nothing concluded 93

sitting in the midst

a cloud of confusion

disappearing and reappearing

right before eyes

close each day

no one knows

and he may not be the first

right or wrong

singing some wordless song

all thought

just so happened

to have a pen in hand

give him credit for that

and he won’t need to be

first in line

or last out the door

onto the floor

or out in the back yard

remembering moments

as a child again

listening is the best

teacher (aside from my dad)

anyone can hear

what is said

how many listen

and one day it will all end

six or seven days before

that hoping someone

will tell him what to do then

if not now

right or wrong

just trying to find some sense

in the world spinning

clouds of confusion

and nothing concluded…

nothing concluded 92

no one wants to

be awake this early

too early enormously tired

falling over myself

and thoughts

awake then regretting

staying up so late

make up for it tonight

hitting the bed earlier

no one wants to be tired

wishing at times

the whole situation should be different

rewriting the thoughts

that don’t seem to fit

and finding old ones

buried in the books

collecting dust

good thing they don’t

expire like milk

in the back of the refrigerator

wishing not easy

to be someone else

in that situation

no one knows either way

supposing the fantasy was true

wish all I want

won’t make anything

happen worry will still be waiting

in the years to come

they call it experience…

know for now

125/1998


letting it cool
the hot spot
myself from a far off place
my hands flat on the table
may not hold my weight
a moment, I will return
onto a road I do not know
what tomorrow may bring only
what you need
to read carefully to see
the white beneath the black
lines forming words
fitting together like a puzzle
that was left unfinished
thoughts return someday
an answer may come
closer so I can explain
the vague description given
names to all those things
just don’t make sense with words
will work hard and you will succeed
in the spot where I sit
for now someday though not here
the siren sound
so loud it is not as bad
as it seems
less real when thought about
time for a change
the way you think today
only one in a line of many
more to come
closer for a moment more
than what I know for now. . .

nothing concluded 91

seemingly chaotic

some very powerful

times, don’t know

what to believe

of what I hear

suddenly I am

thrown into a frenzy

of what I think

and how I fit

into the scheme

for a time

thinking politically

now more

spiritually

more than usual

knowing that

there are

some things that

will never be

completely clear

whatever ones

beliefs are, that

work for them, are

right, the problem

arises when

someone tries’

to force their

beliefs on others

to me this is wrong

nothing concluded. . .

only right now exists

always worried
about an end
to something so comfortable
always worried my comfort
will make me lose
my perspective on life
everything will end
and there is nothing I can do
to stop this end
always worried and that place is not
where I should be
enjoying every moment I have
treating each as if it were my last
man has said many times
now is the only time
this is true
hard to avoid thought
on what could bring
this now
to an end
looking into eyes
tomorrow disappears
only right now exists. . .

nothing concluded 90

remember those and forget the rest

isn’t as hard when the eyes

glued shut with fear

the world around suffocates and terrifies

nothing concluded…

nothing concluded 89

they all gather in a half circle

around the fire

below the dark night sky

only light from above

stars and moon

there is always a simple

solution to anything

thinking about ourselves

surely will only complicate

an ultimately simple solution

thoughts turn to ash

sitting for a few moments

quiet alert alone

ash falls from the air

blow it away

sitting in some sort

of memory posture

for a time each day

analyzing the mind

no one wants it to end

trying to scan memory

for reasoning

behind the daily visits

to the spot

many years back

such patience

an awful place it is

hope they burn it down

on it tossing all these memories

nothing else

final stages of the misEducation

might possible

could get me nowhere

or somewhere else entirely

don’t know nothing (concluded)…

nothing concluded 88

too many thoughts

all at once

desire only to feel

somewhat sane again

maybe it’s foreign

except in the dreams

they won’t stop

waking the mind from

restful silence

nothing concluded…

further away

warm wind blowing

bubbles in the juice

keeps it going

until it can go no further

away from the point

to the track

will get back on top of that

is all I am at liberty to say

understand is to lie flat

back up from the edge

is too sharp 

corners become rounded

bend and head above water

gets deeper with every step

closer need a better look

no further away from this spot

may never come clean

the mess is intolerable

noise coming from the window

opens and down we fall

back to the beginning

a chain reaction

speaking louder than this

somewhat incomplete

sentence making no sense

to give you what you need

to dig deeper down from high

times or low tide moon being seen

bury bones build bigger problems

getting older and wiser some still

go further away from now

same or not

doesn't matter

of fact presented a prize

new contract squeeze a little tighter

around the throat

swelling too much to swallow

all at one time and with each word

moving forward but

further away from the point...

nothing concluded 87

called her sister once

now seeing distrust

in familiar eyes

across a wooden floor

sitting together

a social view of revolution

but socially is it for the people

against imperialism above all

with little regard for people

nothing concluded…

nothing concluded 86

spinning the wheel

until returning to the spot

his own house

and bed and emotion

coming with the territory

not soon enough

so much is lost

so much is yet to be gained

upon returning to the spot

thunder in the sky above

spinning the wheels

and mantras said

and heard

around and over again

in the mind quiet

too much to think on

at times overwhelmed

by the world

and the atrocities

only can pray harder

nothing concluded

automatic thoughts return

eight years from now

thunder still rolls above

more questions than answers…

nothing concluded 85

falling from far

above nothing

to stop the fall

concluded by

the ground below

up so high

cannot see that which

eye may have missed

falling fast seeing

what never hit eye

seemingly secure

in whatever comes this way

never as comfortable

even in free fall

forward at least

prepared to fall

as hard

if not harder than before

strong arm raised

steady in the air…

nothing concluded 84

rewind then

stop for a moment

lasting too long

this time around

and on again

don’t’ know why

bothered and some will

never quite understand

can’t explain and no one

really cares anyway

climbing up the rope

pass someone who says there

is no top

the bottom is still

close pull harder

drowning in a glass

of water

tapping at the side

until it breaks

and releases these thoughts

blank (ask me again)

