known for sure

when it all changes

seems the same again

change again

right back at it

no one is here

this is all I know

write it down

think it out

there has got to be a way

better than

small pocket of time

all wrong in my mind…

wall bound

driving into a wall

betrayal and darkened

thoughts

against the wall

leaning and starting to unravel

a story

bike rides by

through a puddle

splash

against the wall…

two months later

what’s the purpose

what’s even been done

and who really cares

forgot that idea

as it was rightly ignored

and as I stumbled around

well known it wasn’t

going well

what’s the purpose

of the emotion

no one wants to swim in the ocean

maybe happiness

rather sink or in the sink float

never move up

go thirsty drinking

from a broken cup

believing a false reality

pretending it was all good

rather be lonely

then watch misery pretend

happy like walking backwards

through the gate

into a garden there

isn’t one flower left…

series of events

met one day

knew what I  thought

I knew

ended up not knowing enough

always coming around

entering the room

energy incomparable

miss that part

memories start to organize

series of events

spread over time

thought slide show

on the brain

starts in the car

after the movie

sling blade

good night kiss…

whaling from a kayak

the man in the kayak

spit grease on the rug

and because of that

he was asked about

the upcoming expedition

why has he never taken off his shoes

only wish is to see through walls

and make bird calls is what he said

he wouldn’t be serious and stand up straight

would make eye contact with anyone

cried that whaling had always been

like breathing for him

especially done from the kayak

sudden strangers

one week now

bare it all

familiar have become

sudden strangers

state of mind

not important

stand up straight

or sit and cringe

nerves banging on thoughts

bouncing around like

a pinball machine

internal and flipping out

reigns seized and a fall

beneath the wheels

might be unavoidable

losing when winning

is on the mind

or only in the mind

everything seems planned

how randomly wrong…

un-kept promises

the days

don’t get any easier

to catch

a glimpse of happiness

right there all along

the watchtower playing in the back ground

something keeping it here we go again

with another hope filled page

burned again

with no response

empty head

and promises

never expected to be

in every scene

don’t want to play

the loser…

tie dye swirl

speeding toward infinity

how do the bird

know where they came from

if they do know

what if they know more

dreaming in tie dye swirls

at times

the birds always find their

way back home

could’ve noticed something else

this is where I came to today…

even the wise

even the wise

can’t know what

to do all the time

posed with a problem

always trial and error

might lose grip

the first few times

balance could get thrown

reality can’t be taken lightly

even by the wise

will realize when reality

is being washed away

undertow pulling it

far from the shore

endless possibilities

are not always real

how many of the wise

know the reality

of this loneliness

that floods the surrounding region

the wise tend to not

know where to stand…

throw up on his shoes

gonna throw up

on your shoes

after hearing all the news

not in a good position

to be such a liar

how many before

leaving the post

what will be news

when you leave

not even accountable

for conflicts abroad

unless it’s under your desk

putting our soldiers in harms

way while you have fun

putting on your suit

and playing the role everyday…

on the leaving

circling silent streets

leaves bowing away from

shared space solitude sought

into a funnel

pouring the all of life

down it returns

night after night

standing in the doorway

dark night slow departure

impression on the glass

hours of rain finally ceased

imitation sunlight

clears the fog

the weight of emptiness

heart swept bare

mind won’t let it fly

from hands reaching up...

thinking I might

most of the time

spent thinking I might

someday understand

and that day may never come

skies seem clear

how would I know

must be something

retainable hold on

the something

yet to be found

who else shares

that determination

thinking I might…

random mindful circles

being so bright

it becomes

hard to see

making the best

from what is given

what is earned

nothing taken

without permission

walking collection of words

scattered from one end

to the other

moving around

random mindful

circles…

flashlight

thought caught

on a glimpse

of sunshine

it turns out it was

a very big flashlight

and it was a dream

turned off

once the dream ended…

summer comes

right here

what happened to yesterday

no one called

all day

thought they might

back to reality

sadness in waves

the others

all stuck together

when the ship split…

can't be too sure

never too sure

because you never know

who is going to try

steal your money

old men talking

about security systems

gold coins

value constantly going up

funny thing

same story

changes everyday…

still in the dark

still in a daze

from morning until night

brings more of the same

just one of the many

wanting what we can’t have

still in the dark

what has gone on

months have passed

still can’t rest in that room

still in a daze…

signs of a struggle

signs of a struggle

to the end

something doesn’t

make sense

of a difficult situation

unlike the rest

welcomed but the wait

too long awaiting the outcome

never arrives without warning

standing still asking

all these things

to reevaluate that which

doesn’t make sense…

dateline murders

becoming part of the problem

not the solution

to use fear to change the agenda

and the way we all

look at life

moving away from violence

not in this culture

two sides to every tale

the television laments

on the awful nature

but their regular programming

contradicts this every other night

society and a culture of fear

will not defend any murderers

dateline wonders why

and then blames guns

and the accessibility to them

without mentioning any other factors

maybe they did

maybe they studied it all

how can we believe what we

are told on the same channel

where watching violence

every night is still an option…

lesson in impermanence

serves me right

for giving in

seemingly hopeful endeavor

never could last

nothing does

seemed so different

serves me right for

hoping for anything…

possible solution

certain fears may pass

trust still might be alone

that light still aimed down

this way like a shooting star

every time I drive by the garage

holding all those memories

burning with wood in the stove

got hot and everyone around quit

thinking a possible solution

ignoring what hides deep

horn player keeps playing his tune

fear the situation all over again...

another thought crash

pulling myself to now

arriving with new eyes

gazing upward

pointing to a spot

between thoughts

a space

finding comfort there

not long

another thought crashes

hard upon

that which was becoming

the process is gradual

a change of direction
bringing small noticeable
embraceable results
increasing though slow
the state of well being
turning the focus
transforming habitual thoughts
dissatisfaction and anger
frustration and disappointment
listening close hearing the main voice
within the voice in which thoughts recite themselves
creating a space between thoughts
and reactions eventually achieving awareness
the nature of the self
realizing the voice of thoughts
does not dictate actions / reactions
realizing the choice to react still exists
the meditation is thorough but gradual
only hope is that patience and determination see it through…

busy sneakers

screaming baby broken bottle

hearts may mend never as strong

flip through thoughts

told a story didn't want to hear

after all the bricks are laid

next to the wall it might crumble

as hard to get up each day

with these busy sneakers…

four to 9

might not be much

what I know I can do

land of misfits

enjoying this place

for personal reasons

guessing

where else are they

going to go

might just be a meal

more than that

a moment

someone paid attention

not because they were told

it’s what I know I can do…