what I am here for

dark rage on the streets
high in the tower
with some old school beats
pounding out some soul
de la that is
reaching common ground
someday that is
what am I here for
missed the turn detour
the round about way
get me right through the day
night rolls in with an attitude
and every voice I hear is rude
and those eyes won’t leave me alone
travel so far don’t even leave home
and it may just be
what I am here for
need I say more…

bad coffee

he knows you can’t see him
through those eyes now
tired and unsettled
ready to go dropping his hat
time and again picking it up
as if it would do any good
the stuff that fills his dreams
the stuff he tries to forget
believe it or not he knows
you cannot see him
with those eyes wide awake
and he sleeps through a silent alarm
and two cars racing
there is a fire burning so bright
and strong as he is burning too
like words on the tongue
he can’t speak he can’t say anything
but he knows you can’t see his words
or maybe would like others to appear
disappear and reappear in eyes
deep like dreams of eternity
whatever that may turn out to be
in a sleep so short like the hairs
on a nearly bald head
he knows you don’t see him
stuck here in the middle
of a sentence taking on the truth
through eyes so tired
awaking maybe meditating
over bad coffee
and three cigarettes…

sharing reality

remembering the young
he tries hard to look
deep into his eyes
they move fast like fish in a bowl
swirling and riding what's been created
a great roller coaster plunging deep
then rising high into the sunset sky
nothing but that moment exists
and now it's gone
who does he think he is being here
with that devilish hope that the sun
might rise again with some sort of spirit
renewed with a smile brighter than
most of the stars he might remember
might forget where he is for a moment
as the sky's color fades to black
capturing that final scene of each day
as if the catch might be able to explain
most remains enigmatic
the solution is to know
no one shares the same reality...

still shining

the sun still shines the same

not that much has changed

amazingly enough

so much is different

facing a quiet relief of sorts

the monotony was putting a strain

on the smile I used to carry

finally found again

still shining and it may be unreal

to think the way I do

who is here to tell me otherwise

and what would you say

if you were here

certainly wouldn't go out of your way

to disagree and that's just what I am used to

now that's gone and such a quiet relief

taking over where I was left

and all along I was damn right

knew it and couldn't convince anyone

what do they think now

don't wonder enough to ask

happy now where I am at still shining

even if I don't know where I am going...

known for sure

when it all changes

seems the same again

change again

right back at it

no one is here

this is all I know

write it down

think it out

there has got to be a way

better than

small pocket of time

all wrong in my mind…

wall bound

driving into a wall

betrayal and darkened

thoughts

against the wall

leaning and starting to unravel

a story

bike rides by

through a puddle

splash

against the wall…

two months later

what’s the purpose

what’s even been done

and who really cares

forgot that idea

as it was rightly ignored

and as I stumbled around

well known it wasn’t

going well

what’s the purpose

of the emotion

no one wants to swim in the ocean

maybe happiness

rather sink or in the sink float

never move up

go thirsty drinking

from a broken cup

believing a false reality

pretending it was all good

rather be lonely

then watch misery pretend

happy like walking backwards

through the gate

into a garden there

isn’t one flower left…

series of events

met one day

knew what I  thought

I knew

ended up not knowing enough

always coming around

entering the room

energy incomparable

miss that part

memories start to organize

series of events

spread over time

thought slide show

on the brain

starts in the car

after the movie

sling blade

good night kiss…

whaling from a kayak

the man in the kayak

spit grease on the rug

and because of that

he was asked about

the upcoming expedition

why has he never taken off his shoes

only wish is to see through walls

and make bird calls is what he said

he wouldn’t be serious and stand up straight

would make eye contact with anyone

cried that whaling had always been

like breathing for him

especially done from the kayak

sudden strangers

one week now

bare it all

familiar have become

sudden strangers

state of mind

not important

stand up straight

or sit and cringe

nerves banging on thoughts

bouncing around like

a pinball machine

internal and flipping out

reigns seized and a fall

beneath the wheels

might be unavoidable

losing when winning

is on the mind

or only in the mind

everything seems planned

how randomly wrong…

un-kept promises

the days

don’t get any easier

to catch

a glimpse of happiness

right there all along

the watchtower playing in the back ground

something keeping it here we go again

with another hope filled page

burned again

with no response

empty head

and promises

never expected to be

in every scene

don’t want to play

the loser…

tie dye swirl

speeding toward infinity

how do the bird

know where they came from

if they do know

what if they know more

dreaming in tie dye swirls

at times

the birds always find their

way back home

could’ve noticed something else

this is where I came to today…

even the wise

even the wise

can’t know what

to do all the time

posed with a problem

always trial and error

might lose grip

the first few times

balance could get thrown

reality can’t be taken lightly

even by the wise

will realize when reality

is being washed away

undertow pulling it

far from the shore

endless possibilities

are not always real

how many of the wise

know the reality

of this loneliness

that floods the surrounding region

the wise tend to not

know where to stand…

throw up on his shoes

gonna throw up

on your shoes

after hearing all the news

not in a good position

to be such a liar

how many before

leaving the post

what will be news

when you leave

not even accountable

for conflicts abroad

unless it’s under your desk

putting our soldiers in harms

way while you have fun

putting on your suit

and playing the role everyday…

on the leaving

circling silent streets

leaves bowing away from

shared space solitude sought

into a funnel

pouring the all of life

down it returns

night after night

standing in the doorway

dark night slow departure

impression on the glass

hours of rain finally ceased

imitation sunlight

clears the fog

the weight of emptiness

heart swept bare

mind won’t let it fly

from hands reaching up...

thinking I might

most of the time

spent thinking I might

someday understand

and that day may never come

skies seem clear

how would I know

must be something

retainable hold on

the something

yet to be found

who else shares

that determination

thinking I might…

random mindful circles

being so bright

it becomes

hard to see

making the best

from what is given

what is earned

nothing taken

without permission

walking collection of words

scattered from one end

to the other

moving around

random mindful

circles…

flashlight

thought caught

on a glimpse

of sunshine

it turns out it was

a very big flashlight

and it was a dream

turned off

once the dream ended…

summer comes

right here

what happened to yesterday

no one called

all day

thought they might

back to reality

sadness in waves

the others

all stuck together

when the ship split…

can't be too sure

never too sure

because you never know

who is going to try

steal your money

old men talking

about security systems

gold coins

value constantly going up

funny thing

same story

changes everyday…