used to be

there are so many
things that I feel I used to be 
that I am no longer 
never have been able to put my finger 
on what it is I believe my purpose is on this planet 
but I will someday 
until then I smoke my cigars and drink my coffee 
cough a little and stay hungry...

undo(for the record)

from a different

angle now
a different spot
above or below
back to the spot tonight
it is possible
 
for the record
realizing the truth
and the trust broken
where it will lead
no one will ever
trust these words
it’s all the same
no matter what every moment
 
for the record
back to a spot that might
make sense to someone
trying hard to find myself
pull myself back out of myself
I know he’s there
wishing to undo
what’s been done
it’s already too late
trying to understand myself
again and again…