blank
page fourteen
thinking
another may know me
well enough
blank
mind cannot
think hard enough
soft as I fall
from where went down
too far
blank
empty
mind
blank
white or non-white
simple
sorry I asked
don't answer
blank again
why wait
ask me
no
don't
all right
ask me again
may not know
blank
who are these people
why so quiet
blank
simple
done
blank again. . .

nothing concluded 83

many times

stopped wait wondering

what is it we must do

in order to get by

maybe write a song

everyone coming

back from

where they have been

and getting ready to

go wherever they go next

pushing the toes off

the ledge where standing

was what eye wondered looking

down how many stories

nothing concluded

some even whisper

while in the same room

doesn’t matter what’s being said

only that others can’t hear it

how rude

slow day

working backwards

from the beginning

when will we all

walk together

some people act as if

every stranger is going

to rob them and that

must feel strange

to the stranger

soon the sun will set

and the day will be done

too fast today

need to reprogram and slow

down that fast

sun smiling onto

this Fro—Zen ground

and still the toes

back from the ledge

but cold

everyone will be converging

on this spot soon

won’t matter much

never has

nothing concluded…

paper snowflake

looking through the yellow window

don't have answers

or even know question

out into the cold

sun burns down pounding

a silent dream beat

wandering soul finding a match

lit the darkened room

once green across out another window

two pieces of tape hold

the paper snowflake in place

see it from here but empty or full

does it really matter

that much not sure

voice muffled thinking someone

must know not here not now

wrapping pictures

who's present or past

and what does the future hold...

Thursday noon

so close to the edge

hoping not to fall
rise up above
but feeling so small
the thoughts that rage
and notion that I'll never fit
into the puzzle of life
but I won't quit
escaping necessary
in order to find peace
cross legged on the floor
and the rage will soon cease
expose all my wounds
despair
and all of the thoughts
leading me to not care
about myself
in the least bit
haunted by that feeling
might never fit
and it's a feeling
won't soon get
it's like swimming
without getting wet
bet all your money
or better yet mine
something will assist
wait for the sign
to tell the tale
still really not sure
and when we stop caring
we will be here no more
no more of this
and way too much of that
remember five years
right there where I sat
seeming so long
flying so fast
positively feeling
as if the time would last
not long enough
cannot sit still
feet still planted
on the window sill
with all of the plants
growing strong
like the will to go on
but will it last long
as the hair grows
out of my head
worry not much
just thinking instead
upon departing
what do they say
never felt wanted
they want me to stay
and not move
the spot found
no one is here
upon turning around
in my sleep
never quite reaching a dream
and this reality is
exactly what it seems
so simple when
put into words
different somehow from
those I once heard
the news but
know not what it said
everything living will
someday be dead
this doesn't sadden
but a far look ahead
some kind of goal reached
when we are dead
still unsure
and may have it all wrong
sorry to disappoint
held captive too long. . .

the pen won't rest

1210/1997

and the pen does not

stop me if I go too far

from my point me

in the right direction

if followed by clouds and rain

the skies tears

on pale cheeks and skin

turning red when touched

by the thought I would

know by now

and again I see the writing

on the floor cracks under

too many feet

rising to the occasion

then falling to the floor again. . .stop to think I may be moving

slowly at times down

to the end of the road

where this race ends

and another soon to

begin and away from

but close enough too

much more to come

back tomorrow

always twenty-four hours away

behind lie the days we cannot

return to that day

speaking loud and clear. . .

the hat doesn't fit

down to the depths

ears pop
windows smash
out of a mind
spinning with no end
the dizzy spell
the world
just like it sounds
as if it can't be seen
clear enough
of what's needed
not much to get by
my side by side
with him
again repeating
what's been said
this was important

now and then
sitting alone
not so content
with a mind
feeling empty
cup of coffee
keeping him sleepy
sounds silent
screaming so loud
pound the thought
that won't die
in footsteps
in front not behind
the man alive
and breathing heavy weighing down
from above or below
toes take root
in the soft earth

brought to that spot
you in the crowd
millions of strangers
nothing is stranger
than eye
thinking too much
of the same song stuck
in a head
won't float away
from where he thought
he knew what it all meant
to tell you
will be missed
don't hear words
when eye
stand alone

it's now
from now on
the other side
with stronger forces
a mind to scramble
to its feet exposed
under the sky blanket
and all is falling
tremendous height
now sinking
in the seat
under the hat
that doesn't fit. . .

fear the day

today is the day
after yesterday
he told me things
will change
and what was it that the thunder said?
‘Da Da Da!'
how could anyone take him serious
this day has arrived
what can we say
still frozen with the chill of last night
the stars shine as bright
eyes of the night
a night that would not end
today came and ruined the equation
proving it false
again hearing
‘Da-Eliot closed his heart'
‘Da-he closed his mind'
‘Da-what a disappointment'
to each his own
admit that it saddens
to move from the river bank
and forget all he said
out of fear. . .