the messages
from the other side
not far away at all
right here in the mind eternal...

deep silence

when the silence is so deep
the thoughts stack like walls surrounding
rational ideas and things this
mind understands become lost
is that the moment searched for
silenced, thinking quietly hums
the mood and the air feel the same
intuitive as all movements are scrutinized and dropped
mode of selection and elimination
produces a point of extra understanding
an understanding reached within silenced thoughts
extraordinary realizations produce this
awareness to which I have nothing to compare...

settle into the hum

thrown right back into
the breakfast rush
remember it so well
from years passed
the noise is all around
in from all directions at once
and they all settle on a hum
with some crappy music
as the back drop
and really this might be
the apex of progression
sure everyone maybe coexisting
in this moment for whatever purpose
but what will the history books
of the future read like
assuming they won't be simplified
to the point of no return
or at least a return diminished
and so I sit and no one like me
contemplates existence in this moment
and above all I am probably wrong
someone else will stop
and notice something wonderful today
life living without human intervention
maybe it rarely happens
more importantly why
is that such a strange thought
last night standing in the back yard
despite the biting cold wind
watched an enormous branch break from
it's tree and smash to the ground
in the snowy woods behind the house
and neighborhood I often wonder what
the forest looked like before
all the neighborhoods cornered it by the stream
last I heard humanity hasn't the ability to control
the wind that made me swerve like a drunk
and above all I could be wrong
what do I know except that here I sit
in the city of champions in the middle
of so many complex things
yet somehow it's still simple to see
how simplicity itself is complex at times
how do I even know to breathe
and why don't I know the answers to my many questions
why do I listen to the voice whose words
I put on the page assuming it is my own
for reasons that should be obvious
sometimes surprisingly revealing
just for the desire to leave something positive behind
or ahead depending on where you stand...

cold cracks

spring starts to creep
each day less snow
to see
the ground below soaked
more melting to come
wind biting
standing without a hood up
always hoodie season
except maybe summer nights
this one might be a hotter hot
they say and like I say
they lie and okay snowfall record
broken was only 100 years old
spring always comes around
right after the coldest cold
cracks in all the ice below
the garden won't get a head start
this year might take a bit longer
spring is almost here
trying my best to be patient
and continue to do what I love...

built to understand

and I do tend to wonder
where the thoughts come from
it is I putting pen to page
but what puts the thoughts
in my mind to write
do I receive them right
to write or do I save them
for viewing later
in dreams dreaming quite
seldom if at all
last night found me at a casino
seemed as if I couldn't lose
but I don't remember gambling at all
a few friends and many strangers
or people I haven't met yet
in reality once reality brings sun
through slit shades
still tend to wonder where
all the dreams originate
is there something else
going on that we aren't
trained to see or built
to understand but it's my choice
to wonder or am I
merely picking up
where someone else left off...

inkwell runs dry

when the light is seen
it will help a sleeping mind
wake and one that woke will rest well
no longer use an inkwell
just thought of it
probably because a regular
pen will soon be obsolete
technology makes it so we no longer
have to write unless the desire is there
and here it is before it reaches your eyes
it's ink from my pen on a page
in a book someone gave me
so I would fill it with my thought
and I will try until my inkwell
runs dry...

smoke & ice

move around without incident free to be but what does that mean dinner alone at least no one is home this time move around still in the same place mind numb in the cold works great numb who would have said otherwise...

move around change it up a bit kick it up a notch as they might say don't know where any of them are we done here is this all that's left should have waited but somehow claiming to have plenty of time but none now when...
 
move around and pretend you don't see hear or whatever you do do it completely never sit to the side if you have a word listen but silence and light still now at dinner sign the lighter longer days ahead a long with cold nights still to bite early morning grind is what I make of it not allowing the mind to sleep either though it will get numb with thoughts and a pen just as fast just as fast...
 
see how easy that is Miz and that's that the great hunter had many great thoughts and one really bad one gone too soon but his inspiration torn upon like prey to lion's teeth until they drip slow under the twisted pen between numb fingers over smoke and ice across the yard reminded of the loudest fall ever heard might be what set it all in motion kept on moving...

year XL

breakfast with two
of my closest friends
year XL
meaning this year
should be extra large
on what?
unsure which direction
on the mission
to keep on walking
arriving back where I began
must continue while fighting
thoughts of back peddling
going nowhere
knowing this phase of the journey
begins inward studying trying
not to get wrapped up
mentally in the problem
but instead finding the solution
here in the year XL
more thoughts in front of more eyes
and honestly just need one
work think—think we are all thinkers
it's the year XL
write 'em all down...

blessing everyday

society can be peaceful and represent individuals
in different situations in thought in location
every one independent with the goal of freedom
state supervision exists with violent threats
is this the freedom do we desire protection
a society protecting themselves
blessing every day with positive thoughts
but truth cannot be ignored
government needs to be limited in its scope
in its purpose to be elected by the people
its people don't need to be controlled
best case is to keep official business organized
state business truly for the people
is that not the point when did it get away
but further when did it become
a joke that freedom to be individuals
necessary to turn to the self and examine
evil that invasive government has become
in its infancy it may have served its purpose
its invasion into every aspect of human life
worst case scenario it will never change
state will never give up its power and control
an amazing turn of events could prove
intolerable to their vice like grip
one day the sun will rise on new ideas...

fight stagnation

keep putting ideas down on paper
inking thoughts with words
trying to build something
let it be read
put them right there like
what are you up to
when you approach
these ideas these words and thoughts
cold winter as expected
random thought as expected
who would have thought
everyone paying attention
keeping the writing going
despite numb fingers
same location different time
mind has evolved from where it was
here before but without change
stagnation takes over
keep putting down my thoughts
to fight stagnation...

cage letters

when the idea is that of peaceful
there is no need to control all the riches
or any or some would be nice
only to make the work load less
much to be learned in letters back and forth
minds both free in life cages
some are those with doors left open wide
and one is that with locked doors
except to feed the birds
on the wrong side of the cage
when the idea is that of freedom
there is no need for recognition
shut doors need to be opened more
often than not at all
might slow down or even stall get caught up
in one of those life cages
never stop opening doors...

two in twelve

another one to start up
quick like a new car
sun shining cold still
biting in the air
out here clouding it up with ideas
and stories hardly created
and lost like conversations
that become forgotten
as objects flipped through
like a deck of cards
pick one put it back
let the car warm up in the morning
only ten minutes start it before
most even on days off
get the coffee going
hard to believe this being year forty
almost twice as many blank books filled
still sifting for the thoughts
someone will want to read
two brothers within twelve hours
told me to write a novel...

wait it out

listening to the backyard
waterfall unusually warm
letter from Shem
read and felt
his words do very well
conveying the locked up
feeling in the cage
defeating it with the mind
not letting the spiritual retreat
go barren it will flourish when
freedom shared
no longer merely in the mind
repositioning thoughts and emotions
they become the solid foundation
realized come spring where to go
now the decision has been made
to wait it out
the corners of the mind and the cell
transcended times do change
as the minutes pass
quickly and thankful
for the connection continued
with everything around
reminded by the man behind bars
if he can transcend the cage
then you get the picture
and I haven't even taken it yet
imagine that...

still beyond

all this time

just really want to find out

who I am probably

but I could be wrong

learned that in those gypsy years

stolen with all the jokerman’s music

lucky for the memories

and digital technology

the gypsy can rot now

as she did before eyes

fully opened six hours

all it took to undo

eighteen hundred and twenty-five days

time since spent rebuilding

where I once was and beyond

now seeing with more than eyes

understanding a different sight

one within and somehow still beyond…

seven years away

at twenty I think I knew

things aren’t actually as everyone around

seems to think or believe or accept

almost twenty years ago now

over sixty books filled with the most random

as crazy as Rodrigo thinks I am

wouldn’t change that questioning mind

the one that won’t accept the story

the way they tell it got to find truth

details hidden objected to the first war exposed to

couldn’t understand why teacher

seemed to believe the lies and not ask the questions

twenty years of war and economic roller coaster rides

nationwide guided my decision to get a job and keep it

younger than friends never followed the flow

sometimes even walked up stream and left everyone behind

as I wouldn’t walk away seven years away from this home base

possible the rest of the years spent here

so many have been so many places

possibly envious of that

got at least twenty years to work on what comes next…

under this stone

someone probably said it better

than this but still I

give it all I have pushing out thoughts

whether they are relevant or not

whether they even get read or not

that it matters to me might even be

secondary first of all get it on the page

detached from any rage

once felt now sun shining

down bright and new

warmth felt as if for the first time

hand goes numb from writing

for the first time since being back

home where I learned nearly everything

done here at one time or another

closer to the family proud enough

to bring me back always there

to help me find the track

to the greatness random and obscure

might still be unknown

climb high on the pedestal

kept under this stone…